


Always Darkest Before The Dawn

by Museu



Series: A Light In The Darkness [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Cannon Divergent, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Happy Ending, Language, M/M, Mpreg, Violence, Wincest - Freeform, soul mates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-09
Updated: 2014-02-09
Packaged: 2018-01-11 18:04:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 63,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1176196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Museu/pseuds/Museu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The darkest point in life is when you are getting so close to the light. When you are so close to achieving something you never thought was a possibility. Sam is left alone when Dean and Cas killed Dick, he was wasting away until a beacon of hope change his life. What happens when one night changes the events of your life in the most significant way and the darkness finally turns into light.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer:I do not own the characters in this story nor do I receive any profit for this work. 
> 
> This is my first fan fic ever, so I apologize in advance for the mess. Season 8 is one of my favorite seasons, and after a dream this fic pretty much wrote it self. Please enjoy and stick around for a couple of one shots created for this series, A Light in the Darkness.

 

 

 

**Prologue**

Sam has not been feeling well for the last couple of months and today is no exception. He blames this all on the stress of having to deal with the leviathans and having no other option but to receive help from Crowley in order to formulate a plan that would work in killing Roman. His stomach is a string of knots, he feels dizzy because he hasn’t been able to keep much of anything in and he is exhausted from lack of rest. But at the same time his adrenaline levels are set on overdrive, because if the plan works, the world would be rid of the threat of the leviathans. Sam knows that for the plan to work he needs to be one hundred percent in, or at least as close as can be, so he drowns all uneasiness and focuses on his objective.  

Dean and Cas have Dick cornered in the lab while Sam and Kevin are off defending their perimeters. Dick is right where they want him. Dean sees the opportunity and stabs the bone right through Dick’s neck and dark fluid begins to slide off the inflicted wound. The atmosphere is charged with energy and time seems to go fast and slow all at once. Dean feels the energy as something solid as it travels in waves from the leviathan in from of him to the rest of his surroundings.  One minute he is in the lab killing the leviathan and covering his face from the exploding mess that is Dick, and the next there is only darkness.  

Sam runs into the lab pumped with adrenaline and wanting nothing more than for all of this to be over. He is also fearful that something has gone wrong. Kevin is right behind him and they came to a complete stop once they see Dean stab Dick with God’s weapon. Sam feels the small surge of energy that are the residues generated from the sight in from of him. This only intensifies his fear and his focus is directed towards Dean. Dick explodes and out of reflex his arm came up to shield his face and shield Kevin who is standing just behind him. Time stops.

In just a matter of seconds, although it feels like hours, Dean, Cas and Dick are nowhere in sight and Sam and Kevin are left alone in the lab. Sam’s heart drops as a million questions race through his head and an endless feeling of despair flows through his body as he tries to make sense of the confusing scene in front of him. The leviathan is gone for certain as there is evidence of this in nearly every inch of the lab in the form of dark fluid that can only be assumed to be Dick’s blood. But what is also certain is that Dean is no longer in sight nor is Cas.

Kevin is scared beyond imagination and his voice stutters a little as he mutters, “Sam we should go.”

For a moment Sam can’t breathe, can’t think and his confusion is easily visible.   _‘Where is Dean?’_ is the phrase that his mind keeps on repeat for what seems like forever.  Sam faintly hears a voice from behind him. He turns his head from side to side until he sees Kevin’s face and sees a similar expression of confusion and fear.  The next time he turns in the direction where Dean used to be standing, Crowley appears.

“He is gone Sam,” says Crowley in what can only be described as a sadistic tone as his lips twitch upwards as if holding back a smile.

Sam is taken aback when he sees Crowley and he suddenly inches closer plagued with a look of confusion, but with a strong will to find out what is going on. Sam does not even register what Crowley just said, and keeps moving towards him determine to get answers.

Sam stops when he is roughly four feet away from Crowley and asks, “Where’s Dean?”

Crowley remains unaffected by the emotional human in front of him. He only helped the Winchesters because he needed them to get rid of Dick and the other Leviathans and damn the consequences.  And now the leviathans are gone and there is no deal of alliance or profit to be gain from the remaining two in front of him. As it seems, fate has granted him with good fortune as he now has one less hunter behind his back and his sidekick of an angel. He has no idea where Dean and Castiel have gone or if they are dead, and he does not care. He is a demon after all. But right now, in front of him he has even more good fortune; the ability to break down another hunter and take possession of the prophet.

Crowley takes just one step closer and says, “Dean is gone. You can’t honestly think you can use one of God’s weapons and not expect casualties. It is just the price to pay.” He pauses for a moment staring at Sam and there is a look of understanding in Sam’s face.  He then looks at Kevin, standing quietly behind Sam.

Sam refuses to believe anything coming out of Crowley’s mouth. Dean cannot be gone, and it is as simple as that. It suddenly dawns on Sam and he yells, “this was your plan all along, let us do all the work and then go after Kevin. Where are they Crowley?”

Crowley smiles at Sam.  “You got what you wanted Sam,” Crowley keeps the malicious smile on his face as he continues by saying “Dick is dead. Saved the world, all I want is one little prophet.” And with the snap of his fingers two demon spawn appear taking hold of Kevin, and with another snap is as if they were never there.

Sam starts to panic, and his body is betraying him and is letting some of that fear show on his face and body language. By each passing moment the feeling of hopelessness is intensified. He is getting dizzy and he just keeps thinking about how terribly wrong this all has gone. Sam doesn’t want this. Yes he wanted Dick gone and the world safe from the wrath of the leviathans but not at this cost. And now Dean and Cas are gone and he couldn’t have done anything to prevent Kevin from being taken.

“Sorry Moose, wish I could help. You certainly got a lot on your plate right now.” Says Crowley with a hint of a smile which just shows how sorry he truly is.

The next few words out of Crowley’s mouth hurt Sam more than all the years he spent in Hell. “It looks like you are well and truly all on your own. “ Crowley says just before he disappears.

Sam forgets to breathe after that. All the uneasiness he felt, the dizziness, the tiredness and the endless despair just explodes inside of him. In the next moment his body gives out and he falls to the floor. _‘Dean is gone and I’m truly all that’s left,’_ is Sam’s last thought before darkness takes hold of him.


	2. Darkest Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam has been searching for Dean none stop and has fallen sick. He also meets Amelia.

 

Sam wakes up on the glossy floor, completely disoriented and as he begins to open his eyes his first thoughts go to Dean. “I lost him,” he whispers to himself. But in saying this, Sam realizes that it is so much more than losing his brother, but losing the last remaining member of his family. Sam has lost both his parents, Bobby is dead, there is no more Jo or Ellen, Kevin is as good as dead, Castiel is gone, and there is no more Dean. Dean. He realizes that in losing Dean he has lost his sibling, his best friend, his companion, his soul mate.

Sam slowly gets up from the floor almost in auto pilot and paying little attention to where he is or where he is going. He feels numb from the overwhelming feeling of loss and hopelessness. His mind is a jungle of incoherent thoughts as it battles between replaying the events that occurred today and to shield itself by forgetting, in an attempt to reduce the pain. This ongoing battle with himself only lasts until Sam reaches the outside of the building and he spots the black beauty that is the Impala.

When Sam sees the impala it is like looking at it for the first time. Just one look at the car remains him of Dean. It dawns on him that he believed Crowley far too quickly. Crowley is a demon and demons lie. Crowley could have lied about Dean, he made it seem as if Dean had died along with Castiel and Dick, but what if he is just stuck somewhere alive and in need of help?  Sam smiles at this new sense of hope and at the faith he just acquired that Dean is still alive and that he would stop at nothing until he finds him.

 

He walks up to the car and opens the driver side door and slides in. Sam turns on the radio and smiles once more trying to picture Dean acting all offended for playing anything other than classic rock on his precious baby. He drives off in route back to the motel that they had been staying and along the way Sam starts to generate a plan to initiate the search for his brother.

 

  
Three months have passed. Three months and Sam has exhausted every source and resource he has and he is nowhere near finding Dean.  The first week Sam spends doing research on the computer and calling hunters, college professors and other professionals on the supernatural to gain any information about leviathans and the use of God’s weapon. He has gotten a couple of good leads on books that could have some useful information and there is talk about some hunters in North Jersey that have information about leviathans. From these hunters he has learned that if he continues further north towards Maine he would find a church that has some very old scripts with information about God’s Weapon.

The lack of result has a toll on Sam’s health, which only seems to be getting worse. The continuous search for Cas and Dean has only depleted his appetite as the days grow long and he becomes tire because of the lack of sleep. Whenever he tries to eat anything it would just come back up and when he tries to sleep he is plagued with nightmares. Sam is losing weight fast and his complexion is very pale, nearly translucent after neglecting his health for so long.

In the second month, Sam is only getting worse. He is underweight and he starts getting horrible cramps in his stomach.  At first they feel as a small discomfort, but gradually they have become more intense. He attributes all this to stress, but he soon realizes that his recent pattern of behavior when it came to taking care of his health is the major contributor. Sam starts to think about Dean in that moment, and realizes that he would probably get his ass kicked if Dean sees him in such a condition. Dean has always taken care of Sam and for Sam to repay him by just fading away from lack of sleep and food deprivation is just unacceptable. Not to mention that Sam realizes that his search would be of no use if he cannot function at one hundred percent.

But truth be told, the more he searches for Dean the more he believes Crowley, that Dean is truly gone and never coming back. The more he searches the more the sense of loss increases and the chances of being reunited with his brother is becoming a dream unreachable.

On the third month,  Sam starts taking better care of himself knowing how disappointed Dean would be if the thing that kills Sam is malnutrition, which would be incredibly ironic considering his line of work. Sam also doesn’t want to go to the doctor if he could prevent it, because using fake insurance only raises questions and he hates lying. He is still under weight, but the nausea has reduced and he is able to keep most things down.  The nausea has him an alert, because even before Dean’s disappearance he had been getting sick at the taste or even the smell of certain foods. It is until two weeks that Dean is gone that nausea came at full force. Now however, the nausea is more manageable and feels less threatening  but still worrisome.

For the past three months Sam has been living between Motel rooms and the impala, and moving from state to state looking for answers. Out of nowhere he receives a call from Garth, who has taken over Bobby’s job, and asks Sam to take care of a possible poltergeist that has killed several people over in Kansas.  Sam doesn’t want to deviate from the search for his brother, but he does need a break from this obsession that he has developed.  Information is getting scarcer by the day and Sam figures that while he is in Kansas he could talk to some of the local hunters.

As Sam nears Kansas the most unexpected thing happens. Sam is looking through the glove compartment searching for an AC/DC cassette when he hears a bump. The impala comes to a complete stop and Sam begins to panic.

“Oh my god I hit someone,” Sam says out loud.

He rapidly opens the door to the driver side of the impala fearing the worst and hoping that the person is still alive. He is surprised as he inches closer to find a dog lying on the ground nearly unconscious and only a few feet away from the impala. At this point, not even all the years as a hunter have done anything to stop this sudden panic attack he is having. But even with his frantic nerves he acts fast and as quickly as he can master he picks up the Bernese mountain dog and places him in the passenger seat of the car.  The dog has his eyes half close, but Sam could still hear the soft whimpering.

“Oh my god what am I going to do? I just hit a dog? A dog. I just hit a dog, and he is going to die. What am I going to do?” Sam keeps his panicked rambling. “Okay Sam think, you need to find a vet. Yes find a vet, is not too late,” he looks over to the dog as if to confirm that he is still alive. He finds that the dog seems comfortable enough in the car as he stares back with half open brown eyes, but he is still losing blood.  

It takes Sam twenty minutes to find a veterinarian, and by this time his nerves are anything but calm. Twenty minutes spent asking and looking around for a vet is almost unbelievable he is over here with a dying dog for crying out loud. His panic attack is back in full blast. When he finally pulls up to the entrance of the office, he is feeling light headed, his stomach is in knots and he fears that he will pass out before he even makes it through the doors.

Sam moves quickly and goes around to the passenger side door and opens it to carefully lift the pup and take it in to be looked at. By this time the dog’s body lays motionless in Sam’s arms, but Sam still sees movement coming from his lungs. Sam moves fast through the semi empty office of the veterinarian.

“I need a doctor. I need a doctor right now, I think he is dying,” Sam says to the lady sitting on the reception desk and points to the dog in his arms.

The receptionist rapidly gets up from her chair and say, “Calm down Sir, okay? We are going to take care of your dog.”

“Set him down this way,” came a voice from behind Sam. Sam follows the doctor until he comes into a white painted office and he places the dog down in the available table in front of him. “Sir, I need to ask you what happen?” asks the doctor.

“Sam. I’m Sam and the dog he is not mine. I was driving and… I didn’t see him. He came out of nowhere. Oh god he is going to die, isn’t he?” He says with pleading eyes. His eyes are asking for understanding and reassurance that everything will be alright, a job that used to belong to Dean.

Amelia looks at the man in front of him and realizes that he is panicking which is not helping matters at all. She still doesn’t know what is wrong with the dog so she needs to get to work and pronto. “Sam, I’m Amelia and I’m going to ask you to calm down, and breathe. I’m going to do my best to look after him, but in order to do my job I need you to go and wait outside. Can you do that for me Sam?”

Sam realizes that he must be in a really panicked stated to be talked as if he is a five year old and needs things to be said slowly to make sure that he understands.  He stares at the vet and says “yes, of course,” and he moves towards the door at a much slower paced than he entered. He shakes his head, “what the hell is wrong with me,” Sam whispers to himself. His recent mood swings have also been worrisome, because since when is seeing a bloodied dog ever deserve such a reaction. Not even when a wendigo nearly took one of Dean’s arms off did he panic as much.

With his nerves settled and as he realizes that he can once again breathe, the feeling of dizziness starts to dissipate and he realizes that he is starving. He had skipped lunch in an attempt to make it to Kansas before dark. He looks around the waiting area and notices that there are only three more people in the waiting room. There are several rows of seats around the wall and several are arranged around the middle of the room. The television is tuned to some infomercial about pet food and care. Sam notices a bending machine near the back of the office and moves towards it. He ends up getting a snickers bar and a bottle of water. This is in no way going to satisfy his appetite, but it would have to do for now until he is able to book a motel and look around the area for a diner.

As he eats his snack bar, Sam begins to wonder what is keeping him glued to the chair awaiting news regarding the dog, considering that he isn’t his dog. It probably has to do with feeling responsible for having hurt it in the first place and he probably wants to alleviate some of the forming guilt of having possibly just killed a very beautiful dog.  Sam doesn’t have to wait long for the vet to come out and announce that he could come in and see the dog.  

“Is he okay?” Sam asks as soon as he walks in the office where the dog still lying on the table.

Amelia looks at Sam and smiles. “He is perfectly fine, he just suffers from a strained leg and the whole ordeal of the accident seems to have tired him out. I injected him with a sedative that should help him with the pain. He is sleeping now and will be for the next couple of hours, but you can take him home.”

“Home? No, no he is not my dog,” Sam quickly reminds her.

With a sense of distaste for the man in front of her, she looks at Sam and says, “So what, you just hit him and go off. You are not taking any responsibility?”  Amelia is kind of upset at the moment. The day has been one of those days where things just don’t go right, then she gets a panicking man, and now said man is trying to leave her with an injured dog and flee.

So just like that Sam has ran over a dog, has his first panic attack since he was ten, has upset a veterinarian and is now an owner of Bernese mountain dog, all in a day’s work.  After some arguing with the vet and insisting that he couldn’t take care of an animal because he moves around a lot and his work and lifestyle make it almost impossible, Amelia pretty much guilt tricks him into leaving the office with the dog. So now Sam has a bag full of goodies, along with some change of bandages and information about taking care of a pet.

He loops the plastic bag around his right hand and then he slowly picks up the dog from the table. Sam goes back to the impala and places the still sleeping dog on the front passenger seat and goes back to the vet’s office to pay for the bill and he gets told by Amelia that he has to come back for a checkup in two weeks. She gives him her card and says to call if he has any questions. Sam doubts that he would call her back or if he is sticking around town for that long.

Sam gets back to the car and slides into the driver seat. He looks at the passenger seat and has to control a nervous laugh at the turn of today’s events. Dean would kill him if he knew that Sam has placed a street dog in the front seat of his previous impala, dirtying up the upholstery. _‘Dean,’_ Sam thinks. He misses Dean like no one else. Their relationship had been fragile for some time, but before Dean’s disappearance it started to get better. They started trusting each other more.  But it was more than that, seeing as six months back or three months before Dean disappeared, Sam and Dean’s relationship as brother had taken a turn for the unexpected. But it is a memory that Sam is unable to relive for no more than a couple of seconds.

The impala makes a stop in front of the nearby motel and Sam steps out and goes to the reception desk to rent a room. “Can I get two queens please?” He suddenly realizes his mistake, “Sorry I mean one queen.” Dean has been gone for three months and Sam still feels his presence like a force.  The man at the desk looks at him weirdly, but hands him a key to a room once he has paid with one the fraudulent credit cards.  He goes back to the Impala and picks up his bag from the trunk, opens the door to the motel and deposits the bag in top of the bed.

The room is like every other motel room he has ever been in; tacky wallpaper, a bed in the middle of the room minus the extra bed, a dining table to the side with two chairs all adjacent to bathroom at the farthest end of the room.  After a quick assessment of the room and seeing nothing suspicions he heads out to sneak in the sleeping dog from the car. He is pretty sure, pets are not allowed in the room, but what else can he do? He is reminded that he still hasn’t eaten when his stomach begins to growl quite loudly, Sam is surprise it doesn’t go on waking up the dog.  

Figuring that the dog would still be asleep for a couple of more hours, he deems it safe to go out for a supply run after taking a hot shower. Along the way he can pick up some food for himself and his new companion, do a restock on salt and buy a dog’s bed and a few toys to keep him from going after Sam's shoes.  Sam realizes that he should really stop calling the dog, dog, especially if he is going to keep him. (Or at least keep him if no one makes a claim for him).  So as he rides around town looking for supplies, Sam thinks of a few names, but he keeps coming back to the name Jack. He goes into a convenient store and buys the salt, snacks and a couple of water bottles, Sam then asks around for directions to the nearest pet shop, where he gets the bed, some food for Jack and toys. He stops at the diner that is closes to the hotel and decides to pick up something warm to eat back in his room.

The diner is only half full and Sam stands by the counter until one of the waitress comes to take his order.

“Hey sweetheart, what can I get you?” says the waitress at the counter in a slow almost seductive voice as she places one elbow on the counter in order to get closer to Sam’s face. She then proceeds to place her pen to her mouth and she smiles at Sam.

Sam knows that she is looking for a response to her flirting. She is beautiful, with long eyelashes, dark rich brown eyes, pink pouty lips and honey brown hair. Sam has to smile at her, because although it seems that he is getting more attention now that hot and gorgeous Dean isn’t around, Sam just isn’t interested, but Dean would have been all over her.  That thought wipes the smile out of his face, and he looks at her with disdain and he hates the girl instantly.

“I’ll have a chicken salad,” Sam starts to order. “I’ll also have a burger with a side of large fries, two slices of apple pie, and a large chocolate milkshake to go.”

The waitress takes the pen out of her mouth and straightens out. Her mood quickly changes as she notices the change in the man whom she was so unsubtly trying to seduce.  “This is surely a lot of food for one person,” she mentions in a friendly matter despite the look that she was receiving.

Sam shrugs, his face still holds an icy expression and he doesn’t bother with a response.  He knows that it is a lot of food, but he is really hungry having gone most of the day without food. Not to mention he is finally gaining the last of the weight he has lost, and then some. The waitress walks away without another word. He knows that he is being a Jerk, but he can’t help it. He has been feeling off his element for some time now, and his mood would change abruptly without much warning or control.

Sam silently sits by the counter to wait for his food and tries to avoid looking over to where the waitress is taking an order from a young couple that has just walked him. She smiles at them, and Sam feels guilty because she was just trying to be nice to him, but he couldn’t bring himself to go up to her and apologize. Hopefully she doesn’t spit on his food as a response to his rude behavior.

The same waitress, Janice reads her tag, walks up to Sam and hands him the food in to-go containers ten minutes later. Sam manages to give her what he hopes is an apologetic smile, which seems to work because she smiles back.  Sam picks up the food and heads back to the motel, for a quiet evening alone. Well not alone, as he remembers he now has an injured dog on his bed.

Back in his room, he places the food on the table and goes back to the impala and picks up the other items he has purchase.  Sam takes out the salt and begins placing salt lines around each entrance and when he is done he attacks the containers that hold his food.  After Sam has finally gotten out of his fading episodes and started taking care of himself, his appetite had come back with a vengeance and he has been eating like a possessed man, always ordering more than usual and always finishing it all off.  He is gaining a little weight, but it is barely noticeable and his pants still fit.

As soon as Sam starts moving around discarding the empty containers he notices movements from across the room. When he looks in the direction of the noise, he sees Jack’s sleepy brown eyes staring back at him.

Sam gets close enough to the bed, sits next to Jack and places a soothing hand over his fur. “Hey boy, how are you feeling?” he speaks to the dog. “I bet you’re hungry.”

There is a huge bag of dog food that he had bought early and is now standing by the side of the door. Sam first reaches for a bowl he had also gotten earlier from the pet shop and fills it with a generous amount of food and places it by the dog bed.  He then returns for another bowl and fills that one with water and places it next to Jack’s food. He turns to Jack and lifts him up. Jack let out a small whine, and Sam feels instantly guilty for having moved him, but he could not have a dog eating on the bed that he was going to sleep in. More gently, he places Jack on his small bed and Sam smiles as Jack goes straight for the food sitting in front of him.

“Hey Buddy slow down, I guess you were hungry too huh?” Sam lets out a small but joyful laugh as he stares back at Jack. Sam finally has some time to look at the dog. He looks very young and definitely smaller than a full mature dog for his kind. His face is mostly covered in black fur with splashes of light brown  and white around his nose and mouth. The rest of his body is also black with the exception of the extremities of his legs which are covered in the same light brown. His right front paw is covered with white bandages.  Jack is a really beautiful dog.  

The sun has long gone down and Sam is exhausted, but he needs to do a little more research before he goes out to finish the salt and burn tomorrow. He takes his laptop out of his bag and places it on the table. He sits down on one of the chairs and begins double checking the information he has gotten before he arrived in town.

Eugene Black, was killed in the basement of his house fifty years ago at the age of 25, and he is now terrorizing the people who live in his house. There has been five deaths in the past 10 years, all killed in the exact way that Eugene was killed. What made him almost sure that it was Eugene’s spirit,  is that others who have made it out alive from the house have reported seeing a young man out of the corner of their eyes, but when they turn towards the aberration there is no one there.  They also reported flashing lights and cold spots throughout the house. Thus, tomorrow Sam will go talk to the victim’s family and verify the information, burn the bones of Eugene, and be done with the case.

This is Sam’s first hunt since Dean’s disappearance. And the more Sam thinks things through the more he realizes that he doesn’t want to keep doing this; continue hunting. If Dean is gone then Sam just doesn’t want to hunt by himself, he never liked it to begin with. He knows of the importance of hunters, and killing the things that go bumping the night hurting others, but without Dean backing him up, he just does not trust himself to do a good job. So Sam decides that this would be his last poltergeist and his last hunt.

It is passed midnight when Sam closes the lid of the computer, stands up and makes a move towards his duffel bag and takes out a pair of sweatpants. He strips down to his boxer and undershirt, he had a shower before he went out for the food so he just puts on his sweats and goes into the bathroom to finish off his hygiene routine.  And then he passes out from exhaustion on the bed.

 

 

Sam wakes up the next morning and the first thing he notices as he is getting out of bed is that Jack had left his own to come sleep on the ground next to Sam’s bed. Sam smiles at this because apparently Jack has volunteered to be his newest protector. Or he is probably just scared and disoriented of having woken up in a strange room and vulnerable because of his injured leg.

Soon enough, Sam gets out of the bathroom with just a towel around his waist and steam radiating from his body from the shower he just took. He notices Jack scratching at the front door.  Sam puts on a pair of boxers and moves forward to inch closer to Jack. Sam is glad to see the dog moving around and he places a hand over his fur. “Hey Jack. You don’t mind if I call you Jack right?” The dog lets out a bark and Sam lets out a small laugh. “I guess you need to go, huh. Let me just get ready and I’ll take you on a walk on my way to get breakfast.” Sam says has he moves to his duffel bag and pulls out a clean  blue and white striped shirt, a pair of jeans and socks and gets dressed.

Sam decides to stay close by to avoid adding strain to Jacks injured leg and he gets a breakfast sandwich and a bottle of orange juice from a nearby convenience store, he did not dare go into the diner from last night remembering what a total jerk he had been to the waitress. After their little walk and after Sam eats his breakfast in a table outside the store they walk back to the motel. He drops Jack off in the room and hopes that he doesn’t cause any problems while he is out working the case. He leaves Jack with plenty of food and water to last him for a couple of hours and he should be back to walk him before he has to go do the salt and burn after night falls.

The interviews with the family go as expected. Sam tells them that he works for the local paper and is doing a piece on the history of the murders surrounding the house. Most of the people Sam speaks to are a little hesitant at first in providing any helpful information, but after he gives them his most impressive and heartfelt puppy dog eyes, as Dean calls it, they are spilling out all they know. As it turns out he was right about Eugene been the killer, seeing as he got an eyewitness who saw the spirit and is able to give a description of Eugene. Sam is able to match the description from an old newspaper photo of the article published the day Eugene died.

For some reason Sam is feeling a little twitchy about this case, he doesn’t think that he is missing any information, but he still has a feeling of uneasiness. He shakes it off, and decides not to focus too much on it and instead devote his attention to getting the case close, and be done with hunting.

Sam stops by a diner to pick up an order of hot wings, biscuits, ranch dressing for his wings and a bottle of apple juice. Sam doesn’t think twice about the unusual combination of hot wings and ranch dressing or the other unusual foods he has being consuming recently, like peanut butter and pickle sandwiches.

As soon as Sam walks in the door he is greeted by a very energetic pup. “Hey Jack buddy, how are you doing?” Sam says as he crouches down and plays with Jack’s face. “Is nice to see you too, but I wasn’t gone that long was I?”

He finishes walking inside the room and is surprised to have received such a greeting from the same dog he almost killed just the night before.  But Jack is probably just lonely, Sam thinks that Jack is going to fit right in with him. Sam puts the containers of his food on the table and sits down to eat. He takes his hot wings and pours four small ranch dressing packages in top of them. Sam observes that Jack is looking at the food with his tongue hanging from the side of his opened mouth so Sam takes one of the covered wings, brakes a piece of it and feeds it to Jack. Jack quickly moves forward to eat the offered meal, but as soon as he takes a bite, he makes a whiny noise.

“Oh come on is not that bad,” Sam says to Jack and proceeds to take a napkin and wipe off the dressing and tries to feed Jack once more, this time Jack eats the piece of chicken gladly. While Jack chews through the bones of the chicken on floor next to Sam, Sam digs into his own food sitting in the table with his laptop opened.  

He passes the time on the computer researching and entertaining the possibility that if is really leaving the hunting world behind, he should probably start looking for somewhere to live. He considers staying in Kansas, he figures that for some good reason his parents had found a home here, it is beautiful and the people are decent company. Jack nudges him and places his head on Sam’s thighs.

“Hey how about we go for a walk and stretch that leg of yours,” says Sam as he looks down at Jack.  Sam stands up and looks for Jack’s collar. They sneak out of the motel and stick close by, but by the time they returned to the room it is already nightfall.  

Sam kneels in front of Jack and pets him. “Okay Jack, I need you to be good. I’m going out but I’ll be back soon, so no barking okay?” He looks at the dog almost expecting an answer, but what is creepier is the look of understanding Sam sees in Jack’s eyes.

 

“You are so smart, are you?” Sam begins to rub Jack’s belly being mindful not to add strain to Jack’s injured leg. The dog makes some very happy noises and Sam laughs. In that moment he feels less lonely and knows he has done the right thing in keeping Jack for company.  He knows that it will never be the same without Dean, but at least he now he is slightly less lonely.  Sam gets off the floor, he pets Jack once and heads towards the door to salt and burn the ghost.

  


 

When he arrives at the cemetery it is completely dark outside, there is a full moon and the late summer air feels a little chilled. The cemetery is completely deserted but he decides to be discrete and park the Impala under some trees.  He steps out of the car and as he closes the door he feels his blood pressure go down, he feels dizzy and has to hold onto the driver side door to take a breather. This is his last case and he wants to finish this today, so there is no way he is backing down because of a dizzy spell. Sam takes a big breath to steady himself and once he can move without difficulty he goes to the trunk of the Impala and pulls out a gallon of gasoline, a shovel, salt, a lighter, and a shotgun loaded with salt rocks.  Sam closes the trunk and goes in search of Eugene Black’s grave.

It takes Sam fifteen minutes of searching before he finds the grave. He sets the tools down except for the shovel and begins to dig. Thirty minutes pass and he feels tire, it usually doesn’t take so long when he did this with Dean. But without Dean, it takes Sam an hour and fifteen minutes to get to the coffin. It is not until he has opened the coffin, stepped out of the grave and pours the salt on the bones, that he starts seeing movement from the corner of his eyes. He knows that the spirit of Eugene is there and is going to do everything in his power to stop Sam from burning his bones.

Sam quickly goes for his shotgun, which is lying with the rest of his stuff. He points the gun at air, and before he registers what is happening he is on the floor. Eugene gets him from the back, pushes him so hard that Sam’s right leg is caught in a nearby bush, and unfortunately upon closer examination he realizes that a big piece of wood has stabbed him and cut skin just below the knee.  He doesn’t believe that it is too deep, so he proceeds to take the branch off, but apparently is deep enough to start oozing out a lot of blood. At that movement he starts getting horrible cramps in his stomach, which are increasing by each passing moment. But Sam can’t think about that now, there is a madden spirit that needs to be put to rest.

He gets up as quickly as his injured leg allows him and goes for the shot gun. When Sam looks up he sees Eugene in front of him ready to launch himself at Sam once again. This time, Sam has time to react and shoots him with the rock salt. The spirit dissipates and Sam quickly grabs the fuel and dumps it atop the bones and lights them up. The spirit shows up once more but this time burning similarly consumed by fire as the bones burning in his grave.

Sam begins breathing a little easier when he realizes that the job is done. But as soon as he moves away from the grave the cramps in his stomach intensify to a level that is painful beyond imaginable, the pain from his oozing and wounded leg pales in comparison. Sam can barely move and the pain brings him to his knees as he wraps one arm around his stomach and the other digs itself into the dirt. Sam has no idea what is causing him pain, but he does know that if he doesn’t move quickly and gets help, something really bad is going to happen, mainly he fears that he won’t survive the night.

He attempts to get up once more, and he feels like he's being tortured. He is exhausted from the digging, is getting dizzy from the loss of blood and the stomach cramps feel like being stabbed repeatedly with no signs of ever stopping. Somehow Sam manages to make it back to the Impala, his pain prevents him from compiling all his tools, and he just hopes that the grave burning doesn’t get linked back to him once they were found.  Sam knows that he can’t go to a hospital, they would ask too many questions and he just isn’t in the state of mind to create a plausible story that can explain his injuries. He is close to the vet’s office and without much thought he heads there, thinking that at least there he would find strong enough drugs to dull the pain.

Because of the intense pain, he is not as quiet breaking in as he would have liked and he just hopes that he has not set off any alarms. He moves as quickly as he can and goes in the first office he sees and almost trips over a cage that is seated by the side of the door, he lets out a small hiss and curses. Once in the office he starts looking around in the medicine cabinet. He reads off the labels and knocks some of the small vials off the shelf as he tries to balance his body.

Amelia, who is working late that night hears a noise coming from the down the hallway. She is surprised at first and figures that the noise is caused by the wind. Or maybe is one of the animals that needed to stay in the office to be monitor after a surgery that had gotten loose.  But the noise comes again. This time it is much louder and it is followed with what sounds like a voice. Having a father and having been married to an army man she knows how to defend herself. She looks for the gun that she keeps hidden in her desk and goes to investigate. She moves as quietly as she can and as quietly has her adrenaline levels allow her.

She stands just outside the door, gun in the air and points it at the man in front of her. “Stop right there or I’m going to shot,” she practically screams at the robber as she pulls the safety on the gun.

Sam did not think there was anyone in the office so he is very surprise when he hears a voice behind him. He curses internally and turns slowly in order to face the person behind the voice. “Please I just need…. Ahhhhhhhh.” Sam is cut short by another sharp pain from his stomach.

“Sam?” Amelia realizes that this is the guy from yesterday who came in with the Bernese mountain dog, but why is he in her office robbing her medicine cabinet. Her train of thoughts are caught short when she notices Sam wrap both his hands around his middle and sees him drop to the floor. She wants to panic really bad especially when she notices that he is also bleeding.

“Sam was going on? We need to get you to a hospital, you’re bleeding,” says Amelia over the whines and screams coming from the man in front of her. She puts her gun down and rushes over to Sam’s side.

Sam barely registers the voice, but as soon as what Amelia has said sinks in he quickly replies, “No, no hospital… I can’t. Help me. Please.” His sentences are all chopped up and Sam hardly knows what he is asking from this complete stranger.

Amelia, in the other hand is handling things quite well.  She seems to understand that for some unknown reasons Sam can’t go to a hospital. He is probably wanted by the police, great. But she also doesn’t have the heart to just let him die in the floor of her office. So she moves quickly.  “Sam come on get up let’s move you to the table.”

“I can’t. Can’t move, is my stomach. It hurts,” is all that Sam manages to say before another sharp pain hits him and he lets out a loud scream.

Amelia doesn’t know what is going on, all she does knows is that she needs to help Sam calm down in order to figure out what is wrong with is abdomen and get close enough to his leg to stop the bleeding. “Sam I know it hurts,” she starts “but I need you to try to get off the floor and into the table so that I can look at yours abdomen, okay?” In an attempt to sooth him, she tells him “I need you to breathe with me okay, nice and slow.” Sam does as he is told.

Sam tries to calm down and begins breathing with Amelia, and as soon as he does this he feels the pain subside a bit. He keeps taking deep breaths and letting them out.

“That’s very good Sam, know let’s try to get you up okay?” Amelia waits for an acknowledgement and as soon as Sam nods, she begins to pull him to his feet.

Sam walks slowly with Amelia holding him up, and moves towards the table set in the middle of the room. He sits down, and Amelia lets him go. A minute later she comes back with a blanket and a pillow.  “I sometimes have to sleep in the office,” she offers in an attempt to explain why she has a pillow and a blanket in her office. Amelia slowly helps him lay down in the makeshift bed.

“How are you feeling?” Amelia asks.

“Better, my stomach doesn’t hurt as much,” Sam says in response.

Amelia looks at Sam and figures that she should probably start working on the leg, if the stomach has stop being the major source of the pain.  “Sam I’m going to look at your leg okay. Is bleeding a lot and if I leave it unattended for too long the wound can get infected.”

Sam is still controlling his breathing and he seems to have entered a sort of trance, so Amelia lets him be and moves to one of the cabinets and pulls out disinfecting products, bandages, a needle and thread and a pair of scissors.  Amelia moves closer to Sam’s leg and rips the jeans to expose the injured area, and gasps at the sight of the wound. Sam’s skin is looking very pale, and she can now see the reason behind it. The wound is quite horrific. But her surprised gasped is short lived, and she moves as quickly as she can to get the wound cleaned and stitched, and she internally prays that the loss of blood is not too great to make Sam go unconscious.

It takes Amelia fifteen minutes to tend to the leg. “Hey Sam, are you still with me?” Amelia asks, as she comes closer to where Sam has laid his head on top of the pillow.

Sam looks at Amelia and blinks at her, and then takes in his surroundings. For the last fifteen minutes or so he has moved to his own world in his head numbed by the pain he has been suffering for the past hour. Sam blinks at her one more time to clear his vision and tells her, “Yeah I’m okay. Thank you.” He makes a move to stand, but a hand stops him and pulls him back down to the makeshift bed.

“Sam don’t move, I could look at your stomach if you want and see what was causing you all that pain. If it is a puncture pancreas you need to go the hospital, I’m afraid I’m not qualified to deal with that sort of medical condition.” Amelia does not wait for a response and goes to set up the ultrasound machine that is stationed on the furthest corner of the room. She won’t be able to treat a punctured pancreas, but she could at least identify it.

Sam is kind of scared to find out what is going on in his abdomen. For the last couple of weeks he has been feeling what he thought to be cramps so he doesn’t imagine it to be a puncture pancreas or his health should be far worse.  But if it isn’t that, his mind is only providing worse case scenarios such as some sort of cancer. Cancer would also explain the swelling in his stomach that is sort of firm as oppose to being loose how it normally gets from excess fat.

“Okay, this is a ultrasound machine,” Amelia begins as she points to the machine pulled up next to Sam. “I need you to pull up your shirt and lower your pants a little.” She waits until Sam complies and then continues.

“I need to place some of this gel in your abdomen and is going to be cold at first. And then I’m going to look for any abnormalities.” Amelia looks at Sam assessing for levels of discomfort or pain as well as an acknowledgement, Sam simply nods.  Amelia assumes the he is nervous and probably still in shock from the loss of blood and the intense pain he demonstrated having from his stomach.

Amelia places a generous amount of the gel on the top of Sam’s stomach and moves the sonogram wand around to begin her search. She usually uses the ultrasound machine on her animal patients, but she knows enough of the human anatomy to identify each major organ, and she had done her medical residency attending to human patients before she changed her course and became a veterinarian.

Amelia is having some difficulties adjusting the images at first, because she thinks she saw something which makes her question her qualifications to be looking at Sam’s stomach in the first place. But she moves the wand again to gain a better angle and a better picture, and the next thing she is aware is that the wand landed on the floor and Sam is speaking to her in a frighten voice.

Sam looks at Amelia with panicked eyes and he can’t shake the feeling that something really wrong is going on. Amelia has a look on her face as if she has seen a ghost, and he would know. And the way that she has dropped the ultrasound wand like she has been burn only intensifies his fears.

“Amelia what’s wrong? Oh my god, I’m dying aren’t I?” Sam was becoming hysterical, he laughs a little and thinks to himself that out all the things he has seen, fought and went through, he would die from a conventional, good old natural cause.

The tone in Sam’s voice quickly snaps her off her _‘that can’t be’_ state of mind. She picks up the wand once more, cleans it off, and applies more gel to Sam’s stomach and without so much as looking in the direction of her now patient, she proceeds to place the wand in Sam’s middle.  Then there it is again, loudly this time.

“What is that?” Sam asks Amelia not even daring to entertain the idea that is currently running through his head.

Amelia ignores Sam in an attempt to investigate further. At this point she is more curious than anything else. The sound radiating from Sam’s stomach truly sounds like a heartbeat and as Amelia moves the wand from left to right, on her little screen appears the most miraculous image she has ever seen. And it isn’t that she is looking at a picture of any baby, but a baby that is growing inside the body of a male. Amelia’s unoccupied hand, almost out of its own accord, moves to cover her mouth as she begins to lose her breath.  

Okay, Sam’s brain is in overdrive. Something seriously wrong is going on, his stomach is generating sounds that should not be physically possible, and the ultrasound machine is showing an image that has to be nothing more than a computing error, because there is just no way that is what he thinks he is.

“Amelia, what is that? Please, tell me that’s not…”Sam can’t even say the word baby, because as soon as he sees Amelia’s face staring back at him wide eyed, he knows, and that is just too much to handle for one day. His body gives out, and Sam gladly welcomes the darkness than face the alternative.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had no beta, so again I apologize for all the errors. I also took some liberties and altered some of the cannon scenes and the interaction with some of the characters.
> 
> All images on this fiction came from Google, I merely used Photoshop to enhance them.


	3. Hope

 

Amelia still can’t believe what she has seen. She is still looking at Sam’s stomach when he suddenly passes out. Amelia can’t be more grateful because she needs a moment to think and process the implications of this discovery. To convince herself that her eyes are not failing her, she has to take several pictures of the baby using the ultrasound machine. She takes ten different shots and all are saying the same thing, the man in front of her is pregnant. She takes them all from the machine and looks at them for forty five minutes, before she is convinced that there is no denying that Sam is carrying a baby. A male, with all male parts, is carrying a baby. And by the looks of the pictures he is very far along.  She has to sit down for she fears that she too would pass out. Out of nervous habit she sits down in a chair close to Sam’s makeshift bed and begins to bite off her nails.

When Sam wakes up he is disoriented, but the pain in his stomach has stop completely and he is feeling much better. He doesn’t open his eyes and his first thoughts is that he has fallen asleep in his motel room after working the case, which tends to happen starting the last couple of months. Then he feels movement and he slowly opens his eyes to find Amelia staring holes into his stomach. That’s when everything clicks in his head and he remembers the reason he had passed out. He begins to hyperventilate.

Amelia is glad to see Sam awake, he had been out for more than three hours, but she couldn’t bring herself to leave his sight. She notices when Sam’s brain made the connection to the events that transcribed just before he fainted, and Sam’s face completely changes once he notices his surroundings.  Amelia notices that he begins to hyperventilate and she quickly stands up and moves towards Sam to attempt and calm him down.

“Sam, I need you to calm down. Breathe okay, just like before.” Amelia begins her coaching by demonstrating that he should be taking deep breathes and letting them out. “That’s it Sam, calm down. I believe that I have found the source of your discomfort in your abdomen and why you had the intense pains earlier,” Amelia says. “Just keep breathing Sam, is not good for the baby to become stressed.” It feels really weird to Amelia having said those words, and saying them out loud seems to make matters real, which has an effect on Sam as his emotions change while Amelia speaks.

Sam hears the word baby and he wants to scream at her and call her a liar and unfit to be diagnosing anything that isn’t an animal, but he stops himself remembering that he too had heard the heartbeat and he had seen the image in the ultrasound machine. Sam is so confuse, because men do not get pregnant and it is as simple as that, or at least it used to be as simple as that.  

Amelia pauses in order to give Sam some time to get use to the idea that he is pregnant; she has had the last couple of hours to ponder upon the idea. She then continues by saying, “I believe that your body wanted to go into premature labor before and the intense pains you were feeling were contractions. I assume it all started because of all the stress that your body was handling at once, and the loss of blood from your wound as well as the pain from it, send you into shock at some point, which didn’t help matters in the least.”

Sam’s head is spinning. “You know this is crazy right? I can’t possibly be pregnant,” he says to Amelia wanting nothing more than a way out of this impossible situation.

“I don’t know how Sam, but you are very much pregnant and close to the third trimester by the looks of it, but I couldn’t be one hundred percent sure. Somehow your internal organs were moved around to make room for a placenta and for a baby to grow in it.” Amelia replies as she turns her back to Sam and moves towards her desk to take the pictures that she had taken earlier from the ultrasound machine. She looks at the pile of sonogram images for a couple of seconds, as if to make sure that this whole thing is indeed happening, then she turns around and steps closer to Sam. Amelia remains staring at him as she hands him the small pile of images.

Sam reaches out a hand, and it takes all his self-control to keep his hands from shaking.  He looks at the first image and he gasps out loud and he grips the images tighter. He stares at the images one by one, studying them carefully.

Sam is unaware of it, but Amelia sees as a single tear fall from Sam’s face as he looks at the pictures of his unborn child.

Sam is amazed and scared shitless. He always wanted a family he just never pictured that it would be like this, but then again when has his life ever been normal? “I’m going to have a baby.  This is my baby,” he whispers in awe barely loud enough for Amelia to hear.  The images reveal the shape of the baby, one can see the little head, and the baby’s little face profile, legs and hands.

Sam forces his brain to work, and he begins searching for any information that can explain why he is now pregnant, he then remembers what Amelia said. He is near his third trimester, and he has been pregnant for around six months without knowing. And then it hits him like a punch to the gut. If the baby was conceived and not implanted by some spell, six months ago, in the last six months Sam had only had sex with one individual.

“Dean.” Sam says out loud and Amelia is surprise to hear Sam speak, because a long moment seems to have passed since Sam started looking through pictures and became consumed by his own thoughts.   _‘Who is Dean?’_ she thinks to herself and stops from asking as she hears Sam continue.

“Oh my god, its Dean’s,” Sam thinks out loud. Sam looks up at Amelia, and is instantly thankful that she doesn’t ask who Dean is, because Sam couldn’t talk about him just now. And he thinks that it wouldn’t go very well if by the end of the night she discovers the first male pregnancy case and to top it all off, it becomes known that it was conceived from an incestuous relationship with his older brother.

At this point Sam is exhausted both physically and mentally. His expression and body language must have communicated just that because Amelia looks at her watch and then she speaks.

“Sam, how about if I take you home? It’s close to five am, and I think we can both use some rest.” Says Amelia then she moves closer to help Sam up from the makeshift bed where he is still laying.

Sam nods at Amelia, and says “Yeah, I’d appreciate that. Thanks. For everything you know.” She smiles at him, but she doesn’t get to say anything because Sam continues, “I drove here. But I can come back for my car tomorrow.” He remembers the damage he had done to door while breaking into the office and says to Amelia, “I’m sorry about tonight…I’ll pay for the damages to your door and…” Sam looks down at the floor and notices a pile of medicines and adds, “and for the medicine I seemed to have taken with me on my way to the floor earlier.”

She had almost forgotten that Sam had broken into her office, but she couldn’t charge him for any damages. I mean how many people can say that they have seen a male pregnant. She also considers that Sam is probably going to need all the money he can get, to take care of the child. “Save it, I mean because of you I witness a miracle today, something that seems so unbelievable yet you're living proof of it.”

Sam nods and then he remembers, “I’m going to have to ask you for another favor. What you witnessed today, you can’t tell anyone. Please.” Sam gives her a desperate and pleading look.

Amelia looks bewildered for a moment, because it didn’t even occur to her tell on Sam. “Of course. I wouldn’t.” She looks at Sam straight in the eyes and sees the plea plastered in his face and she says more firmly, “I won’t tell anyone Sam.” She once again moves to help Sam stand and in the process help relieve some of the weight off his injured leg.

Sam is so relied when he hears Amelia tell him that she would keep his secret. And gladly takes the offered help to stand up and take him back to the motel.

“Thanks,” he tells her. They walked to Amelia’s car in silence, and ride back to the motel in silence. Any conversation or attempt of small talk to fill in the silence would just pale in comparison to the events that transcribed today, not to mention that the sun is almost out and they both had yet to see their beds.

They arrive at the motel and Sam steps out. Before he backs away Amelia say, “Sam please call me, okay? If you need anything just call.”

Sam nods and thanks Amelia once more, and then he sees her drive off the motel parking lot. Sam walks to his room and thanks any higher power out there that he had not lost his keys when he had been thrown around and didn’t have to break and entering in a hotel he would have to be staying for a while. And all he wants to do now is to drop into bed and sleep for hours.

Sam walks in the room and is surprise by movement and low whimpering and he just remembers that he has a dog in the room. As Sam turns on the lights, Jack walks up to Sam and starts rubbing his head close to the injuring in Sam’s leg. “Hey Jack, I’m okay is not that bad. Sorry I took so long.” Sam moves away from the dog and sits on the bed. He moves slowly, but he unbuckles his pants and takes them off. He takes off his shirt and stays in his undershirt and boxers and scoots over, lifts the covers and lays down.  Jack stands close to the bed, as if sensing that something is wrong. Sam pats the bed and motions for Jack to get on and lay next to Sam, which he quickly complies. He had some trouble getting on the bed because of his insured leg, but Sam quickly helps him up. Jack looks at Sam for a moment once on the bed and then lays his head on the mattress. Sam then looks over to his stomach and lays a hand on it and thinks about the moment that must have made this possible, his and Dean’s baby possible. Sam remembers the night six months ago in a motel room in Minnesota.

 

  


_Flashback_

He and Dean are arguing because Sam has been withholding the fact that he began seeing Lucifer the moment that the walls on his head are removed. Sam is screaming at Dean that he has a handle on the whole situation and that Dean shouldn’t concern himself with him. And of course Sam’s thoughts of reasoning don’t go well with Dean and they both exploded into a screaming match. At one side Dean screams that he has been taking care of Sam since he was four months old and that he damn well could do so now. While Sam is at his corner saying that he is in an adult, and could very much take care of himself.

Both brothers are standing near the table in their motel room.

“Sam, I know that you can take care of yourself, but this doesn’t affect only you. I need to know that you have my back when we are on a hunt, and not confused on what is real or not because of these hallucinations or whatever.” Dean says exasperated trying to make Sam understand.

“Dude, you know I’ll always have your back” Says Sam. “I can handle it.” Sam continues although some uncertainty slips through.

“No Sam you can’t. “ Dean says after hearing the doubt in Sam’s voice. “You had no right to withhold that information. We’re bothers, how am I supposed to…” _protect you_ , Dean wanted to say. But he realizes it in time and that if he would have said it out loud Sam would just become angrier. Frankly, Dean is scared for his brother, lately it feels that everything goes wrong, their relationship has been rocky and he doesn’t know what to do to make his brother better.

Sam sighs and moves closer to Dean until he is only a few feet away. He didn’t want to tell Dean about Lucifer for this exact reason. He doesn’t want Dean to worry about him so much, and Sam already sees a hint of fear in Dean’s expression. “I know Dean, okay. I’m sorry. I just… didn’t want you to worry, and I thought I had a handle on it.” Sam says pleading with his brother.

Dean looks at Sam and nods to show understanding. “Just, just don’t do that shit again, hide stuff from me.”

Sam nods as a response and for a minute they look at each other searching for reassurance that they were okay. Sam has no idea what possess him but without thought he closes the gap between them, he locks eyes with Dean, and then his eyes dart to Dean’s lips. Dean definitely did not see it coming because he has no time to react as Sam inches closer to his face and touch his lips with his own.

Sam tells himself that he just wants to make sure that this moment is real, that Dean is real. He wants the reassurance that they are okay, that they are going to be okay.

Dean doesn’t kiss back and Sam breaks the kiss after only a few moments and  he looks at Dean. Sam really thinks that Dean is going to beat him to the point of death. But upon closer observation, he sees a bewildered and a confused look on Dean’s face as oppose to anger. Mere seconds pass and before Sam has a chance to evaluate what he has done or why Dean is not pointing a gun at him, Dean is on him, kissing him back.

Sam lets Dean control the kiss, because he realizes that he is really enjoying it and he doesn’t want to do anything that would make Dean stop. Dean grabs Sam by his shirt around his chest and pushes Sam to the wall. _‘Possessive bastard,’_ Sam thinks internally.  But Sam figures out that he doesn’t mind it at all. Both brothers are only half aware of what they are doing and the implications, but at that moment they pass up the ability to think in favor of the raw passion that possesses them both. They kiss passionately, breathlessly, lovingly, and one thing leads to another, until they are both naked in one bed.

Sam can’t pinpoint the moment that he develops an attraction for his brother. Up until this moment Sam had never play with the possibility that he would ever end up in bed with his brother. Sure he finds Dean attractive, anyone with eyes can see that Dean is gorgeous, but Sam is not just anyone. Dean is his brother for crying out loud.

However, Sam always knew that he loved Dean more than any brother should, as more than just a brother. Sam loves him as his soul mate; as the only person that he could go to for help, as the only person that would ever know him better than he knows himself, as the only person whose betrayal would hurt him to no end, and as the only person that would love him unconditionally despite all the screw ups he has been responsible for throughout the years. And in the moment he kisses Dean and makes love with him, Sam realizes that it feels right and that he would never love another the way he loves Dean; the only constant that he has ever had in his life. Sam rationalizes that it only makes sense that after all they have been through, the time they have spent together, the sacrifices that they have made for each other can only lead to this moment. Two people who love each other for all their lives finally consummating their connection.  Plus they are Winchesters, when have they ever been normal.

The morning after, Sam sees the regret in Dean’s expression and body language. Dean wakes up and without looking at Sam, moves out of the bed, looks for some clothes in his duffel bag and then he locks himself in the bathroom for over an hour. Sam has to fight hard to hold onto the tears that are threatening to fall has be feels the hurt from Dean’s sudden rejection. The most important and revealing night of his life is now only a memory, because he knows Dean. And Sam knows that he is going to pretend that nothing has happen so that nothing needs to change.

Dean can’t move fast enough to get away from Sam. What he did is unforgivable. Is true that Sam had started kissing him, but he shouldn’t have kissed him back and he definitely did not have to move things so far as to fuck his brother. No, not fuck, make love to Sam because Dean loves Sam beyond reason or doubt, but he couldn’t be what Sam wanted of him. _‘What did Sam want?’_ he thought to himself.

Dean is confuse beyond believe. He doesn’t know how to explain what happened last night. He would have never touched his little brother, but when Sam kissed him, it was as if electricity had passed between them and he got the sudden need to reciprocate. And as Dean kissed him and made love to Sam, it is as if all logic flew out the window and nothing in the world had ever been right until he had Sam lying just beneath him. In that moment he realized the meaning of joining as one. Dean always thought that that only happened in movies, but being with Sam, it was like the feeling of two souls joining to the point of becoming whole. In all his years as a Casanova he never wanted someone so bad, so desperately, to the point that he would never be fully satisfy if he were with anyone but Sam. Dean knows that all this is illogical and that this doesn’t happen to people in real life. And despite never having a desire to be with Sam the moment they kissed changed everything.  

A huge part of Dean is begging him to explore this new development in their relationship, but the other part screams that Sam is his brother and they could never do this again. Dean knows that if things continue along in the path they took last night he would screw up his little brother’s life. He needs to stop this thing between them before it all goes any further. Dean knows that Sam wants a family, a normal life away from hunting, and he could never have that with Dean. Not to mention that no society would accept the relationship between two brothers.  Dean would just have to control his emotions and love Sam in no other way but as his brother because any way else would just screw up their already delicate relationship. It is the only thing that he could offer. Dean doesn’t hold down his tears as he steps into the shower, and washes all traces of last night.

For the three months before Dean disappears with Dick and Castiel, that night had never happened. Every time Sam tried to bring up the topic, Dean alternated his version by telling Sam that he didn’t remember, that it never happened, that he didn’t want to talk about it, that he was sorry or to just drop the subject. Dean was in complete denial, so they just kept hunting as if nothing had happened. Each brother did remember, but denial can be a powerful thing.

_End of flashback_

 

Sam is laying in his motel bed and he begins to sob because despite all of their denial, the product of their love is growing in Sam’s belly. Sam could not deny that he misses Dean immensely, but now he has to think about his baby. A new wave of tears came as he realizes that his son or daughter would probably never meet their other father. Sam begins to cry uncontrollably and Jack who is next to him moves closer to Sam, and tries to sooth him in his own way. Sam cries himself to sleep.


	4. A New Friend

 

Sam wakes up, feeling as if he had not slept at all. He still feels exhausted and extremely sore, but when he notices the clock on the wall he realizes that he had been asleep for ten hours.  Sam decides to get up, get in the shower and then get something to eat.  He hears whimpering near the door and realizes that he had been neglecting Jack.  Poor Jack probably hasn’t eaten much of anything since last night and hasn’t been taken outside.  Sam swung his legs over the bed and realized that his injured leg isn’t giving him much trouble, but he does feel dizzy probably from dehydration and because of the lack of food in his system.

Sam picks up the food bowl near Jack’s bed and fills it with Kibbles and then moves for the other bowl and fills it with water from the bathroom sink.  He figures that he should take a shower, get dress, pay for a couple more days at the motel and then take Jack for a walk on his way to the diner to pick up food. He smiles to himself amuse to the realization of why he was eating so much and craving the weirdest of food at odd hours of the day, and why he couldn’t keep certain things down or was always tire despite the days he had plenty of rest.  For six months Sam had been pregnant and he didn’t know, but it isn’t as if he is showing. Aside from the small pouch on his stomach, which could pass as some weight gain, he doesn’t look very different. The most plausible reason for why he isn’t any bigger despite how far along he is, is that his tall frame is distributing the weight and he has enough room to accommodate the baby without having to stretch so much to do so.

Soon enough Sam is showered and dressed, and is now putting Jack’s collar, he received slobbery kisses for his efforts. On his way to the door, Sam hears a knock and Jack moves toward the door but Sam stops him by pulling on his collar. His hunter senses kick in and Sam realizes that he had forgotten to touch up the salt lines in the windows and door, so he moves quietly through the room looking for a weapon to hide behind his back. He is grateful that Jack remains silent throughout the whole ordeal.

Sam moves towards the door and peaks through the hole and notices that is Amelia on the other side. Sam quickly hides the knife in the back of his pants and opens the door.

“Amelia, what are you doing here?”  Sam is surprise to see her there. He thought that shortly after last night she had has had enough of the freak show that would last her a life.

Amelia smiles at Sam’s obvious surprised face and say, “I figured that you probably had not eaten much since last night, so I came to take you out for an early dinner and talk a little. I could take you back to your car afterwards, so you don’t have to pay for a cab.”

He is about to protest and come up with some excuse as to why he can’t go out, but his stomach shut him up as it made its presence known and quite loudly.

“Um yeah okay,” he laughs a little embarrassed and then adds, “but I was going to take Jack out for a walk. He has been scooped up here all day.”

“Oh you named you him Jack.”  Amelia notices the dog moving around Sam’s good leg. “Hi there Jack, how is that leg feeling, huh?” She says when she is crunched down in front of the dog and pets him.

Amelia continues petting Jack and looks up at Sam and offers, “We can take him with us and when we go pick up your car, I can change the bandages on you both.”

Sam looks at Amelia and begins assessing her. I mean surely no one is that nice to a complete stranger. Mind you, a stranger that had made a very bad first impression when he had first brought in Jack to her office, what seems like eons ago, but had only been three days. And surely his impression hadn’t gotten any better, when she caught Sam trying to steal from her medicine cabinet. ‘Why is she helping me?’ Sam thinks to himself.

Amelia picks up on the uneasiness in Sam’s face expression and body language so she gets up from petting Jack and tries to give Sam some explanation for her behavior.

“Look, I don’t know why, but I want to help you Sam, if you let me. Call it curiosity or call it fate. But I feel like I need to be a part of this, not to mention that I don’t know that many people and you seem like a very interesting person to know.” Amelia smiles at her last words.

Sam returns the smile and he is instantly grateful for the help being offered. Honestly, he doesn’t thinking that he could handle all of these things on his own. He is still grieving for the loss of his brother, and he has had to change his lifestyle because he had stopped hunting which only now seemed more fitting since he is in no condition to continue even if he wanted to. Now he had a dog, and had to think about renting a place and looking for a job.

“I could use a friend,” is Sam’s reply as his smile grows bigger revealing his dimples.

 

They choose a diner around the center of town, one that Amelia insists that no matter what she orders from their menu it always satisfies even the greatest of appetites.  When they order, Amelia excuses herself to go to the restroom, and Sam sees that he has his opportunity. He wasn’t a fool and after years of being a hunter he knows that he can’t just blindingly trust someone knowing the sort of evil that seems to follow him around. So he reaches for his pocket and pulls out a small flask, he makes sure that no one around the diner is looking as he pours a bit of holy water in Amelia’s glass sitting across the table. When Amelia returns, she drinks from the glass without any hissing, but for good measure, Sam throws in a Cristo and covers it up with a cough. Amelia is clean, or at least she isn’t a demon.

They leave Jack tied on the side of the diner as both Sam and Amelia eat their meals. Amelia talks about her late husband and how he had died in duty while fighting in Iran. She mentions that she had moved into town recently in an attempt to start fresh, but it is still difficult thinking about all she had lost. She is roughly about the same age as Sam, and when she lost her husband she lost the opportunity to have children and a family. Or at least she hasn’t found anyone else that would fill her void.

Amelia is pouring out her life story to Sam, and when she asks him about his life, he felt compelled to tell her the whole truth.  Sam told her about losing his mother in a fire at six months old, and the problems he had with his father. He talked about his brother a lot and talked about the family business; saving people, hunting things. Amelia takes the news about the supernatural quite well and only shows sign of being surprise for a few moments before she explains that after last night, she now believes anything is possible. When she asks Sam where his family is, Sam frowns.

With a small voice he looks down at his lab and replies, “I’m all that’s left.” Sam pauses for a moment and then adds, “Hunting, life as a hunter has required a lot of sacrifice. Losing Dean was the last straw.” Sam looks up at her and says, “That life has taken everything from me, I just can’t do it anymore.” Sam sees sympathy reflected in Amelia’s eyes.

Amelia frowns at Sam’s words and feels guilty for having asked. But she tries to let Sam know that she understands. “I know is not the same, but I understand how it feels to be missing a big part of your heart. And hey at least now you are not all by yourself.” She smiles a little and her eyes move to look in the direction of Sam’s stomach.

Sam smiles at the realization that he really isn’t alone. He too looks down at his stomach and as he continues to smile he rubs circles on the little bulge.

And then he hears Amelia add, “And you have Jack.”

Sam actually laughs at that as he looks up to catch the amused face in front of him. He is having a baby and to top it all off he has a dog and everything, and by the looks of it a new friend as well. The weight of losing Dean doesn’t seem too big to bear anymore, for he now has a new reason to live. He is carrying a piece of the greatest love of his life and he would cherish and love him or her for the rest of his life.

His smiles widen as he says, “And I guess I can count on you too, right?”

“Absolutely,” Amelia smiles at that.

They finish eating and Amelia goes for the check. Sam immediately stops her and insists a million times that it is the least he can do for all the help she has provided. Amelia finally gives up on her attempts and once the bill is paid they leave to go to her office.

Amelia had to cancel all of her appointments for the day because she was too tired to work given last night’s events so it is the first time in that day that she enters the office. As soon as she turns on all the light she looks to Sam and says, “Why don’t you wait inside the office so I can take a look at your leg and then I’ll check Jack over. I’ll find some toys for Jack to entertain himself.”

Sam nods and does as he is asked, and sees Jack following his every move. When he walks in the office he was in last night he is relieved to notice that it had been cleaned, probably sometime this morning.  He sits atop the table in the middle of the room and lifts up the right side of his pants to allow Amelia access the wound. He waits patiently and notices a pile of sonogram pictures on Amelia’s desk and realizes that they are the pictures of his baby, which he must have forgotten to take last night.

Amelia walks in and notices Sam looking at the sonogram pictures. “I guess you must have forgotten those yesterday.”

Sam turns towards the voice and says, “Yeah. Is amazing isn’t it, that this little person is growing inside of me.”

“You know, you’re lucky. I never had a chance to start a family with my husband.”  Amelia says with a small frown.

Sam frowns too because if he was truly lucky, Dean would be here to enjoy the life that now grows in him. But he says, “Yeah I know.” Because despite it all at least he isn’t alone. He puts the pictures in his pockets and moves again to sit on the table.

Amelia moves with him, and puts on some gloves and she deposits the rest of the tools she is going to use on the table next to Sam. Sam rearranges his pants and Amelia begins unwrapping the bandages and cleaning the wounds.  

“Is looking better, there doesn’t seem to be any signs of an infection. It stills looks swollen but give it a couple of days and it will go down. How is the pain?“ Amelia asks as she looks up from the wound.

“Is bearable and it definitely feels better than last night, but I’ve had worse. “ He shrugged while he looks at her.

She nods and says, “Good, because I don’t want to give you anything too strong because of the baby.” She finishes putting the bandages on Sam’s leg and lowers his pants and pats him on his good leg letting him know that she is done.

Sam gets up from the table and Amelia makes a move towards Jack. Without any resistant, except a small whine, Jack lets Amelia picks him up and set him on the table.

Amelia starts working on Jack’s leg and begins to speak to Sam. “Have you given it much thought to how you are going to have the baby and take care of him or her?”

“Honestly, I have no idea. I haven’t had much time to think about it, or do research to see how it happened in the first place. But the only explanation I see is that something supernatural is affecting me. But I have walked into enough devil’s trap in the last six months and drank plenty of holy water and nothing has happen, so at least I know is nothing demonic growing inside of me.”

Amelia shuttered at the thought of a demonic baby. ”But if you had to guess as to the cause?”

Sam thinks, “It could be some kind of bewitchment; a spell of sorts. But I haven’t run into any witches in the past six months, and I already ruled out demons. The only plausible explanation is divine intervention; angels or God himself. Which wouldn’t make much sense; they have never been too fond of me.” Sam remembers the drinking blood period and saying yes to Lucifer as really good examples as to why it couldn’t possibly be divine intervention, but nothing else is strong enough to create life.

Amelia wants to ask what Sam means by that, but she assumes that it has to do something with hunting and the supernatural world, and she has had enough of that in the last two days to last her a lifetime.  Instead, she brings out the next issue that needs to be addressed. “Either way if the baby is or is not human, how are you going to deliver it? Is not like you have the right parts. So you would probably need a C-section. I’m afraid that you are going to have tell someone else who is qualified to do just that.” Amelia sees the fear in Sam’s face as he speaks.

“Amelia, I can’t tell anyone about this baby. I mean something like this is not supposed to happen. I’ll cut it out myself if I have to, but I can’t risk anyone else finding out.” Sam is panicking internally; he couldn’t trust anyone with his current condition. Sam saw understanding in Amelia’s expression. A thought occurred to him, “I know is lot to ask, but couldn’t you do the procedure when the time come.”

“Sam, I’m a vet. I haven’t had a human patient in years, let alone cut one open. You need a doctor that can look after you and the baby and someone who knows how to fully read and understand the sonograms of a baby.” Amelia sees the desperate and pleading look in Sam’s face. She sighs and then adds, “I suppose I still have three months to relearn the basic. Lucky for you I have a friend who is an Obstetrician, and she could probably guide me in how to go about the checkups that you would need and give me some prenatal vitamins.”

Sam smiles with triumph. And Amelia smiles back, she has no idea to what she just agreed to, but she knows deep down that she needs to see this whole thing through. Plus Sam is hot and who can really resist that face.

“Thank you, you have no idea what this means to me. I feel like after everything, I can actually begin to breathe.” Sam says while he launches himself at the smaller woman in front of him.  Amelia lets out a surprised gasp and then a small laugh, bemused by Sam’s actions.

“Yeah, is no problem. I guess I can make this sort of like a personal challenge and hopefully I learn enough within the next couple of weeks to determine the health of the baby and hopefully the sex if you are interested.” Amelia says as she slowly parts from Sam’s embrace.

Sam couldn’t believe his luck. Amelia is going above and beyond to help him and his baby, and he can’t be more grateful.

“Amelia, I can’t thank you enough for what you are doing for me and the baby. I mean I’m a complete stranger and you don’t owe me anything.” Sam says to her.

“Who says I’m doing this for you.” She smiles and winks at him. “I’m doing it for that unfortunate child of yours that has a father that would cut them open without proper medical assistant, can’t really allow that when I can help. Plus, my curiosity is at its peak, I want to see this through.” Her smile grows wider and she says. “I kind of like you Sam, you’re a good guy.”

 

So for the next couple of weeks Amelia learns as much as she can about how to be an Obstetrician and hopes that it is enough to help Sam with his pregnancy. Meanwhile, Sam’s belly has grown a couple of inches as he improves his diet and gives into many of his cravings. His leg is back to normal and so is Jack’s. He has found a small one bedroom apartment conveniently close to Amelia’s office. They also accept pets, which means that he can stop being cautious about the landlord finding out he has Jack.  In the meanwhile, Sam and Amelia have become really good friends and would see each other several times a week.

Three weeks after they meet, Amelia starts developing feelings for Sam. Sam really likes Amelia, they are very similar after all, but he doesn’t want to complicate things. It is hard enough dealing with the fact that he is having an incestuous baby with his big brother, and he just can’t risk losing the only friend he has if they dated and things end up sour. He needs all the support that he can get, so they decide to just remain friends. Plus, having this baby is a constant reminder of Dean, and Sam isn’t ready to move on.

Sam is running out of cash, so he begins the search for a job doing something that doesn’t require too much heavy lifting or strenuous exercise.  He notices a newspaper ad for a professor’s aid position at the history department at Kansas State University, which would pay him biweekly and would allow him to take up to three courses at a time without charge.  The pay isn’t great but it would be enough to help him keep a roof under his head and food on the table. He immediately jumps at the opportunity, and decides that he would finish off his pre law degree in the summer, and start his post graduate in the fall.

When Sam turns seven months pregnant, Amelia has enough knowledge that she could identify the sex of a baby by looking at a sonogram image, and she could estimate the birth date. So she calls Sam with the good news and schedules for him to come in the office after hours.

By this time she has bought a used, but proper medical chair which she keeps out of view throughout the day and only makes use of it when he has to check Sam over. Amelia finishes off with her last patient for the day and sees Sam already seating in the waiting room. Amelia dismisses the remaining staff members, and tells them that she is closing up. Once the last of staff has left, Amelia approaches Sam.

“Hi Sam, how are you?” says Amelia with a happy tone while she hugs and kisses Sam on the cheeks. “And how are you little one?” Amelia separates herself and puts a hand over Sam’s stomach while she says it.

Sam laughs at Amelia’s antics. “We’re both good. I’ll say the baby is pretty good, seeing as it spent the entire morning playing soccer near my bladder.” Sam smiles fondly. The baby has been moving and now Sam is relieved to know the origin of the cramps or discomfort he used to have.  Sam knows that the prenatal vitamins and his change in diet as proven nothing but beneficial to the baby’s health.

“Oh my gosh Sam, really?” Amelia begins rubbing circles around Sam’s stomach in hopes of catching some movement from the baby, and is quickly rewarded with a powerful kick. Amelia gasps loudly and says in her baby voice. “There you are. You are so strong are you?” Amelia looks up at Sam and smiles. “So are you ready to find out the sex the baby.” Amelia asks Sam and she still holds the smile.

“Absolutely,” is Sam’s reply.

Amelia has Sam sit atop the chair and asks him to pull up his shirt and lower his pants a little to allow for better access to his abdomen. The ultrasound machine is already near the chair so all Amelia has to do is pick up the machine’s wand and the gel. She pours a generous amount onto Sam’s stomach.

“Ready to find out?” asks Amelia.

Sam is more excited than anything else. He has learned about the baby a little over a month ago and he has roughly two and half months to go before he could meet his little miracle. Sam smiles at her. “Yeah, I’m ready.” It seems that Sam is all smiles and happy when he is around Amelia, and even happier when he is talking or thinking about the baby, which is often. And it is something that rarely happened the months following Dean’s disappearance.

Amelia begins spreading the gel with the wand positioned in Sam’s stomach and after only a few moments she has an image of the baby. Amelia finds what she is looking for and points it out to Sam. “You see that there” Amelia says while looking at Sam. Sam looks at the image and nods. “Well unless the baby is being shy,” Amelia is staring quite intently at Sam as she practically squeals out the next words. “Sam you are having a girl.”

“A girl,” Sam repeats in awe.  And he doesn’t know when he started to cry, but the next thing he knows is that his wiping away the happy tears.

Amelia sees Sam crying and after taking several images of the baby girl, she puts the wand to the side. She grabs Sam’s hand and squeezes. “Congratulations Sam.”

Sam looks up at Amelia once the image is removed from the ultrasound machine and smiles through his tears. “This is incredible; I’m having a little girl.” And then it hit him, and he frowns a little. “But I don’t know anything about little girls.”

Amelia lets out a small laugh. “Well lucky for you, you have me.”

Sam is so grateful for how incredible Amelia has been since finding out that he is pregnant. There are just no words to communicate his gratitude, so with a serious face he says “Thank you,” and hopes that Amelia would see the sincerity and that he is thanking her for more than just this check up, but for all that she has done and for being such an amazing friend.

Amelia understands that there is more to Sam’s simple ‘thank you’ and in truth she feels the same way. She had been lonely before Sam came and turned her life completely upside down.  And she knows that although she can’t pursue a romantic relationship with Sam, he has become a great friend and taking care of the little girl is more than a pleasure. With the same level of seriousness she says, “That’s what friends are for.”

 

  


It is now November 15th  2011, Sam is 38 weeks pregnant and Amelia is bringing Sam’s little girl into the world.  For the past week, if Amelia wasn’t at the office she spent her time with Sam.  Amelia has been coaching Sam on the procedure, to make sure that he understands what is going to happen the day of the birth. It is important to go over the details several times, because she isn’t going to have anyone else helping her when she cuts Sam open. Sam knows that having a one woman staff in a nontraditional birth can pose a great deal of danger to both the baby and Sam, but they have everything planned, and he still can’t trust anyone else with the task.

Amelia closes down the office for the day in order to prepare for Sam’s C-section.  She had begged Sam more than once to allow her to bringing in one of her friends who is a nurse to come help during the birth, but Sam refused every time. Amelia knows that she is capable of delivering the baby girl by herself without incident, but she doesn’t want to risk Sam’s or the baby’s life if something does go wrong. But of course, she understands where Sam is coming from when he says that he doesn’t want anyone else finding out. He would make front page in the newspaper and he would be lucky if the government doesn’t upright kidnap him and his daughter to conduct experiments. No, she would do this herself.

She has gotten some anesthetic to numb the area that she is going to cut, but it is not enough to cause Sam to become unconscious during the procedure. She sets all the tools in a table next to the medical chair, and when everything is set up she sits down at her desk and waits for Sam. She had offered to pick him up, but he would have none of that and he insisted that he could still drive and that he wasn’t an invalid. For the last couple of weeks, Amelia can admit to herself that she has been a bit of a mother hen as she tried to have an influence in every move that Sam made. Amelia figures someone had to do it.

Sam is feeling anxious about the arrival of his daughter. He hasn’t been getting any problems from his abdomen and his checkups with Amelia only confirm that the baby is in perfect condition. Sam remained working at the university up until two days ago. He asked for a couple of days claiming that he is having a personal emergency. He doesn’t necessarily want to continue working while his due date approached, but the work itself isn’t so strenuous and he really needs the money. After he found out about the baby, Sam has been getting as many supplies for the baby as his wallet could afford, and now that Amelia is the unofficial, official aunt, she is buying a ton of stuff for the baby.

Sam’s little one bedroom apartment is crowded with the baby things until Amelia suggested an offer that he couldn’t resist. They found a three bedroom house in town that if they divide the rent, the place is quite cheap. The new place is spacious and now the baby can have her own room. Sam and Amelia spent the last two days Sam is off moving their things to their new place, they also hired a man to come do the heavy lifting so Sam wouldn’t get any ideas about lifting given his delicate condition. Both Amelia and Sam haven’t had the time to make the place feel like home, and there are still packed boxes in many of the rooms, but they figure that once the baby is born they could alternate with the unpacking.

Sam is now on the Impala on his way to Amelia’s office. He picked up the nasty habit of biting his fingernails from Amelia, and today he is already made two of his fingers bleed as he chewed on them due to his nervousness. After months, Sam can’t wait to meet his daughter and hold her in his arms. Everything in his life is finally working out, if only Dean was here everything would be perfect. Sam had given up the search for Dean, because there is just nowhere else that he can look for answers.  And having a job and attending classes tends to take up a lot his time. Sam at this point is convinced that he would never see his brother in this lifetime and he would be damned if his continuous involvement with the supernatural only brings danger to his baby girl.

Sam turns off the car and heads for the door to the office. The office is closed, but he rings the doorbell near the intercom by the door and waits for Amelia to let him in.

Amelia hears the door and walks towards it to let Sam in. “Hey sweetheart, how is my baby doing.”

Sam smiles at Amelia and hugs her. “My daughter is just great, but I’m pretty sure she just wants out.”  Sam says to her as they part.

Lately people have been confusing them to be a couple and Amelia just loves playing along, and would use phrases of endearments just to get a reaction from Sam, which he never does. Sam is too smart to get caught in the bait.

Amelia smiles at Sam and guides Sam to her office.

“Okay Sam you know the drill, except that this time I’m going to need you to put on this hospital gown.” Says Amelia as she hands him a blue and white striped gown.

Sam goes to the bathroom down the hall and changes into the gown, he returns and he sits in the medical chair that now has the appearance of a makeshift bed.  Sam had not had any panic attacks since the day that he found out about the baby. Since then he has learned that they were due to the imbalance of his hormones, which caused his uncontrollable mood swings. And although It has been three months since his last one, his breathing is becoming a little frantic as his mind provides him with images of everything that could go wrong.

Amelia looks at Sam and realizes that she needs to do some damage control before Sam loses his cool. She needs him to be at one hundred and ten percent. “Sam practice your breathing, I need you alert for this.”

He nods and realizes that Amelia is right this is not the time to panic. He has everything ready for the arrival of his baby. Thinking negatively or stressing out isn’t going to make this whole thing any better. Sam focuses his attention on his breathing and Amelia takes that as her cue to get ready to start the procedure.

Amelia shrubs as best as she can, given her environment and after 45 minutes of cutting, stitching and cleaning, the baby is finally out in the world.

Sam is left weak and tired after the procedure but not enough that he can’t hold his daughter. Sam sees her for the first time, and she is the image of an angel, figuratively speaking of course considering his experience with angels. She is perfect in every way, born on November 15th, with a weight of seven and a half pounds, nineteen inches, ten toes and ten fingers. She has brownish blond hair, the most beautiful green eyes, and pouty lips. She looks so much like Dean.

Sam is captivated by his little girl. “Hey there beautiful. Welcome to the world Deanna Marie Winchester.”


	5. Pieces of You

 

The day that Dea was born was one of the happiest and proudest moments of Sam’s life. He had given birth to the most beautiful baby girl. Sam thinks of the a bright light after so many  dark days, because she is so joyful and full of life, just like Dean. There are days that Sam looks at her and he only sees his brother, which brings forward a wave of sadness, but just one dimpled smile from Dea’s face reminds him to remember about the good times and not forget, but let go of the past.

Deanna turned six months old on May 15th and it has been a little over a year since Dean’s disappearance. It sadness Sam that he hasn’t found a way to get his brother back because Dean would never know that he has a daughter. But Sam knows better than to dwell over things that he has no control over.

For Sam’s birthday on May 2nd, Amelia had surprised him with a cake and a fancy dinner claiming that they both need a nights out and they hired a babysitter for the night. Sam doesn’t help that despite all the fun that she has with Amelia, the thought of Dean is constant and the reminder that he will never see him again is almost unbearable.

Sam, Dea, Amelia and Jack are now well adjusted in their new home. It feels homier now that there are no more boxes lying around. When they moved in Amelia let Sam take the master bedroom knowing that his tall frame would require a bigger bed and thus more space. Also the master bedroom gives easier access to the nursery room, which is decorated with a Winnie the Pooh theme. Most of the furniture in the nursery room were gifts from Amelia or from her patients that knew Sam’s fabricated story and felt bad for him. His explanation for suddenly having a baby is that the baby’s mother died in childbirth and he is now her sole guardian, which is not exactly too far from the truth.  The other furniture was bought new or from the Salvation Army, except for the baby’s crib which Sam wanted it to be brand new.

Days after Dea is born, Sam manages to figure out a system, that involved Amelia rearranging her schedule,  that would allow him to keep working, attend his classes and still take care of Dea. He had acquired enough credits for his pre law degree while he was still pregnant with Deanna, and in the first week of May he took the last of his finals of his second semester in graduate school. Sam is still working and attending Kansas State University, because of his superb ability to do research and his level of intelligence he received a promotion and was bumped up to teaching first years at the University. This is a great opportunity for him to reevaluate his career path because in teaching the first years students he now knows that he wants to become a full-time professor.

Sam’s schedule is pretty hectic and it seems that every hour of every day is filled with an activity. He realizes that being a single parent is difficult, but Amelia has been more than helpful in taking care of Dea. She even changed her hours of operations at the office to allow Sam to attend to his classes.  On the weekend he only teaches one class early Saturday morning and on Sunday he is off completely, and he rejoices at the opportunity to spend time with Dea.

Sam walks to the Impala after he finishes teaching his Saturday morning class and drives home. He sees Amelia’s car parked in the driveway so he leaves the Impala parked in from the house. Sam has made it kind of a thing, in which he would take Dea to the park every Saturday after he gets off work.  This is the most exciting part of the week as he gets to have their father-daughter time seeing as Amelia works at the office until late afternoon.   They would sit under a willow tree for a picnic while Jack has a chance to run around.

Sam completely misses the stranger spying on him from a blue car parked a few houses away and Sam walks toward the door on his house.

He steps in the house and doesn’t hear much noise.  “Amelia? Dea? Where are you?”

Sam hears Jack first as he almost knocks him over in an attempt to greet Sam. “Hey buddy, have you been taking care of my girls?” Sam crunches down and pets Jacks and is rewarded with sloppy kisses. Sam lets out a little laugh.  Sam stands up and notices Amelia standing by the door that connects the living room and the kitchen.

“Hi there handsome, how was work?” Amelia has Dea in her right arms and is hitting her lightly on the back to burp her.

Sam approaches them both and plants a kiss on Amelia’s cheek, and then he makes a move to pick up Dea. “Hey baby girl.” Sam baby talks to Dea and then once he has her secure in his arms he looks at Amelia and says, “I gave the first years their last final today, so I spent most of the time grading papers when I wasn’t monitoring them.” Sam begins to burp Dea.

“Sounds like you had fun,” says Amelia sarcastically, knowing full well that on Saturdays Sam wants nothing more than to spend time with his daughter.

Sam lets out a huff of air and replies in the same sarcastic tone. “Yeah, tons of fun.”

Sam finishes burping Dea and sits down on the couch to rock her to sleep in his arms while Amelia moves around getting ready to head to work.  When Dea finally falls asleep after 15 minutes of rocking, Sam looks at her in awe and is just astound at the fact that this little bundle of joy grew inside of him and is a product of the love he still has for Dean. She is so big for six months, but completely healthy. Her hair has grown a little and it is adorned by a pink ribbon to match her pink and white shirt and her short blue jean skirt.  

“You are so beautiful.” Sam whispers to the sleeping baby.

“Why thank you Sam. That sort of flattery would take you almost anywhere.”  Sam looks up at Amelia and his cheeks redden a little as he smiles at her.

“I was talking to Dea, but you are not so bad yourself,” says Sam to Amelia. They are just good friends, but a little flirting hasn’t ever killed anyone.

Amelia smiles back and places a kiss in Sam’s cheek. “Okay Romeo, I have to go to work.” She parts from him and continues talking, “I’ll see if I can finish up earlier and we can go out to eat.”

Sam stands with Dea in his arms. “Yea that would be great. We can finally go check out the new Italian restaurant.”

“Yep, that was the plan,” Says Amelia as she moves a strand of hair out of Dea’s face and whispers to the baby, “Bye Dea, I’ll see you later.”

Sam and Amelia say goodbye, Amelia moves towards the door and Sam moves towards the nursery to deposit the sleeping Dea in her crib.

A minute after he lays Dea down he hears the doorbell. Sam practically runs to prevent the doorbell from ringing again and risk waking the sleeping baby. He gets to the door and quickly says, “Did you forget your keys?” And then Sam notices that the person standing in front of him is not Amelia.

“Sam.”

“Dean?”

So much longing and awe is communicated through the mention of each other’s name. One year and ten days have passed since Sam had last seen Dean, and yet here is he standing in front door of his house.  

Sam feels something wet on his face and he notices that it’s coming from a flask in Dean’s hands.  “Dean what the hell, I’m not a demon” Sam yelps and barely has time to shield himself before he is hit again with Borax, which causes him to fall to the floor in an attempt to escape the sudden attack.  “Or a leviathan, what…”

Dean says as he moves atop Sam and slices his arm to complete the final test. “Or a shape shifter, good.”   Sam winces loudly and curses when he feels the blade penetrate his skin. “My turn,” says Dean as he moves away from his brother to allow him to stand up.

Sam has to laugh because after a year of not seeing each other, this is their greeting, traces of the life as a hunter.  Dean doesn’t offer Sam any help to stand up but he says, “Come on lets go,” as he folds his long sleeve shirt.

“I don’t need to, I know is you.” Sam says with an expression of bemusement on his face. He stands up, and he looks at his very alive brother.  Only Dean would do something like this.

“Dammit Sammy.” Dean pours the remains of the holy water, the borax and then offers Sam the knife he just used to cut him and says “come on.”

“No Dean, can I just say hello?”  Sam replies.

Dean pretends not to hear him and barely reacts when he cuts himself with the knife.

“All right,” Dean says with a small laugh and Sam makes a face like _‘yeah, good we got that out of the way.’_

Dean quickly puts his knife away and wraps the self-inflicted wound with an old rang that he pulls out of his pockets and then he looks at Sam. “Well, let’s do this,” and he is smiling this time.

Sam smiles back and replies, “I don’t know whether to hug you or take a shower.” The Winchesters laugh and Dean steps closer to his brother. Without much thought and with the most heartfelt joy both brothers hug.

Sam leaves his eyes open, afraid that if he closes them Dean would disappear. “Oh god Dean, you’re alive.” Sam’s mind is racing with thoughts and questions. Are you really alive? Are you really here? Where were you? God did I missed you.

Dean is just in as much awe as Sam. He closes his eyes while he hugs his brother and hopes that his emotions do not betray him and he starts crying like a little girl. The past year has been hell and having his brother in his arms is such a welcomed change.

“Hey Sammy,” Dean says as he pulls apart from his brother after only a few seconds.

Sam pulls apart and hears a noise behind him. He turns and notices Jack, who must have heard the commotion from Dea’s nursery and is now coming to check up on Sam.

Sam moves towards the dog and pets his head to reassure him that he is alright.

“You got a dog?” Dean says with a surprise expression on his face.

“Uh yeah,” Sam replies. “I kind of ran him over nine months ago, and he has stuck around since.”

Dean nods at Sam.

“You look good man.” Sam shifts next to Jack but his attention is on Dean.  Dean has always been handsome and aside from looking a year older he stilled looks exactly the way Sam remembers him, maybe just a little tire and there are some bruises and new scars on his arms.

Dean moves a hand over his face and then his neck and says, “I don’t know about that. I mean where I’ve been… It was bad Sammy.”

Sam frowns and he begins to feel guilty knowing that wherever Dean was, was as pleasant as being in hell. But he asks, “What happened Dean, where were you?”

“I guess standing too close to exploding Dick sends your ass straight to Purgatory,” Dean responds trying to comically diffuse the serious direction of the conversation.

“You were in Purgatory?” Says Sam bewildered and he sees his brother look at him and nod. Sam continues talking, “for the whole year?”

“Yeah well, time flies when you are running for your life.” Dean says with a frown on his face.

“So how did you get out?”

“I guess whoever built the box didn’t want me there any more than I did.” Says Dean and he feels almost uncomfortable talking about his time in Purgatory.

“What does that even mean?” Sam is so confused, first starters Purgatory actually exist and his brother was stuck there for an entire year.

“I’m here, okay” Dean replies with finality in his tone. The year in Purgatory had been difficult; he had seen and done things that would break any other person. And he just doesn’t want to talk about the things he had to do to find a way out.

Sam seems to understand not to push the subject and instead asks, “How about Cas, did he make it out?” Sam moves allowing Dean enough room to enter properly.

Dean moves further into the house and turns his back on his brother, “I uh… he didn’t make it.”

“I’m sorry,” comes the reply from Sam. Castiel was a friend, and he knows that is hard for Dean whenever he can’t save everyone.  Sam cleans himself with a clean towel that was atop the couch and then hands it to Dean so that he may dry himself a bit. Dean takes the towel and after he uses it, he places it where Sam had taken it from.

Dean looks at his surrounding and notices the nicely decorated living room. “So you live here?”  He asks at an attempt to change the previous subject and sits in the nearest couch with view towards the door. He almost fears the answer because if Sam lives in this house, there is just no room in it for Dean. And it would be difficult to swallow and find out that while he had been fighting for his life his brother has been living an apple pie life.  

“Uh, yeah.” Sam sits opposite of Dean and he is somewhat embarrassed to say that this is his house because he knows his brother. “I stopped hunting a while back,” says Sam and he downcast his face to avoid looking into Dean’s judging eyes.

There was only one thing keeping Dean alive while he was in Purgatory, the instinct to let him live another day, but more importantly, the will to see his brother once again. To find out that his brother had given up on him is like a stab to the back. And his expression quickly changes from hurt to pissed off.  He doesn’t believe that Sam quit hunting.

“So you turned tail on the family business?” Says Dean with his voice raised a nudge and a cold expression on his face.

“Dean, what family? Everyone that we have ever been close to is dead.” Jack has been in the background for some time, but as soon as he realizes Sam uneasiness he inches closer. He stands up and places himself in between Sam and Dean.

“I wasn’t.” Deans says staring right into Sam’s eyes. Dean knows that he is intentionally hurting his brother, but he has every right to be upset. His entire life has been about taking care of Sammy, and when he finally needs him, Sam doesn’t step up.

Dean’s words hurt him because he looked for him, but instantly he feels guilty that he hadn’t tried harder despite using all the resources he had. “Dean I’m sorry. I tried…”

“Yea I can see that. So how is your apple pie life treating you Sam? You stopped hunting because of the little brunet I saw before knocking on the door?” Dean is now being plain mean. His expression is cold, nothing like a few minutes ago when they first saw each other.

“Is not like that…” Sam begins but is cut short when Dean interrupts him once more.

Dean stands up from the couch and says, “I know what is like Sam. You left me for dead because of a girl.” Jack doesn’t like the hostility radiating from Dean and he immediately begins barking at Dean.

At the exact moment, as if she knows that that her parents are upset Deanna starts to cry.

Sam becomes frozen in place at the accusatory tone in his brother’s voice.  He had done all he could under the circumstances at the time. And it wasn’t just any girl, he had stop hunting to keeps his daughter, their daughter safe.

Dean hears the loud cries and he his faces changes for one of confusion. “Is that a baby?” Dean did not know what to think. His brother had a kid. His brother wasn’t hunting, he had a house and a dog, a girl and a kid?

Sam just looks at Dean, but doesn’t respond. He hears Dea’s continuous cries, so he first quiets Jack then he stands and without looking at Dean he moves to retrieve his daughter from the crib.

Dean stares at Sam’s back as he moves from the couch and away from the living room. He is frozen for a few moments, and he looks around as if trying to find answers on what to do next. A picture frame catches his eyes and he moves towards it. He takes hold of it and brings it closer to eye level. The picture is of Sam and the brunette woman, and Sam is carrying an infant. The baby is beautiful and she has his brother’s hair, a little lighter much more like Dean's.

Dea had been crying because she had woken up from her nap and needed a change of diapers. As soon as Sam picks her up and cleans her she calms down.  Sam has Dea in his arms as he returns to the living room and sees Dean turn to him.

“You have a kid.” Dean says, and it is not a question but a statement of fact. Dean’s breath is taken from him at the realization and at the sight in front of him.

Sam knows that it isn’t a question but he answers anyways. “Yeah, I have a kid.”

Sam is so nervous because he is also scared of Dean’s reaction to Dea. Sam takes one step closer to his brother and waits for Dean to respond.

Dean had long forgotten why he was so upset with Sam, because a kid changes everything. Dean closes the distance between them and raises a hand to touch the child, but he quickly retracts. Instead he looks back to Sam and asks, “But how?” He knows that it was a stupid question, but his brain isn’t functioning correctly at the moment.

Sam lets out a small laugh and starts, “Well when two people love each other….”

“I know how. I just… Sam you have kid.” Dean interjects a little exasperated.

“Yeah, Dean I do.” Sam smiles at Dean’s current state. He pauses for a moment and sighs then adds, “But there is something I need to tell you.”

“What’s her name?” Dean doesn’t know how to feel. I mean his baby brother has a baby. Dean doesn’t know how to feel about this. He wants to feel happy that Sam has a family of his own, but with a baby, it just means that there is no room for him. Dean knows that there would never be a repeat of the night that they spent together, but that didn’t stop his brain and heart of conspiring against him and indulging the possibility. But now, everything has change. Sam has a beautiful daughter and there is just no room, everything has changed.

Sam looks nervous all of a sudden. Sam turn’s Dea so that she faces Dean. “Her name is Deanna Marie Winchester.”

“You named her after mom and me?” Dean says in awe as he stares at the precious cargo sitting in Sam’s arms.

Sam looks at his daughter who had three of her little fingers inside her mouth, Sam smiles and then looks at his brother and nods. “Yeah. It was my way of remembering you both. And she lo...” Sam almost says that Dea looks so such like him, but he stops himself in time realizing that he should probably ask Dean to sit down before he unloads the truth.

Dean can’t help himself and raises his hand again and this time he passes gentle fingers over Dea’s chubby cheeks. Dea looks straight at Dean and smiles with her fingers still in her mouth.

“She is beautiful Sam.” Dean has never seen anything more precious than the little girl in front of him. Her dimpled smile and golden brown locks are so much like his brother’s, but those green eyes, pouty lips and cute little nose look so much like his own. But that can’t be possible. Before Dean has any time to really think this through any further, the front door opens and in walks the brunette.

“The only appointment for today canceled on my way to the office so that gives me more time spend with my favorite two people.” Amelia walks in and goes straight for the coat hanger and fails to notice that there is company. “Oh, hello” She says once she notices the very sexy stranger in front of her.

Sam smiles and introduces them. “Amelia this is Dean, my brother.  Dean this is Amelia.”

“Hi Dean is nice to meet you.” She extends her hand and smiles broadly.

“Likewise,” Dean quickly steps forward to shakes her hand.

_‘Dean, where I have I heard that name,_ ’ thinks Amelia to herself. “Dead Dean? Love of your life Dean?... Wait, Dean is your brother? I thought you said that Dean was Dea’s other father.”

Sam winces a little as he realizes his mistake. He talked about his brother a lot, but he has never given Amelia his name, because he had known the first time he had used Dean’s name was to name the other father of his baby. But given all the excitement he had thrown caution out the window.  

Dean begins to feel uncomfortable in the direction that this conversation is taking. His mind is supplying him with impossible explanations. And then there are Deanna’s features that look so much like his own. “What do you mean other father?”

Amelia too realizes that she shouldn’t have said anything, because apparently there are still things that have not be cleared out. And now she too is confused, because if Dean is Sam’s brother and the father of his daughter… Her head starts to hurt and she tries to talk, “I, uh…” Amelia begins and she looks at Sam for support. Sam quickly jumps to her rescue.

“Amelia can you please give us a few minutes, I need to talk to Dean.” Sam says shifting Dea in his arms, who seems totally oblivious to what is going on as she continues to play with her fingers. Amelia nods, and Sam tells her to take Dea and Jack to give him and Dean some privacy to talk.

“Come on Jack,” says Amelia as she disappears in the direction of the nursery.  

Sam looks back at his brother and sees so much confusion in his expression.

“Sam what was she talking about?” He points a figure in the direction Amelia went. At this point Dean is so confuse because if he understands correctly Amelia has just admitted that Deanna has two fathers and that he was one of them.

“Um this would be easier if you sit down.  I’m going to get a glass of water do you want anything?” Sam asks.

“Beer.” He could definitely use some alcohol if he is going to have this conversation, which has crazy and unbelievable written all over it.

“Uh, sorry I don’t have beer.” He no longer buys beer unless is for special occasions, but he too could use one at the moment.

Dean looks at Sam like he can’t really believe he doesn’t have beer in the cooler. “Water is fine,” Dean says has he takes back the sit he had previously evacuated. He starts getting antsy, because the conversation that he is about to have seems really important.

Sam walks to the kitchen and retrieves two glasses from the kitchen cabinet. He opens the fridge and pours water in each glass. He returns to the living room, and his heart is pumping and beating quite fast. He knows that he has to tell Dean the truth about Deanna, but he is so nervous about his reaction. But all he knows is that if Dean refuses to acknowledge her as his daughter or so much as accuse her of being demonic in anyway, as much as it would hurt, Sam would choose his daughter.

Sam returns to the living room and places both of the glasses of water in the table in front of his brother. Dean looks to his brother and nods his thanks. Sam moves again and retrieves a photo album from one of the drawers in the living room, he then hands it to Dean.

“Here, it would help you understand.” Sam says and moves to sit down in the couch opposite his brother.

Dean takes the album without a word and stares at it until Sam begins to talk again.

“Dean, what I’m about tell you is going to sound impossible, crazy even, but I need you to let me finish without interruptions. Okay?” Sam doesn’t know how to tell his brother upright that he has a daughter because he feels that he just wouldn’t understand what he has been through and why he stopped looking without providing a thorough explanation.

Dean takes a sip of his water, nods his answer and then looks at Sam. “Yeah, okay.” Dean is nervous because today is already starting to be more than he had been expecting.

Sam begins his story.

“A year and three months ago the most unexpected thing happened between us. I know that it meant nothing to you, heat of the moment or whatever. ” Dean makes a face like he wants to protest, but Sam doesn’t let him talk and he continues.

“I didn’t talk to you about this then, but when we… I felt like our souls connected or something.” Sam couldn’t say the words _‘when we made love’_ because he knows that his brother would just get more uncomfortable than he is now. “Anyways a few weeks later I started feeling sick.”

“Sammy what was wrong” Dean says, feeling a little uneasy of the thought that he had somehow made his brother ill and he didn’t even noticed it at the time.

“Dean please, just… just let me get through this okay?” What he is telling Dean is hard. He is pouring his heart and exposing his vulnerability and he just needs to get this all out before he loses his cool.

Dean nods and remains quite although he is really confused as to what this all have to do with Amelia’s comment.

“I didn’t think it was life threatening or anything, and at the time we were sort off because of the whole ordeal, so I never mentioned it to you. It was a lot of dizziness, tiredness, nausea, the sort of thing, but I attributed it all to the stress we were on to get rid of the leviathans. That day at the warehouse when we went after Dick, I felt horrible man and I had a real horrible feeling that something bad was going to happen, like when I used to get visions.  Then I realized just after you disappeared exactly what that was about. ”

“Right after you were gone Crowley appeared and practically confessed that his planned all along was to go after Kevin and he pretty much tried to convince me that you and Cas were both dead. I passed out after he left and I was surprised that I was still alive a few hours later when I woke up in the lab. I didn’t want to believe him Dean, so I spent three months looking for you none stopped. I didn’t eat, I didn’t sleep looking for anyone or anything that would have information about where you were.”

“But then I was getting really weak, and I was losing a lot of weight which caused these weird cramps in my stomach. I was getting worse every day; throwing up, always tired even on days where I could sleep, and I wasn’t able to keep anything in my stomach. But I didn’t stop looking for you, I swear.”

Dean has this pained expression on his face and he feels so awful that he wasn’t there to have taken care of his brother.

Sam laughs a little and says “I knew that if you were dead you would have come back and kick my ass for not taking care of my health and for almost fading away.”

“Damn right I would have.” Dean gives him a small sad smile and then remains silent to let Sam finish his story.

“I improved my diet, but the symptoms continued. I didn’t want to go to the hospital because of the whole lying about my insurance, and frankly I was scare to find out what was wrong. At that point I had absolutely no leads on where you were and when Garth calls me up to do a hunt in Kansas, I decided that that would be my last hunt, I just couldn’t keep going without you.”

Sam looks up and he thinks that he sees understanding in Dean’s eyes, so he continues.

“The hunt was a simple salt and burn, but something went bad. I wasn’t feeling well and I knew better than to go ahead and do the hunt, but I just wanted it to be over. I didn’t have time to react and the spirit pushed me from behind, I landed in a nearby branch and injured my leg, and out of nowhere I get an extreme pain in my stomach. But I was determined to finish the hunt. After I salt and burn the spirit, the pain in my stomach got so bad that it brought me to my knees and honest to god I didn’t think that I would make it through the night.”

Dean winces when he hears Sam say that he almost died. He wants to kick himself realizing that if he would have noticed the changes in Sam back before he killed Dick, he could have prevented all this suffering.

“By then I had already met Amelia when I took my dog to her vet’s office when I ran him over. I didn’t know why I broke into her office that night, but I figured that if I couldn’t go to the hospital, at least I would find some pain killers that would help me. She found me there that night, bleeding badly from my leg and dying from the pain in my abdomen. She helped me calm down and when I did the pain seemed to ease enough for her to take care of my leg. And then with an ultrasound machine she checked my stomach. At the time I thought I had cancer or something, but then what we heard, what we saw in the sonogram image… it was unreal.”

Sam pauses for a moment and drinks half of the water from his glass. Sam is getting emotional by this time and it is becoming harder to continue the story because he is scare about how Dean is going to react.

“It was a baby Dean, living, growing inside of me.” Sam looks at Dean and is almost expecting him to yell at him and call it all bullshit, but he just stares back at Sam almost as if at a loss for words. Sam continues.

“I don’t know how it happened. I did all the tests that I could think of to make sure the baby wasn’t demonic or otherwise evil, but nothing happened. I was pregnant for six months when I found out and that same day I learned that I almost lost her.” Sam clears his throat to clear the knot forming there and wipes away a fallen tear.

“I was overwhelmed and freaking the hell out because I was pregnant with a human baby, I didn’t know anything about raising a kid, and then to top it all off I didn’t know how to get to you. I started to believe that you were really dead” Sam pauses once more.

To say that Dean was surprise that his brother had been pregnant was putting it mildly. And when Sam speaks again he already knew what would come next.

“She is yours Dean. Deanna is your daughter, our daughter”

Dean is overwhelmed. In the past couple of minutes he has reunited with his brother after a long year of fighting for his life. He then finds out that said brother almost died because he neglected his health in order to search for him. And now he finds out that although his brother wasn’t dying from cancer he had been pregnant with his baby. A baby that almost didn’t get to see the light of day.

Dean hears Sam narrate the last year and a half. He finally understands why his initial anger was uncalled for and his brother did more than could have been expected give the situation.

“I have a daughter? But how?” says Dean, voice cracked and full of emotion. He believes Sam without a doubt. No one can say a story like this and be nothing but the truth. And he trusts Sam, but is still surreal that he had been pregnant.

“Yeah, she just turned six month old on May 15th.” Says Sam with a smile on his face, as the conversation has turned lighter by talking about Dea. “And I really don’t know how it was possible for me to get pregnant, but I swear Dean is the truth. I have tried to find an explanation and I just keep arriving at a dead end.

“You know this is crazy right? I mean we are brothers Sam and in case you haven’t notice you’re a guy.” Dean has a look of bewilderment and is confused beyond belief. After all the things that he has seen, he thought that he had seen it all. But no, the weirdest yet is finding out he has a baby with his brother, his very male brother.

“I know how it sounds Dean. Believe me it was even more bizarre for me finding out about her and then having to carry her to term. But she is yours Dean, she has your eyes, she looks so much like you.”

Dean knows that Sam is not lying. And honestly he is really curious about seeing Deanna once more. “Can I…?” Dean didn’t exactly know how to ask, but Sam seems to understand him.

Sam laughs a little relieved that Dean seems to believe him. “You want to meet your daughter, properly this time?” Sam smiles as he asks, but them does a double take on the question.  “You are not going to...”

Dean can hear the insinuation in Sam’s voice and he quickly adds with an exasperated tone, “For Christ sakes Sam, I’m not going to hurt a baby.”

Sam nods and Dean gives him a little smile. He still can believe that this is all happening. He has never heard of a man that has been pregnant. And although the supernatural may play a role in all of this, the little girl that he had seen earlier and will see again, is not evil and she is Sam’s and his daughter.

“Kay, just uh… give me a minute.” Sam stands and leaves the living room to go in search for Dea.

Dean is still on the couch and is then that he realizes that the photo album has remained untouched. He stares at it on his lap then he opens it and starts looking through the pictures. The first two are of Sam at six and nine months pregnant. He is shirtless to show off his baby bump except that in the six month photo it is barely visible, anyone can easily confuse it for fat. In the nine month picture, Sam is noticeably bigger, but not by much, Dean figures it has something to do with his large frame. In both pictures Sam is radiant and shows a natural glow, he supposes is similar to how a woman glows when they are pregnant. Dean thinks that Sam looks beautiful holding his baby bump and smiling at the camera. Even looking at the picture it is still hard to believe that the person in the pictures is his brother. But despite all of his disbelieve there is a part of him that spark of pain that he had not being here for his brother taking care of him and seeing their child grow inside Sam.

He sees a few sonogram pictures and passes his fingers over it in awe. He turns the page and the next picture he sees is a picture of the baby, his baby he corrects. Under the picture it reads “Welcome to the world Deanna Marie Winchester, November 15, 2011.” Dean thinks that she is the most beautiful newborn in the entire world. He realizes that he is saddened that he had missed her birth and the last six months of her life.

Moments later Dean notices that Sam is back in the living room with a smiling Deanna in his arms. Dean quickly abandons the photo album in favor of standing up and moving closer to Sam and the infant.

When Dean is close enough, Sam says while looking at his daughter, “Dea this is your other daddy.” Dea can’t understand what Sam has just said, but she smiles anyways as Sam tickles her stomach a little.

Dean smiles at them both, and mimics Sam’s movement on Dea’s stomach once he has removes his hands and says, “Hi baby girl.” Dea laughs a little and smiles making baby noises.

“You want to hold her?” Sam smiles and doesn’t really wait for an answer and he places Dea in Dean’s arms. Dean has never had this strong desire to cry of happiness before because this little precious thing is his baby girl. Dean instantly falls in love with her.

Dean smiles at the baby and says, “Hi kiddo.” After looking at his daughter for a few moments, he looks up and sees Sam smiling. “She is one good looking kid, Sammy.”

“Yeah she is. She takes after her parents.” Sam says as his smile widens and puts a hand on Dea just a little over where Dean’s hand rest. Sam wants to reach down just a little and rest his hands on Dean, but he is not sure if the touch would be welcomed. A move to cover Dean’s hand would feel intimate, and the last time they were intimate things did not go on too well, so Sam restrains himself.

Dean is overwhelmed with emotion. He is a parent now. He and Sam have a daughter. But now what? What are they going to do from now on? Dean looks at Sam and his baby girl and he sees home for the first time in a long time. After a moment and without much thought, Dean covers Sam’s hand with his and squeezes. He has his family in his arms, and there is just no other place he wants to be. Dean looks straight into Sam’s smiling eyes while still locked holding Dea and he says, “I don’t know Sammy, if she looked anything like you, she would be growing antlers.” But his eyes tell something differently. What he really thinks is that Sam is the most beautiful person he has ever seen, and that he and his daughter are nothing but perfect, and after the year he has had Dean is not letting them go.

Sam chuckles. “Jerk.”

“Bitch.” Came the automatic response from Dean and he laughs.

The warmth generated from Dean’s hand sent shivers throughout Sam’s body. Sam feels elevated that Dean initiated the contact, because maybe after all those months of denial, they may be able to resume from that night they were together. Sam knows that is a distant dream, but he can’t help but hope that Dea’s presence would have an influence.

They part from each other when they hear someone clearing their throat from behind.  Amelia walks in the room and Dean shifts Dea in his arms feeling somewhat uncomfortable in her presence. He had forgotten that there was anyone else in the house and he feels a painful tug in his heart when he realizes that Amelia might be Sam’s girlfriend.

“Hey Amelia,” Says Sam with a sad smile and is almost embarrass to look at her eye to eye knowing that he is going to have to provide an explanation as to why his baby’s father is also his brother.   

Amelia didn’t know the identity of Dea’s other father until Dean shows up. To find out that he is also Sam’s brother is a bigger surprise.  The truth is that she realizes that she is okay with it, a little weirded out, but okay.  For one, she knows that Sam is a good guy, secondly, she knows that he has lived an unusual life and finally, she is in no position to judge what she doesn’t understand. “Guys relax, I get it you know. Well I don’t get it, but I won’t judge I swear.” Amelia tries to ease the atmosphere a bit, because Sam is looking a little pink from embarrassment and Dean looks extremely uncomfortable.

The brothers don’t say anything after Amelia speaks. They don’t know how to respond. Thankfully Amelia speaks again, “How about we order some food, and I get to know you Dean?”

“That sounds like a great idea, pizza okay?” Sam looks over to his brother to make sure that he is fine with it. Dean nods his confirmation and returns his attention to bouncing Dea up and down.  “Kay, I’ll make the order and be back in a second.”

Sam leaves to the kitchen and Dean turns his Attention to Amelia. “So, you and Sammy….”

Amelia takes a good look at him. _‘My goodness he is attractive,’_ she thinks to herself. “Uh, what?” She thinks it over and immediately realizes what Dean is implying. “Oh no, we ah… Sam and I are not together.” Amelia thinks that for the quickest of moments she sees relief in Dean’s face.

“I just assumed, you guys living together….” Dean smirks at her because he is now really relief they are not dating

“No, we are just friends. After we found out the he was pregnant I just knew that I had to be a part of it. And after he told me about being a hunter and the things that go bump in the night, we become good friends.” Amelia smiles and then adds, “But we might as well be, considering that we fight like an old married couple when it comes to Dea. He and Dea are really important to me, they are like family.”

Sam walks back in the living room. “Did she tell you that she single handedly delivered Dea?”

Dean tickles Dea and she laughs. Dean looks up at Amelia, “Thank you… for taking care of my brother and Deanna when I wasn’t here.” With a serious tone he continues, “It means a lot to know that he wasn’t alone when he needed someone. “

“I told you, Sam and Dea are family. And I take care of my family”

Dean chuckles a little because he couldn’t have said it better himself. “Yeah.” He decides that he likes Amelia. Not only did she help his brother throughout the pregnancy, but she has been taking care of Dea and anyone that protects his family is good on his book. “Thanks anyways.”

“Amelia has been great. I owe her my life and Dea’s.” Sam looks fondly at Amelia as he talks to Dean. Amelia smiles back at Sam.

After a moment of silences, Sam speaks again. “Uhf Dea, I think you had an accident.” Sam moves to take Dea from Dean so that he can go change her dirty diaper, but Dean refuses to let her go.

“Can I change her?” Dean says to Sam, not willing to let go of his daughter just yet.

“You sure, she gets messy?” Sam baby talks to Dea as he tickles her stomach. ”Don’t you Dea?”

“Yea, just show me where I can change her.”  Dean has spent too much time away from his daughter and he is going to take every opportunity he cans to rectify that.

Sam shows Dean the nursery room and pulls out everything that he would need. San then leaves Dean with Dea and he goes back to the living room to talk to Amelia.  Sam finds Amelia seating in the spot that Dean had been before and Sam sits next to her. “Look Amelia about Dean, I didn’t tell you…”

Amelia cuts Sam short and says, “Sam like I said before, I’m okay with it. I’m in no position to judge you. Besides, what’s done is done so don’t worry about it okay?”

Sam smiles his relieve. “Okay. You don’t mind if he stays here?”

“Of course no, he is your brother, lover, whatever.” Amelia chuckles and then adds, “He is important to you, and besides have you seen him, he is nothing short of a Greek god.”

Sam chuckles. “Yeah he is beautiful,” and smiles fondly.  “Thanks…for everything.” Sam owes so much to Amelia that words could only begin to describe it.

Amelia nods. She pats him on his tights and gets up from the couch to head towards the kitchen. “I’m going to get some plates and cups for dinner.”

Dean changes Dea fairly quickly and carries her back to Sam and Amelia. He sees them talking and only catches the last few seconds of the conversation. Dean approaches Sam with a smug grin and says, “You think I’m beautiful Sammy?”

Sam doesn’t hear Dean come in until he speaks. Sam jumps a little after being caught off guard and then blushes bright red when he realizes what Dean just said. “Dean, I didn’t…” Sam meant every word; he just wasn’t expecting his brother to have been listening when he had called him beautiful.

Dean occupies the seat that Amelia has vacated and sits Dea in his lap. “Sam, I’m sorry about the way I acted before when we...” Sam knows exactly what Dean is referring too. “I freaked out you know and I still feel uncomfortable about the whole thing. But I want to make this work, all three of us.” He looks at Dea and then back at his brother, and hopes that Sam understands and wants this too.

“I want that too Dean.” Sam reaches out for Dean’s hands but leaves it in the air double thinking his unconscious decision. He is about to pull away when Dean meets him half way. Sam accesses their joined hand, Dean squeezes it and then Sam looks at Dean straight in the eyes. For the second time that day, they feel as if the world has stop and they are the only ones left. “I’ve wanted that for a long time.” Sam finishes.

Dean nods and squeezes his hand a second time then says. “You need to give me some time, but I promise Sam I’ll try to be what you and Dea need.”  

“Dean I don’t want this to be on obligation for you. I’m not some girl you need to marry after you knock them up.” Sam has never had a relationship with a man let alone attempt a relationship when set man is also his brother. He knows that Dean would do anything for him, but sacrificing his mind and body just to please him is unacceptable.

“Sam I’m not. This is weird you know. I came back from a year of pure hell to find out that my family has grown… I had a lot of time to think about this Sam.” Dean looks at Sam in awe and with longing and then he smiles when he looks at Dea. “I came back looking for my brother and expecting nothing more, but what you are offering me… I really want it Sam; you and Dea.”

Sam nods and is relieved to hear Dean’s words, but he can help it and just needs assurance, “Are you sure?”

“Yes Sammy I am.” He half smiles and half frowns as he adds, “But you need to be patient with me… you know I’m no good with relationships and I’ll probably screw this up.”

Sam smiles, “and you think I am? Look at how my past relationships ended… We’ll figure this out together.”

Dean clears his throat in an attempt to shake off his emotional state. “Okay, are we done with the click flick moment, because I’m starting to feel my testosterone levels drop.”

Sam chuckles and squeezes Dean’s hand for a second before he lets go. “So, can I hold our daughter? I have barely held her since I got off work.”

“Yeah yeah, but only for a few moments, I think she starting to like me.” Dean smiles as he hands Dea back to Sam who had remained quiet throughout, playing with toy keys.

“Say, maybe after dinner I can take baby out and maybe get some desert or something.”

“Yea that sounds good. I was going to take Dea out to the park today, but there is a great ice cream shop in town, we can do that. “

“I kind of meant the Impala, but I guess you guys can come too.”

“You are such a jerk you know that.” Sam punches him lightly in the arm but there is no heat to it. And he almost wants to smile because he knows just how attached he is to his previous Impala which he has not rode in a year.

Dean plays the victim and rubs where Sam just hit him. “Ow Sam, I see you haven’t stopped hating on the Impala.”

“Well only if you are choosing the car over your own daughter.”

Jack who Amelia must have let in from the backyard moves towards the door and barks. The brothers are interrupted from their banter as they hear the doorbell rings. Sam makes a move to open the door, but Dean stops him taking into consideration that Sam is still holding Dea.

“I got it.” Dean says as he moves towards the door and tries to avoid stepping too close to the dog. Dean thinks he might still be a little suspicious of him. He couldn’t blame him, considering his behavior early on this afternoon.

“Hey there is money on the counter.” Sam yells after him, but when Dean opens the door he pays with the cash he has in his wallet.

 

They all finish their dinner and go out for a ride on the impala. Dean is in complete awe to be back in the seat of his baby. The impala has seen nearly just as much bad as he has, and has been his and Sam’s home since they were kids.  Dean is just glad that she still runs, otherwise he might have killed Sam, although he knows that is nothing more than an empty threat.  

It gets late, and once they get home Sam bathes Dea and gets her ready for bed. Sam puts Dea down in her crib. After he is sure that she is asleep he goes back to the living room where he had left Amelia and Dean. Amelia passes him on the way to the living room and wishes him a good night. Sam looks at his watch and realizes that it is 9pm and knows that it is still too early for her bedtime, but he assumes that she wants to give Sam some time alone with Dean.

“Hey,” says Sam as a he approaches Dean.

Dean looks away from the television when he hears Sam’s voice. “She asleep?” Dean asks referring to Dea.

“Yeah. It has been a big today for her too. She was wiped out.” Sam sighs and sits down next to Dean. He too is tired, seeing Dean after a year and then having to tell him about Dea has drained him both physically and emotionally.

Dean can tell that Sam is tired and he is not faring much better himself. During the year in purgatory he barely slept and being out of the constant danger his body is finally demanding rest. He wants to stay here with his brother, and after a year of fighting for nothing else than to see Sam once more is what keeps in glue to his seat. He had a lot of time to think while in purgatory and his constant thoughts were about Sam. About the possibility that he would never see him again, that he would die in this hell and never tell his brother just how important he is to him. He has thoughts of apologizing to Sam for that night and the way he behaved afterwards and how he just wants a second chance. Dean had made a promise to himself that if he made it out he would work things out with Sam if he still wanted him, and damn all societies that would judge them.  

But he knows better now. Sam has a life here and although he has told Sam that he wants to work things out with him, tonight’s outing has just proven that Dean has nothing to offer him but nightmares and a broken body. He doesn’t know anything but hunting and he starts to wonder what would be his role if he stays.  He stands up and looks at Sam pleading with his eyes for something he doesn’t want to name. What he does say is, “Is getting late, I guess I should be going.” Dean turns away from Sam as he takes a few steps towards the door.

Sam stands up and moves towards Dean. “What? No!” Sam knows Dean enough to know that his brother is probably thinking about being a martyr and leave in order to allow him to continue this version of normal, which is bullshit. Without Dean there is no life that would ever feel complete.  It felt like a hole was carved in his heart the moment Dean had vanished, and just as it had been ripped out, it was just as easily filled when he saw his brother at his front door today.

Sam gets close enough to his brother, and if Dean so much as move a muscle towards the door, Sam is going to beat him down until he has the chance to tie him up if necessary. Dean appears after a year and what, he wants to leave again. “Dean stay, please.” Sam says with a pleading tone. He sees his brother shift on his feet and sees in his expression that his mind seems to be in battle with the decision. “Come on man, we got room here and it has to be better than any motel room.” Dean seems to be considering it and so Sam continues, “I’m off tomorrow, I’m thinking of taking Dea to the park since we didn’t go today. You can come with the two of us. I’ll even let you drive.” Sam finishes with a half-smile.

Dean smiles and says,” Why thank you Sam for giving me permission to drive my own car.”

Sam still smiling says, “Well, technically the impala is my car.” His smile is cut short as he speaks his next words, “I had to get the papers when you disappeared, but will get them fixed. “ Sam pauses for a moment. “So the means you’re staying?”

Dean can see the sadness that consumes Sam anytime he thinks about the time Dean spent in purgatory.  Dean can’t stand seeing his brother hurting, and as long as he wants him there he would stay with him.  “Yeah Sammy, I’m staying.”

Sam is more than pleased and his smile returns at the prospect of Dean staying in his house. “Okay uh, you have options.  Amelia has an air mattress in the garage that we can bring in here, there is the couch, and there is….” Sam ears turn bright red and he becomes nervous at his next words because he knows he is pushing it, but he just wants to be close to his brother, nothing more, at least for now. “We can share my bed. I mean is big enough for the both us and is not like we haven’t share a bed before. I promise I won’t attack you in your sleep.” Sam chuckles a little in an attempt to lighten the mood.

_‘But I might’_ Dean thinks to himself at the prospect of having Sam so close to him and in the same bed. He almost wants to lick his lips at the thought of being so close to Sam and he thinks that Sam looks so cute when he gets embarrassed. It has been over a year since he has been with anyone. And if or when he gets that close to Sam, Dean wants it to be perfect and for their relationship to not be in such a rocky state.  

“I’ll take the couch it seems comfy enough.” Dean looks at Sam and for a second he sees disappointment, but Sam covers it up with a smile.

“You sure, you can be more comfortable in a mattress?” He wants Dean to share his bed for nothing more than to reassure himself that he is really here and not dead or still missing.

“I’ve slept in worse. The couch is fine.” Dean replies.

“Yeah. Okay, let’s get you some clean sheets and a pillow…and a pair of sweat pants and shirt to sleep in. I’ll be right back.”

Sam leaves and Dean starts taking out the cushions from the couch. When Sam returns to the living room with the sweats he shows him where the bathroom is so that he can change. The sweats and shirt are a little long, but they would have to do. When he returns to the living room he sees Sam finishing up dressing the makeshift bed.

Sam looks up and notices that his brother has returned from the bathroom. He smiles at how big his clothes look on Dean. “Kay, the couch is ready.” Sam moves away from the makeshift bed.  “My room is down the hall if you need anything.” He points to the hallway that Dean had emerged from when he had gone to the bathroom.

“Thanks, Sammy.” Dean says.

“Good night, Dean.”

Dean makes a move for the couch and notices that Sam is still looking in his direction and making no move to go to his own bedroom. Dean notices the wheels turning in Sam’s brain and he knows that his brother just wants reassurance that he will be there in the morning, or maybe that he has not change his mind about giving their relationship, or whatever, a proper try.

“C'mere,” Dean says to Sam. Sam expression changes to one of confusion so he says a second time. “Can you just come here?”

Sam walks up to Dean not knowing what his brother wanted, but he felt hopeful nevertheless.

Dean moves the rest of the way until he is face to face with Sam. He looks at Sam’s lips and then up to see Sam’s beaming eyes and expression. Dean continues to stare into those bright orbs and lifts one of his arms and tangles his fingers into Sam’s hair and pulls him down for a kiss.

Once Sam notices Dean looking at his lips he just knows what would come next. Dean’s hands feel warm on his head and although he sees it coming Sam is still not expecting Dean to deliver on the kiss. Everything feels as if in slow motion. Dean’s lips feel so soft and gentle as the kiss begins slowly and it is just the brush of their lips.

Dean tightens his hold on Sam’s hair, pulls a little, and deepens the kiss. He can hear the small whimper coming from Sam which intensifies his pleasure. Their mouths open and move frantically eliciting moans from both Sam and Dean. They kiss with passion and longing and although Dean wants to continue kissing Sam, he knows that if they keep at it, he would not be able to stop himself. Dean takes control of the kiss and slows it down enough to part from his brother and he already misses the loss of Sam’s lips.

The kiss feels like their first, and Dean’s lips are still tingling. He brushes Sam’s hair with the tips of his fingers then he lowers his arm. Dean has kiss a lot of people, but none have ever felt this right before. Dean looks at Sam and says, “Goodnight Sam.”

Sam is frozen in place with his eyes still close and reliving the kiss and savoring the moment. After a few moments he knows that he needs to respond in some way. “Right… Uh, thanks.”  Sam begins to walk backwards still facing Dean and almost trips with the end table. He chuckles a little, “Night then.” Sam feels like a freaking thirteen year old girl, because not only is he blushing ferociously, but he his tripping over his feet as if had been his first kiss, he is at a loss for words, and to top it all he feels a million butterflies flutter in his stomach.  He decides that a fast retrieval would probably be his only chance at saving himself from further embarrassment.

Dean smiles because of Sam’s response as he lay down on the couch. He looks at the album for some time. And for the first time in months both brother feel less pressured from life, more secured. For the first time in months they are together and now they had a few more members added to their family. They both sleep soundly for the first time in months.

 


	6. Men of Letters

 

Dean is sound asleep until he wakes with a start. He hears a loud whistling down the hall and after the year he has spent in Purgatory his senses are heightened and Dea’s cries are enough to put him on high alert. He moves quickly in search of the baby and finds her crying, but safely tucked in her Winnie the Pooh bear crib. Dean slowly lifts her into his arms and her cries subside as he begins to bounce her up and down in his arms. “Is okay baby girl. I got you.” Dean begins pacing in the room trying to sooth Dea and to try and get her to stop crying. Dean starts humming a song from AC/DC in a lullaby form, and that seems to do the trick.

“G’morning.” Sam rubs his eyes with the back of his hand as he stands leaning in the door-frame.  “You’re good with her. It usually takes me longer to calm her down. Then again I never did try to hum her metal rock.” Sam is amazed at the sight in front of him. Dean looks really good holding a baby, their baby.

Dean lets his face lift so that he can look at the sleepy figure in front of him. “Morning. I heard her cry and I thought…” that she was in danger. “Hey! I never heard you complain when you were a baby and I used to hum for you after a nightmare.” Dean pauses for a second. “You should go back to sleep, I got her.”

Sam knows what Dean is thinking, and after the life they have had he couldn’t blame him for associating a cry with danger. “Nah it's fine. I usually wake up early anyways.” Sam moves towards Dean and Dea and sets a calming hand over Dea’s back. “She’s probably hungry.” He tells Dean and then he continues to sooth Dea.

“Good morning sweetheart. I bet you’re hungry huh?” Sam says to Dea as he continues to stroke her back. Sam is about to pick Dea from Dean’s arms, but she seems to be clinging just as much as Dean is clinging to her. Sam looks up at Dean and says, “I’ll go get her bottle and start the coffee.”

Dean follows Sam into the kitchen and resumes his pacing and bouncing Dea up and down.  Sam comes closer once he has Dea’s bottle ready. Dean takes the bottle from Sam’s hand and begins to feed Dea.  Dea latches onto the bottle as soon as it touches her little lips. “Hey take it easy kid, I’m not going to take it from you.” Dean says as he notices the quick pace in which Dea is drinking her milk.

Sam chuckles because just like her father, Dea has a gran appreciation for food and her enthusiasm drives her to inhale her food as oppose to savoring it. “Dude you can’t say anything. She is just like you when you are eating pie.”

Dean smirks at Sam. “I can’t deny it. I do enjoy a good pie. Speaking off, maybe we can get some on the way to the park, can’t say I have much of it in the past year.” There are a lot of things that he missed in the past year since he was sent to Purgatory.

Sam nods, “Yeah, we can do that.” Sam looks at the clock on the wall and tries hard not react to Dean’s mention of Purgatory, because as it seems, Sam get a pull in his chest of the guilt of not having gotten his brother out. “Is eight now. I can get some food ready to take with us and then I’ll take a shower and clean Dea up and we can leave at ten.”

“Sounds good. Hey, is Amelia coming with us?” Dean asks Sam.

Just as Sam is about to answer, Amelia walks into the kitchen and says with amusement on her face, “No. Any time I try to tag along, Sam gives me this weird face. “

Sam chuckles and turns to look at Amelia. “I do not. You know that you are more than welcome to join us.”

“No is okay, wouldn’t want to interrupt family time.”

“Hey! You’re family,” Sam says as he smiles at her.

“I know.” Amelia knows that Sam and Dean still have a lot to work out and they could use the time alone. “Besides I’m meeting up with my dad this afternoon, he said that he has some good news for me.”

Dean sits by the kitchen table and sits Dea in his thighs. He sips on the coffee that Sam set in front of him and sees the interaction between Amelia and Sam.

“Oh yeah, that’s today? Any ideas what he wants to talk to you about?” Sam speaks to Amelia as he too grabs his cup of coffee and begins to drink from it, and gives a second cup to Amelia.

“Thanks.” Amelia thanks Sam for the coffee. “I have no idea. All I know is that he said to show up on time and well dressed. The anticipation is killing me to tell you the truth.”

Sam nods and leans on the kitchen counter. “Then it must be important.”

“Yep. You know my dad, he doesn’t play games.” Amelia looks at Dean and then adds, “Sam tells me that he is not too different from your father; real military guy, who takes no bullshit from anyone.”

Dean chuckles. “Is that what Sam has been saying? I guess is not a far off description.”

Amelia smiles, “So at what time are you guys heading out?”

“Around 10. I figured the earlier the better.” Sam replies.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t mind spending as much time with Deanna as I can. It seems that I have missed a lot already. I still can’t believe she is mine.” Dean smiles and looks at Dea as he speaks.

Amelia sees the way that Dean interacts with Dea and for the first time since he had met Sam she feels lonely.  She doesn’t have a family of her own and aside from the few times that she sees her dad, Sam and Dea, that’s all she has. But now Dean is here and things are looking up for Sam, soon she would be alone once more.  But she knows better than to dwell on things that she has no control over. “Well you better start believing it, because the more I see you two together the more I see the resemblance, she looks just like you Dean.”

Dean looks up and smiles at Amelia. “She is a looker alright.”

 

 

They arrive on the park much closer to eleven then ten. They set a picnic blanket under a tree close to the nearby pond. They both sit on the blanket. Dean is holding onto Dea, while Sam takes out two water bottles from the picnic basket and a couple of toys from Dea’s baby bag.

“You know I am little surprise of how easily she clings to you. With any other new person she becomes uneasy and cries for me within seconds. But with you… is like she recognizes who you are.”  Sam says to Dean.

“Is that right?” Dean looks down at Dea, “Of course you know who I am, right sweetheart?” Dea looks at Dean with sparkling eyes and a smile on her face, as if she understands what Dean is asking her.  Dean adjusts the little red bow on her hair and then looks at Sam. “I know you are tired of hearing it, but dude, I can’t believe she is ours. Like she is a product of the two of us, is just amazing.”

Sam chuckles, “Trust me, I know man. It was weirder for me, considering that I had to carry her and that for the first 6 months I didn’t even know it was possible for me to be pregnant.” Sam looks at Dea and he straightens out her little red and white dress. “But she is ours…I’m so glad you are here Dean. It just… It hasn’t been the same.” I haven’t been the same, Sam wants to say. Being a single parent has been hard, and if it hadn’t been for Amelia Sam doesn’t think that he could have gotten this far.

“You’ve done great man. She is incredible. Although, who would have thought that I would end up with a kid, let alone a kid who wears dresses.” Dean lets out nervous chuckles. “How was it Sam, being pregnant I mean?”

“Uh, you really want to talk about this?” Sam asks.

Normally Dean wouldn’t do chick flick moments but for the past two days there seems to be nothing but that, plus before he didn’t have an adorable kid. “Yeah, I kinda do. I mean I’m curious. I never heard of anything like it. Have you been able to find anything about how it could have happened?”

“Okay well, you were there for the first three months although I hide the symptoms pretty well.” Sam sees Dean’s expression and quickly adds, “Look I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but our relationship was already shaky and with the whole ordeal of the leviathans we couldn’t afford for me to take it easy.”

“I know Sam, but I could have helped.”

“No you couldn’t have Dean. I mean I didn’t even know what was wrong with me.”

“Still.”

“Yeah I know.” Sam knows that Dean worries about him; always have and always will. He feels that is his obligation and primary job to look after Sammy although Sam is more than capable of looking after himself.  “Up until I find out that I was pregnant I just associated my symptoms to malnutrition. I felt horrible for months. To be honest I have no idea how she survived. I mean I was thrown around a lot when hunting.” Sam looks at Dea and then at Dean. “After I find out about her and that she was healthy, Amelia becomes my best friend and she helped me get settled in the area. I started to take better care of myself and I was able to get a job and finish my pre-law degree.”

“I’m just glad I have Deanna you know. I don’t think I would have lasted very long without her, without you.”  Sam chuckles, “Oh my god I’m such a girl, aren’t I?”

“I’ve been saying it for years Sammy.” Dean replies with a smirk and a wink.

“Shut up,” says Sam in amusement.

“Just saying, if we keep having these chicks flick moments you might as well wear a dress and I’ll call you Samantha, I mean you are already a mommy.”

“You Jerk! Honestly I don’t even know how it happened and how a male could become pregnant…And aside from the placenta and the umbilical cord, I didn’t have the necessary equipment to sustain life.” Sam says.

Dean has never heard of anything like it, and would have called Sam a liar if he had not seen the proof. “So it has to be something supernatural.”

“Yeah that’s my guess. But I just can’t think of anything that can create life like that or why they would impregnate me out of all people. All I know is that Dea is human and she is my kid, and I’ll always protect her.”

Dean nods because he too is glad to have Deanna and he would do whatever it takes to keep her and Sam safe. “So is she always this quiet?”

Sam lets out a little laugh and passes his hands through his hair, which is getting a little long. “She is a good girl, way too smart for her own good. She only acts out when she wants something, and even then she is not very demanding. ” Sam picks Dea from Dean’s thighs and starts swinging her in the air like an airplane. Dea giggles and lets out burst of laughter.

Dean is amazed of just how natural Sam looks with Dea. “I always knew you would be good with kids.”

Sam snorts and lays Dea in the blanket. “Really? When Dea was born I was a complete mess. I didn’t know how to take care of a kid despite all the material I read on the subject. But I get things right once in a while.”

They both play with Dea for a while. Dean picks her up and carries her around the park, and Sam would occasionally take a picture when Dean wouldn’t notice. Before they know it is one o’clock. Dean returns to their blanket under the tree. “We are hungry, right Dea.” Dea just makes baby noises as a sign of agreement.

“There are sandwiches for you, and baby formula for you.” Sam looks at Dean first and then takes Dea to start feeding her.

“I got to admit, I’m having fun just hanging out here.” Dean says with his mouth half full.

“Yeah is nice here. I try to bring Dea at least once every weekend because of work and school I sometimes don’t spend in enough time with her.

Dean keeps the conversation going in between bites. “So you still studying law?”

“No. I took a position as a teacher’s assistant for the history department at the state university and I liked it. I’m thinking of becoming a professor some time down the line.”

“Sounds real good Sammy I’m happy for you, that you were able to get all the things you wanted as a kid. A normal life and all.” Dean’s voices cracks a little because he can’t shake the feeling that he would have to leave soon, because this life is for Sam, not for people like him.

Dean sees a change of expression in Sam’s face and can tell by his brother frown that he is now in deep thought. “Sam what is it?”

Sam looks up to see Dean’s face and takes a deep breath. “Are you leaving us?”

“What? Where did that come from?” Dean knows that Sam already suspects that something is wrong.

Sam assesses him for a second and then continues, “It just seems… I’m getting the feeling like you want to pull away.”

“Look Sam, you have life here. What can I offer you? I don’t know anything but hunting.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it... If is because you don’t want to be with me, in that way, is fine really. But just, stay, as my brother, as Dea’s father.”

Dean shifts to face Sam better. Is true that he still feels a little weird considering that he had only hooked up with girls, but his time in purgatory has enlighten him with the possibility that the only person he will ever belong to completely is to Sam. “I do want you. Believe me, all I did was think about you when I was in that hell, but you deserve more than me, you know. Why aren’t you dating Amelia?”

“Dean you got to know. I don’t want anyone else. After that night… after what we had, I won’t find that connection with anyone else. You are it for me.” They stare at each other for a few moments then Sam continues, “Besides Dea already loves you and are you really going to deny that face.”

Dean looks at Sam and then at Dea and he is hit with a double puppy look expression. Dean chuckles because he knows that he is beaten, “Come here.” Dean kisses Sam and pays little regards to his surroundings.  “You are it for me too Sam.”

Sam is stunned by Dean’s sudden public display of affection and more so by Dean’s words. “Yeah?” Sam replies and when Dean nods Sam smiles his dimpled smile and lands another quick kiss on Dean’s lips. “Good, now that we have that settled, there will be no more talks about you leaving. We will figure this thing out. Together.”

Dean nods stares at the two most important people in his life then he locks eyes with Sam and says, “Together.”

 

 

A few days have passed and Dean is still sleeping in Sam’s couch because they are taking their new relationship slow. In all honesty Dean is just giving Sam time to realize that this is not what he wants, but internally Dean is praying that he would be enough for Sam and Dea.  Amelia is staying at her dads for a couple of days and she still hasn’t provided any details on what her father has revealed to her. Right now it is only Sam, Dean and Dea in the house. The brothers have just finished their dinner and Sam has tucked Dea in her crib. While Dean is sitting in the living room listening to old voicemail, Sam is in the same couch catching up on some reading for his class.

“Hey Sam listen to this, is from Kevin.” Dean points to the cell phone he is holding and they both listen as Kevin’s voice comes from the recorded line.

“Sam Winchester, it's Kevin Tran. Crowley had me in this warehouse, and I just escaped. I don’t know where I am. And I don’t know if he or—or any other demons are still after me. I need your help. Call me back. It’s Kevin Tran.”

Kevin’s voice sounds through Dean’s cell phone. The voice sounds scared and the tone radiated a sense of urgency.

Dean plays the next recorded voice mail. And Sam is now looking more attentive towards Dean and the phone.

“Sam Winchester, It's Kevin Tran. I called you a week ago. Call me, please. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing out here, man.”

The book that Sam was reading is long forgotten.  He is speechless because after all Kevin was their charge and he has let him down. “Dean I…”

Dean plays the next two recorded massage.

“Sam, it’s Kevin. I’m good. Whoo! I’m so good.” Kevin’s voice sounds like a person after having way too many drinks.  “Three months since you ditched my ass. I haven’t slept for more than four hours a night. It’s all good in the hood.” Kevin clears his throat in the line and then continues, “Uh, if you’re still alive, eat me.”

“Sam, it’s been 6 months. I can only assume you’re dead. If not don’t try to reach me. You won’t be able to. I won’t be calling this number anymore.” At this point Kevin sounds beyond tired and resigned. In the background they could hear the voice of a woman noting the next departing bus. Kevin must have been at a bus station.

Dean wants to yell at Sam, because Kevin was their responsibility and Sam couldn’t answer the damn phone. But Sam’s face screamed for understanding and then Dean remembers why he had not answered.

“Dean I get it… but you have to understand that I couldn’t… Dea.” Sam replies and he can see that Dean’s face immediately softens.

“Sam I know, I understand. You couldn’t take any chances with Dea… But now, I have to find him. I mean he was our responsibility.”

Sam nods. “Yeah, you are right. So when are we leaving.”

Dean shakes his head, “No Sam, not we. I’m going to go look for Kevin and you stay here with Dea.”

Sam mimics Dean’s movements and he too shakes his head. “No way Dean. I just got you back, and there is just no way that you are facing demons alone.“ Sam sighs and moves his feet to touch the floor. “Look, we can leave Dea here with Amelia… we can fortify the house and retouch the protection symbols and we can keep in constant contact.”

“I don’t like this. And what’s going to happen with your job… and school?”

“Well tough luck. Either we both go or neither of us goes.” There is a sense of determination in Sam’s voice and he continues, “And I haven’t taken vacation this year, I could just tell them I need some days off for personal reasons and I could just skip the summer semester and start again in the fall.”

“I knew I shouldn’t have come back to find you.” Dean says in a small voice and barely audible for Sam to hear.

“I thought we went over this, there would be no more talks about you leaving, last time I check I was the one who leaves. Anyways we decided that we would figure things out together.” Sam looks at the Dean and he is becoming irritated because quite frankly he is getting tired of having the same conversation over again.

Dean looks at Sam and he too is exasperated because there is never a break in their life. “I know Sam, but that was before the hunting life started calling me back…You have built a life here and I can’t ask you to give it up to return to hunting.”

“You are not asking me to do anything Dean. Like you said, Kevin was our responsibility, and after you disappeared I should have searched harder to find him.” Sam gets closer to his brother and stares at him until Dean is looking straight into his eyes. Sam’s voice softens and he reaches for Dean’s hand. “This is how this will work.” Sam squeezes Dean’s hand to let him know that the _‘this’_ he is referring to is their new relationship.

Dean nods and squeezes Sam hand in return. “Yeah, Okay.”

The next couple of days Sam spends making arrangements and getting ready to hit the road with his brother. Amelia has returned from her visit to her father with the news that her husband had not died in the war like they had informed her. Sam and Dean felt slightly bad that they were asking her to take care of Dea for a couple of weeks, until they are able to locate Kevin. She is more than happy to look after Dea which is a relief.

Dean sits in the driver seat and Sam takes a seat in the passenger side. Dean turns on the radio and they hit the road, just like old time. “God I missed this.” Dean tells Sam with one hand on the wheel and the other half outside the window.

Sam looks to Dean when he hears him speak and he is in complete agreement. Despite his normal life, he has missed this, being in the passenger seat of the impala with his brother behind the wheel. “Yeah me too,” is Sam’s response.

Dean nods. “Where to?”

Sam pulls out a map to figure out where they are and where they are headed. “Well on the recording we heard an announcement for Centreville, Michigan. I was doing some research and figured out that his high school girlfriend is going to school there. Is the best lead we got and we can ask around to see if anyone has seen him.”

“Centreville, Michigan it is.”

 

 

They have been on the road for nearly three weeks and the few leads they have been able to get have turn out to be total bust. In the meantime they were hunting evil as they pass through the different towns. They would call Amelia every day to see how she was doing and to talk to Dea. Well basically to hear Dea make baby noises, which was sufficient to make them feel like she was safe. Sam and Dean are currently in a motel room in Normal, Illinois. Sam is sitting by the table with the computer open researching for traces of Kevin, Dean is currently laying on the bed looking through the channels in the TV.

Dean flips through the channels on the television and quickly figures out that there is nothing good on. He turns off the TV and moves to the edge of the bed until his feet touch the ground. He stares at Sam.

Sam who is very much into the research he is doing realizes that Dean is starring in his direction. Sam looks at Dean with a _‘what’_ expression on his face.

Dean looks at Sam and smirks as he stands from the bed. “Sammy, why don’t you take a break?”

Sam notices Dean approaching and he knows that with that smirk his brother definitely wants something. Sam quickly abounds what he is doing in favor of indulging Dean, and he really does need a break. He smiles at him and Sam’s voice gets all low and musky. “Yeah? And what would we do?”

Dean closes the distance between them and leans down until he is face to face with Sam and hovers close to his lips as he whispers. “I can think of a few things.” They haven’t had full on sex, but more often than not, and especially after a hunt, they would give each other hand jobs and blow jobs.  Dean kisses Sam smoothly at first, but once Sam gets with the program and stands to allow Dean better access, the kiss deepens.

Their tongues battle for control as they kiss. Dean’s hand move around Sam’s hair and neck, and Sam takes a hold of Dean’s waist and pulls him closer deepening the kiss. They whimper and moan as the intensity of the kiss gets to them and they fall apart in each other’s arms.

Dean loves holding on to his brother like this. He is becoming more comfortable with the whole gay incest thing, although he refuses to name it or so much as show any indication of it in public. Sam is a little more open to public displays of affection. Having attended college he was expose to more gay couples than Dean, so for him it is not as difficult to accept a relationship with another man. The brother thing, well, let’s not even think about it. The less thought is placed on the incest card, the less of a freak Sam feels. But none of that matter now, as Dean runs his hands down Sam’s back until he reaches his ass and squeezes.

“Hmm. I definitely like this break.” Sam says in between kisses and a smile is playing on his face.

“I had a feeling you would.” Dean responses as he guides Sam to their king sizes bed. They figure they would upgrade to the king bed as supposed to pay double for an extra bed that would remain unused.  

Dean guides Sam to sit on the bed and straddles him when Sam hits the edge of the bed. They never break the kiss, only when they start panting and need to gasp for air. Dean moves to Sam’s throat and he could hear him moan and whimper, he smiles knowing perfectly well what he is doing to Sam.  He gives Sam’s throat one more quick kiss before he stands up in order to strip out his shirt and jeans.

Sam is staring at Dean and his eyes are blown wide from lust. Sam lets an involuntary “ummm,” as he sees Dean strip in front of him.  

“You like what you see Sam?” Dean smirks smugly and he makes a show of getting the rest of his pants and boxers off very slowly.

Sam smiles because he really like what he sees. “You are beautiful.”

Dean suddenly feels shy as he cheeks warm up and blood floods to them. Sam’s gaze and his words are enough to make him blush. Feeling exposed, “You need some help with your clothes?”

Sam looks down at himself and he is indeed still dress. “I wouldn’t oppose some help.”

Dean smirks and he moves to remove Sam’s shirt, they kiss again and Sam moves further to the bed. Now that Sam is lying on the bed, Dean straddles him once more and they continue their passionate kiss. Dean’s hands are all over Sam’s hair and he pulls at it exposing Sam’s neck. Sam moves his hands up and down Dean’s naked skin and his entire body feels in flame from the heat that Dean is generating. He wants the remaining of his clothes gone and he moves his hands to open his fly when he feels Dean’s hand, meaning that he wants to do it. It takes some maneuvering, but when they are finally skin to skin completely, is like feeling every nerve in your body come to life and a ignite the most intense of sensations.

“Ummmm Sammy. You feel good, taste good.” Dean says and he is kissing and tasting every inch that is Sam’s long frame. He kisses the down his neck and bites and sucks on one of his nipples. Sam is moaning and Dean moves further down until he reaches the scar on Sam’s stomach. Dean’s eyes find Sam’s and he licks the scar and then places the gentleness of kisses. Sam blushes a little remembering the reason for that particular scar and remembering that he had been pregnant.

Dean continues to move down further and he bites the inside of his thighs before he places a kiss to the base of Sam’s hard cock. Sam lets out the most pornographic sound that Dean has ever heard. He never thought that Sam had it in him.

“God Dean I want…”

Dean is sucking on Sam’s thighs marking him and his hand is idly stroking Sam’s cock until he moves a little lower to softly touch Sam’s pink and tight hole. “Tell me what you want Sam?” Dean moves his hands up and down Sam’s body and he goes back to Sam’s face and kisses him again, when he parts he looks at Sam’s face and he teases his hole one more time. He looks at Sam with eyes full of adoration and devotion, and he still can’t believe that he belongs to Dean. “Tell me Sam, I’ll do anything.”

“Uhmm,” Sam arcs his head back but he is still staring into Dean’s green blown to lust and love eyes. The pleasure that he feels from just Dean’s hands has him so hard, that even if Dean does nothing more  than just stare at him like he is everything, he is afraid that he will cum like a teenage virgin. He wants more he needs more. “More, need more.”

Dean takes that as an affirmation and he plants a kiss on Sam’s lips before he moves away from Sam just enough to look for lube in the night stand. He opens the bottle and drops some on his fingers and he teases Sam’s hole once more before sliding a finger in. The finger slides in easily, and he moves it in and out a few times and realizes that he wouldn’t be hurting Sam by adding another. When he adds a second finger he feels Sam’s move with him in an attempt to bury himself in dean’s fingers and he lets out a loud moan.  

They haven’t gone this far before since that first night more than a year ago and Dean knows that this time is different. They both want this and need it more than ever, and come the morning they wouldn’t regret it.

Dean loves the sounds that Sam is generating. He moves his fingers in and out and he too moan as he kiss Sam’s thighs and his belly and makes his way to his mouth. Dean adds a third finger and he encounters resistance. “Relax Sam, I got you.”

Sam grunts, he has finger himself before but Dean is going in deep, but he relaxes. Dean moves his fingers inside of Sam and when Sam lefts out a loud whimper he knows that he has hit his spot and his face is just breathtaking.   _‘My god Sam is beautiful,’_ he thinks.  

“Dean, please.” Sam doesn’t know how he still coherent, but all he knows is that he wants Dean buried inside of him. He wants to feel like the first time they connected like this, like that first time that they kissed and made loved. He wants to feel Dean cum inside of him. He wants to feel Dean connected to him, like no other has and never will. “’m ready. Want this, want you.”

“I got you Sam.” And Sam’s plead sends a surge of pleasure right down to Dean’s groin and he wants nothing more than to fill Sam up, make love to him, make him his. Always. He removes his fingers and he hears Sam make a whiny noise and he doesn’t want to keep Sam waiting. His own cock twitches at the anticipation of being inside Sam for the first time in so long. He is so hard and he knows that he can only have his relieve once Sam has been taken care off.

Dean takes a hold of his dick and he coats it with lube before he guides it to the entrance of Sam’s now stretched hole. Sam has his legs around Dean’s back and is as open as he can manage to give Dean enough room to move. Dean pushes through the first layers of muscles and it slides in just as easily has his fingers. He pushes a little further and he hears Sam whimpers. He looks at Sam’s face and he sees the discomfort. “We can stop,” Dean tells Sam. He really wants this, but no more than he wants to protect his brother from being hurt.

Sam shakes his head and he repeats again, “I want you like this… just go slow okay?”

Dean nods, “Relax for me.” And as soon as Sam does, Dean tries to once again push against him and he goes all the way in without much effort. Dean gives Sam and himself a couple of seconds to adjust or he feels like he would just cum from the mere tightness and the knowledge that he is inside Sam. Dean is overwhelmed by Sam’s heart and he can barely believe that he is this close to Sam.

Sam is grateful that Dean gives him a minute to adjust to the foreign mass inside of him. He feels some displeasure, but when he relaxes enough he nods to Dean, signaling that he is ready and for him to move.

Dean takes his right hand and cups Sam’s cheeks and they stare at each other before Dean captures Sam’s mouth in a kiss. Dean moves his cock just far enough out that he doesn’t slip out and he slams back into Sam. He hears Sam gasp at the sudden movement, and Dean does it again and again until he has a rhythm going. When he hits Sam’s prostate on the fifth thrust he once again sees Sam’s hips move involuntarily to try and reach the spot again. Dean like any good lover, obliges and with every thrust he hits Sam’s sweet spot.

They are both panting and their breathing is ragged. Dean moans Sam’s name and he is so close to his climax. He grabs hold of Sam’s dick in between their stomach and he begins to pump up and down until he matches to the rhythm of his thrust. Sam is so close and he keeps saying Dean’s name like a mantra. God it feels good.  

With a couple of more strokes Sam comes undone and the sight in front of Dean is enough to drive his own climax home. They both black out for a couple of minutes and Dean is still buried inside Sam when he comes around. This has been by far the most intense and satisfying orgasm of his life.  Sam is coming around when he feels Dean sliding off of him to slump on the bed next to him. They are both looking at the ceiling until Sam looks to Dean with a smile on his face, “That was…”

“I know,” Is all that Dean manages to say, because how does one really describe what just happened to them. How does one put into words what it feels like to be so connected to someone that every inch of your body feels to be radiating sparks of electricity and how when connected that electricity seems to stabilize and run wild all at once.

They couldn’t have enough of each other and round two and three came soon after. And is nearly two am when they decide that they should probably get some rest.

Sam is the first to wake up and he goes out to get some breakfast for them both. When he returns to the motel he sees Dean in a towel and his hair is all wet and drops of water slid down his naked torso. Sam licks his lips and moves close to Dean and he buries his face in Dean’s neck. Sam inhales, and Dean smells of soap and the undeniable smell that is all Dean and he lightly bites and then kisses his neck. “Umm you smell good.”

Dean moves his head just enough to give Sam room around his neck and he closes his eyes savoring Sam’s proximity. “Where were you? I was hoping for some morning sex.” Dean says and his voice sounds sinful.

“Umm,” Sam kiss Dean’s neck and moves up until he reaches his lips. “That can be arranged,” Sam says as he puts a hand on Dean’s hips and he drops his towel to reveal Dean’s very impressive erection.

Dean hears a noise at the same time that Sam does. His hunter instincts allow him to move fast and he quickly wraps the towel around his middle, he faces the noise and he remains in front of Sam.

Out of nowhere there is this sort of vortex by where their closest is supposed to be. And this strange man drops in front of Sam and Dean. The brother see him stand up and they both reach for their weapons.

The stranger stands and he is panting as if he has been running. He looks at the two men in front of him noticing their appearance, but having no time to contemplate anything further. “Please time is of the essence. Which of you is John Winchester?” The stranger speaks.

“Neither,” came the reply from Sam.

Dean has a confused expression on his face as he turns to Sam for just a second. Sam looks at Dean and is like they have always been able to do; they have a conversation just with one look. _‘How does he know dad?’_ is the common though.

“This is impossible. What did I do wrong?” The stranger begins talking to himself trying to understand how he ended in the motel room in front of these two strangers.

Dean quickly moves towards the stranger and pins the man to the wall, and pays little regards to the fact that he is half naked.

“Who the hell are you mister?” Dean snarls at the strange man as he intensifies his grip on the man’s chest.

“Please, I can assure you there is no need for violence. But one of you must know John Winchester.”

Sam walks up to the stranger and positions himself close to Dean. “I tell you what, when one of us falls out of your closet, then you can ask the question.”

“Yes, my apologies.” The stranger is feeling a tad uncomfortable having Dean pressed upon him in just a towel. “Is it absolutely essential sir, that you keep your hand on me?” Says the stranger first looking in Sam’s direction and then moving his head back to speak to Dean.

Dean reluctantly lets go of the stranger, but remains close enough in case he tries anything.

“Thank you.” The stranger straightens out his suit and then continues to speak. “This seems to be an unfortunate misunderstanding. I will be on my way.”

“You are not going anywhere until you answer some of questions.” Dean tells him and between him and Sam they trap the guy, so that he has no access to the door. Dean manages to pull out a pair of handcuffs from the duffle bag on the bed and tries to cuff the stranger. Unfortunately the stranger manages to pull a fast one and ends up cuffing both brothers to one of the chairs. “How did he do that? You have to be kidding me!" Dean yells, not believing that after all his training he gets outsmarted by a strange man in a suit.

When they finally free themselves off the cuffs, Dean dresses as rapidly as humanly possible and they go outside to find the stranger trying to hotwire the impala, which does not go well with Dean when he notices that the man had broken his window to get into the car. Dean points the gun to the man and makes him get out of the car.

“I take it that this is your car?” When the man sees Dean nod, he lowers his head, puts up his hands in surrender and sighs. Between Dean and Sam they take the stranger back into their motel room and tied him to a chair. It is time to get some answers.

Dean makes a cut on the man’s right arm with his silver knife and then tosses holy water at the tied man.

“And there we go with the holy water.” Says the man, who is exasperated and needs to find John Winchester immediately.

“He is clean,” Sam say as he shares a look with Dean.

“Now you are going to talk.” Dean points his gun at the man.

“I’m quite certain that this is beyond your understanding my alpha-male-monkey friend.”

By this point Dean is seriously angry. Not only is this guy somehow linked to the supernatural, but he has assaulted him, knows who his dad is and damaged his baby. Dean gets really close to his face and points the gun even closer. “Let me tell you what I do understand. Some asshat pops out of my closet asking about my dad and smashes up ride. So why am I not getting violent again?”

The stranger looks at Dean with both a surprise and confused look. “John Winchester is your father?”

“John is dead.” Dean straightens out and gives the man space to talk.

“No that cannot be.” Says the stranger and he has a sad look on his face.

“And what’s it to you” Asks Sam when Dean finally clears away from the man.

“Everything,” came the reply from the stranger.

Dean looks at Sam for a moment and notices his _‘huh’_ look and before his attention is reverted back to the stranger.

“My name is Henry Winchester and John Winchester is my… was my son.” Says the stranger and that seems to have caused a reaction from Dean. Well hell, he has his grandfather in the flesh, how is that even possible?

Sam is just as equally puzzled as Dean is. They take Henry to a nearby dinner, where he explains how he time travelled by taping to the power of his soul and how he was running away from a very powerful demon named Abaddon. Fortunately he was able to escape her when he was transporter to his closest kin.

Henry mentions he is a part of some organization call Men of Letters who have devoted their lives to researching the existence of the supernatural. He mentions that they had a base in Lebanon, Kansas that contains every object, scroll, and spell collected by the order for the last one thousand years.

The boys tell them a little about themselves and about John. They talk about Mary and how she died by the hands of a demon and how John had become a hunter because of that, obsessing about it until both Sam and Dean were also drag into that world. They tell Henry that they had lost their family and they were the only ones left. They don’t mention Dea, not yet.

Henry is completely amaze at the gadgets of this time and the size of a computer and phones and the designs of cars.  When they return to the motel is quite dark outside and they request a change of room with two queens, Henry never questions why they only had one bed to begin with. Henry instantly falls asleep in one of the beds, probably due to the exertion of time traveling and tapping into the energy of his soul.

Sam sits on the couch in their motel room “His driver’s license says that he is Henry Winchester from Normal, Illinois, he knows dad’s birthday and where he was born. God Dean he is our grandfather.”

As soon as Dean found out that Henry is his grandfather he despises the man immediately. “Sam, I don’t like him.” Dean says has he paces around the room with one eye in the direction of the sleeping man and the other focus on his brother. “Anything dad had to say about the man was bad things, and let’s not forget how he abandoned his family when dad was a kid.”

Sam shifts and allows Dean’s pacing. “What if he didn’t leave on purpose? What if he time travelled here and got stuck?” Sam knows that everything has a logical explanation and believe it or not having his grandfather here is making a lot of weird sense. What was becoming harder to believe is that he had hunters in both sides of his family. “Dude can our lives get any more complicated?”

Dean snorts, “You’re telling me,” and he continues to pace around the couch next to Sam. They could have their own reality show on how dynamic their lives are. “But even if he does get stuck here he is not getting any special treatment from me, grandfather or not. For all we know he led the demon bitch straight to us.”

“But don’t you think the demon would have pop out right after he did? I don’t think she got through. And I get it. We don’t know him and we need to keep an eye on him, but he is family you know?” Sam reaches for Dean and pulls him down to where he is seating. He places a hand on his thighs pleading for understanding. After all they have been through, their family is for once expanding as oppose to decreasing.

Dean huffs out air through his mouth and once again looks at the stranger in the bed. He doesn’t like the situation but he can’t deny that his other connection to his dad, aside from Sam, is sleeping a few feet away. Dean gets closer to Sam and buries his face in the crock of Sam’s neck and says, “So what Sammy, you want us to be some big old happy family?”

This is one of the very rare shows of affection they have had since the whole cross the line relationship thing started, well aside from having sex. But today has been an eventful day and they both need the reassurance that they have each other and that they can figure things out together.

Sam moves his hand from Dean’s thighs and lifts it to Dean’s hair. He passes his hands through Dean’s hair and soothing it down as he moves even closer to his brother and almost whispers his next few words.  “What if I do? After all we’ve been through and all the people we have lost. Don’t you think that we deserve this, and that Dea deserves a family?”

Dean nods and slowly lifts his head in favor of looking at Sam. “Yeah we do, just don’t expect me to call him grandpa.” The last couple of years have suck to put it mildly and now that he is a father, he is looking at life a little different. Is not just him and Sam anymore, they have to think about their little girl. “Speaking of family, we should call Amelia and see how are girls are doing.”

“Dean in case you haven’t notice is close to midnight. And you know how fussy Dea gets if she is awaken from her sleep.”

“Seriously? No wonder I’m so tired. And yeah, she takes after you. You were the same way when you were a kid. It's been a long day, what do you say if we call it a night and phone Amelia tomorrow morning.” Dean says as he gets up and offers a hand for Sam to stand up.

Sam looks at the offered and hand and then at the sleeping Henry and he shakes his head at Dean. “No way man.” Sam looks back at Dean and whispers “there is no way I’m sharing a bed with you, when our grandfather is sleeping in the bed next to us. I’ll sleep on the couch.”

Dean drops his hands to his side. “Oh come on, the man is dead to the world. All we have to do is wake up before he does.”

“No. What if he wakes up before we do? How do we explain why two grown ass men are sharing a bed? No, I’ll stay right here.” Says Sam as he once again shakes his head. “And I know what you are doing. You would normally shy away from displays of affection. I’m pretty sure you want him to find out about us, and have him dump us before he or we become too attached.”

Dean turns away from Sam and begins walking towards the other bed. “Suit yourself. I’m going to sleep in the big comfortable bed. I don’t want to you hear you complain in the morning about how lumpy that couch was and how you messed up your back.” Maybe Sam is right, but he isn’t going to tell that to his face. His last year in purgatory still plague him with nightmares, and excuse me if he doesn’t want other people knowing just how vulnerable he could be.  Not to mention that after all the years of just being him and Sam, for Sam to accept a complete stranger into their lives is a little unnerving.

“You know that if he sticks around we are going to have to tell him sooner or later.” Dean says to Sam as he begins to undress and slip into more comfortable clothes to sleep in.

Sam doesn’t say anything else. Instead he moves to retrieve his duffel bag and takes out a pair of sweats and a white t shirt before he moves towards the bathroom. Of course that they would have to tell Henry about their relationship and explaining Deanna is definitely going to be an interesting event. But not today, and not anytime soon, at least until he isn’t so much of a stranger and before Henry decides to leave them before he gets to know them.

All three Winchesters sleep through the night and fortunately for them Abbadon does not go through the same portal that brought Henry to their present.

Sam is the first to wake up. Sleeping in the tiny couch was not fun at all, and although he slept through the night he has all sorts of kinks and knots on his back. He takes a quick shower and decides to get some breakfast to bring back to the motel before Dean and Henry wake up.

The diner is a few minutes away by car and by the time he gets back to the motel both men seem to have shower and changed. Henry is currently wearing some of Dean’s clothes. Sam supposes that they should probably go shopping and get him something better to wear. “Morning, I come baring breakfast. How did you sleep Henry?” Sam sets the food on the table and begins taking out the food from the plastic bags.

“I slept well Samuel, thank you.” Henry feels strange wearing Dean’s clothes and is still a little shaken about the whole situation with Abbadon and finding out that his son is dead, and dead because he couldn’t protect him.

“Good, and is Sam.” Sam sits in one of the chairs around the table and pulls out two containers with stacks of pancakes. He sets one down in front of him and the other to the seat cross his. “I wasn’t sure what you would like, and though coffee and pancakes would be a safe bet.”

“Coffee and pancakes are fine. Thank you!” Henry moves towards the table and sits in the chair where the offered food is set in front of him.

“Oh thank god, breakfast. What you get me Sammy.” Dean moves towards the two men and table with the food and takes out the remaining food still in the plastic bag. “I knew there was a reason why I kept you around.” Dean smirks as he takes out two bacon and egg sandwiches and grabs one of the cups of black coffee.

Sam looks at his brother and smile. “Oh so all I’m good for is putting food in your stomach.”

“Oh I don’t know Sam; last I remember that’s not such a bad talent.” Dean has the audacity to wink at Sam as he speaks, knowing perfectly well that it would push one of Sam’s buttons.

Sam’s face flames up and turns bright red as he remember the night where they had use chocolate syrup in one of their sexual explorations. “Dean!” Sam’s voice sounded half embarrassed and half _‘I’m going to kill you if you keep talking.’_

Henry just observes the interaction between the brothers and doesn’t think twice about Dean’s comment.

Sam in an attempt to change the conversation to something less embarrassing directs the conversation back to Henry. “So have you given any thought about what you are going to do now?” Sam slices his pancake and brings his fork to his mouth as he gives his grandfather, _‘god that’s weird,’_ a chance to talk.

“I’ve been thinking that there is a possibility that I will never get back to my time. As you say, John though I had abandon him, and I would have never have done that if I had any control.” Henry lifts eyes to look first at Sam and then back to Dean. “I am still at a loss of what to do next, except to exhaust all resources and try and get back to my time. I can fix this, I can give John a better life and I can defeat Abaddon.”

“Look, we need to do one thing at a time. We finish our breakfast and then yesterday you mention that there this base for The Men of Letters. How do we get in? We might be able to find something there that can help us get you back.” Dean says to Henry and feels slightly saddened by the man in front of him as he is beginning to understand.

“There is a key. The location of the key and the base had been a secret to all but a selected few. It was not until one of the last members of the order was dying that he confide in me.”  Henry looks down at his pockets and pulls out a small golden box. He sets it on the table and says a few words in Latin until the box makes a click sound. Henry opens the box to reveal a silver key. Henry looks up at Sam and Dean as he speaks, “It was his dying wish that I keep it safe.”

“Okay. So all we have to do is get to Kansas.” Sam says and is almost giddy because he is already missing Dea.  “I’m going to call Amelia and tell her we will be hitting town today.” Sam gets up from the table, breakfast half eaten, in favor of retrieving his phone and calling his daughter.

“Hey! I want to talk to Dea before you hang up.” Dean yells after he sees how fast his brother moved to get to his phone.

It is Saturday morning and when Sam dials the house number Amelia picks up after the second ring.

 _“Hello”_ Sam can hear Amelia on the line.

“Hey Amelia.” Sam walks outside the motel to talk freely.

_“Hey Sam, miss me already?”_

“You know I do. How are my favorite two girls?”

_“We are okay. I was just fixing us some breakfast. But she has been a bit fussy today no matter what I do she either cries or clings to me. I think she is missing her daddies.”_

“I miss you both. That’s why I’m calling. We are heading to Kansas today.”

_“You found Kevin?”_

“No. Not yet, but we did run into an unexpressed person. I’ll tell you all about it once we get home. Put Dea on the phone I want to say hi to her” Sam hears cries in the background and knows that something must be wrong with Dea.

“Hey sweetheart is dad. What’s wrong huh? You miss me already? Don’t worry I’ll see you today, promise.” Sam tries to calm the crying baby.  He hears Amelia back on the phone. “What’s wrong with Dea? She is not sick is she?”

“ _Honestly I don’t know what is wrong. She doesn’t have a fever or anything. But it is possible that she started teething already and is just in pain. I was going to get her baby Tylenol on our way to the park.”_

“Yeah, I’m sure is just that, but I prefer to take her to the pediatrician when we get back. We should be getting to Kansas by tonight. Just call me when you get back from the park.” Sam enters the motel room. “Stay on the line Dean wants to say hi. I’ll see you soon and give a big kiss to Dea for me.”

_“Okay Sam I will and I’ll see you later.”_

“Dean here,” Sam extends his arm to hand the phone to Dean. Dean gets up from his seat and reaches for the phone. “I don’t think Dea is feeling too good.” Sam tells his brother.

Dean covers the mouth of the phone. His face immediately changes to one of concern. The same concerned face that he would get when he worries about Sam. “What’s wrong with her?”

“I don’t know. Amelia says that she won’t stop crying. I want to take her to the doctors when we get back.” If Sam was a worry person before, now that he is a father, that ability has only intensified times a hundred.

Dean takes a sit on the side of one of the beds, while Sam moves back to the table to keep Henry company.

“Is this Amelia woman your wife?” Henry asks remembering how excited Sam was when he got his phone to talk to her.

Sam chuckles because poor innocent Henry doesn’t know how much of a freak show his life really is. “Uh no, far from it actually.” Sam sees the confuse look on Henry’s face and he add, “It’s complicated.”

Both Sam and Henry turn when they hear Dean humming to the phone.  Sam smiles, because he knows Dean is trying to sooth Dea and get her to stop crying. His life may be a freak show, but he would not change it for the world.

“ _’As Times Goes By’._ ” Henry says to Sam when he hears Dean humming.

“Huh?” Sam asks confused by Henry’s comment.

“That tune, is from Casablanca.” Henry offers as explanation.

“Oh yeah, dad use to whistle it from time to time.” Sam finishes his breakfast before he starts piling all the containers and wrappers in order to throw them out.

“Your father, after he saw ‘ _Abbott and Costello Meet the Mummy’_ at the drive-in one night” Henry straightens out in his chair and his face lights up at the thought of John as a kid. “He was so scared, so I got him this music box that played that song. I play it for him every night before he went to sleep and told him that it would keep the nightmares away.”

“Is hard to believe that dad was ever scared of anything.” Sam says and in that same moment he sees Dean heading back to the table and he extends his arms to hand Sam his phone back.

“I was able to calm her down. But what do you say if we pack our stuff and get on the road.”

They pack their belongings and in less than fifteen minutes they are on the road and heading back to Kansas. Dean is behind the wheel, Sam is next to him in the passage side and Henry sits in the back. They are on the road for four hours before they stop. Dean gets out of the car and while the Impala is filled with gas he goes into the little store and buys some snacks. Henry stays by the car and Sam pulls out his phone to call Amelia back.

Dean walks out of the store with a bag full of goodies, but he stops in front of Sam when he sees his worried face. “Sam you okay?”

“Yeah, is just Amelia said that she would call me back when she got back from the park. They should have been back my now, but she hasn’t called. I tried reaching her a couple of times, but it always goes to her voicemail.”

“I’m sure they are just having too much fun at the park to return the call. Don’t worry we’ll be there in a couple of hours. “

Sam would be assured by his brother’s words if he didn’t have such a horrible feeling. And after all he has been through he starts to trust in those feeling.  He nods nevertheless. “Yeah.”

Henry has remained quiet through most of the ride because until they get to the bunker he is a sitting duck. The only reason he did the spell is because he thought that by finding John it would help him defeat Abaddon, but if cannot return to his time he is pretty much useless.

Once they get back in the car Sam attempts to fall asleep, because if he remains awake he will come up with a million horrible explanations as to why Amelia is not picking up the phone.  When he wakes up he notices that the sun is still out. Sam looks at his watch and realizes that he has been out for 2 hours and is currently 4pm and they have been on the road for 5 hours.

Sam straightens out in his seat and passes the back of his hand through his mouth in an attempt to wipe away the bit of drool. He yawns and looks at Dean. “Has she called?”

“Huh? Has who called?

“Amelia, has she called?”

Dean shakes his head, “No Sam.”

Sam searches through his jean pockets until he locates his phone. He speed dials the number and all he hears is Amelia’s voicemail. “She should have called by now.” Sam says almost to himself.

“Sam stop worrying, they’re fine. And you need calm down because you are making me nervous.” While Sam is clearly radiating his distress, Dean in the other hand is a worrying in the inside kind of guy, and his insides are twisting in knots at the possibility that anything bad has happened to his daughter.

“Sorry, but I think something is wrong. Amelia should have call by now or at least picked up my phone calls. She knows that I worry.” Sam says as he dials Amelia once more.

“Look, we will get to Kansas in less than two hours. Why don’t you try to sleep some more and I’ll wake you once we get there?” Dean says to Sam as he tries to keep it together for his brother even though he too has a bad feeling.

Sam shakes his head because he can’t possibly go to sleep when he can’t shake off the feeling that something bad has happened.

Henry, who has remained quiet throughout their whole conversations, speaks up. “What is it that you think has happened?”

“I don’t know, but I’ve been having a feeling all day. And usually my bad feelings amount to horrible things.

Dean presses the accelerator in hope of making it to Kansas sooner rather than later and hopes to god that they are not stopped by police.

Sam is pretty much out of the car before Dean even parks in the driveway. He runs towards the front door and he pounds at the door as he tries opening it with his keys. The living room is dark and when he moves inside and turns on the light he becomes immobile and it becomes harder to breathe. Sam hears whimpering and can tell that Jack is in the room.  Sam barely registers Dean moving past him and yelling out for Amelia and Dea as he searches each room. Henry is also moving around each entrance. Sam already knows what happens even before he hears Henry say “sulfur.” And Sam knows by just looking at the disarranged furniture that Amelia and Dea are no longer here.

Dean is freaking the hell out, because the first thing he sees is the living room turned upside down, and then he sees his brother in the middle of the living room in a completely catatonic state. He moves around the house looking for any sign of Amelia or Dea but finds nothing, until he hears Henry say sulfur. Demons. Demons have taken Amelia and his little girl. Dean quickly moves towards Sam and positions himself to block the mess from Sam’s line of vision. “Sam! Sam look at me.” Dean shakes his brother a little in an attempt to get a response from him. “We are going to get them back you hear me. We’ll get her back.”

“Dean…” Sam’s voice sounds like when he was five and had woken up from a horrible nightmare.

Dean guides Sam to the couch until he is sitting down. “Now breathe okay, we’ll get her back, both of them.” Dean keeps repeating it like a mantra, trying to make himself believe it, because if he said it enough times then maybe it would be true.

“No Dean she is gone, and is all my fault.” Tears fall freely from Sam’s face.

Dean gently wipes away Sam’s tears and tries to keep his brother calm although he is not faring much better himself. “No Sammy, you didn’t do this, demons did. And I promise you I am going to find whatever did this and kill them you hear me. And we will find Dea.”  Dean drops his hands to grab hold of Sam’s. “Do you trust me?”

Sam looks at their jointed hands and then looks up at the Dean’s worried face and replies, “Always.”

Dean nods and a tear falls from his eyes. Sam wipes it away with his free hand and Dean leans into the touch. “We’ll find her.”

Sam nods, because that is all it takes. He believes Dean that they will find their daughter and Amelia still alive.

Henry knows all the signs and knows that demons had broken through the salt lines and that they had taken someone precious to the Winchester brothers. He also notices the display of emotions between them, which quite frankly is making him somewhat uncomfortable. Back in his time two men just did not display such feelings towards each other despite being siblings. “Who are they? Who did they take?”

The brothers were oblivious that anyone else was in the room, and it is not until Henry speaks that they remember that he is in the room. Sam drops his hand and separates a little from his brother, but their thighs are still touching. Sam’s voice is hoarse and has to clear his throat before he tries to speak. “They took our daughter.”

 _‘Our daughter?_ ’ Henry thinks and is instantly confused because whose daughter? When he asked Sam if he was married he had said no. He shakes his head as if trying to clear it. “Amelia is your daughter?”

Dean is the one that responds. “Amelia is a good friend. She was looking after Deanna. Deanna is Sam’s kid.” And what he says is technically not a lie. He just doesn’t want to go on full explanation mode when he is trying to figure out who the hell kidnapped his daughter.

Sam looks at Dean like he wants to protest and correct him by saying the Deanna is their daughters, that she was a combination of Dean and him. Sam remains quite because he also doesn’t feel up to having to explain himself to Henry.

A moment later the house phone rings. Dean is the one that moves towards it and grabs it before anyone else. “Who the hell is this?”

_“Dean, I see that you have not lost your manners and indeed not dead after all.”_

“Crowley! Where are they?” Dean growls and wants to scream, because when he gets his hands on that sonovabitch he is going to kill him. Dean feels Sam standing next to him and he faces his brother.

_“Now now let’s not get feisty. All in good time. ”_

“What do you want with them?” Dean’s voice is cold and if that tone could kill, Crowley would have definitely have dropped dead.  Meanwhile Sam is trying to maintain his cool and not just snap the phone from Dean’s hand and demand that Crowley release Dea and Amelia.

 _“With them? Nothing at all, but I do want something. I want you to hand over the prophet and the tablet.”_ Crowley sounds smug knowing very well that he holds all the cards.

“Kevin? And what the hell makes you think that we know where he is?” By this point he puts the phone on speaker, knowing that his brother wants to know what’s going on.

_“If you don’t know, find him if you ever want to see little miss sunshine and little baby Winchester.”_

“Don’t you dare touch them you hear me.” Dean screams into the phone. “If Dea is missing so much as a tiny hair from her little head, I will end you.”

_“There is no need for violence. Just deliver me the prophet and the tablet and no one needs to get hurt.”_

“How do I know that they are still alive?” Dean is gripping the phone very tightly, any more pressure and it would break.

_“What you don’t trust me Dean? Don’t answer that. Fine here…”_

Dean can hear a baby’s cry in the background and then he hears Amelia’s voice. _“Dean?”_

“Amelia” Sam practically screams the name.

_“Sam? Oh my god”_

“Amelia are you okay? Is Deanna okay?”

_“I’m fine but Dea won’t stop crying.”_

_“There. Satisfied? Bring me what I want and I’ll let them go.”_

Sam wanted to have the last word, but Crowley hangs up before he has a chance to say anything. “Dean give me the keys.” Sam is only half thinking. His rational side of his brain is telling him to calm down in order to think properly the other side is raging and refuses to see reason beyond finding that damn demon and killing him.

“Sam no, we need to think about this.”

“What is there to think about Dean? He has Deanna and Amelia and we need to get them back.”

“Don’t you think I know that?” Dean almost screams at Sam, because he is acting like it isn’t his daughter that they have taken. “Don’t you think that I want them back just as badly? But we need to think about this.  He is not going to hand them over unless we get a hold of Kevin first.”

“We have been looking for Kevin for the last three weeks, and we don’t have the faintest idea where he is or if he is still alive. I want her back Dean.” Sam says exasperated.

Dean calms himself enough to do the same for his brother. Dean puts his hand in Sam’s shoulder and pulls him in for a hug. “We will get her back Sam.”

Sam holds Dean for his dear life and he sobs. “God Dean, I don’t know what I would do if something happens to her.”

Dean holds Sam just as tightly and rubs a soothing hand down his back. We wants to sob too because he feels useless, but he knows that he has to hold it together for Sammy and he needs a clear head to think about what needs to be done.

Henry just like before is at a loss about what to do or what to say. He doesn’t know who this Crowley character his or why he has kidnap Sam’s daughter. But he can’t blame the brothers for leaning into each other at such a difficult time.

Sam extracts himself from Dean and wipes his face with his hands. “Okay let’s think about this.”

Sam sits on the couch and Dean sits next to him. Henry takes a sit opposite them. “Sam we will get your daughter back and I will help in any way I can.” Henry tells the men in front of him.

“Thanks Henry, it would mean a lot to us.” Sam looks to Henry and he has finally calmed down enough to try and generate a plan.

“I was listening to the conversation and if you need to find this Kevin guy, there might be a spell in the bunker that can help us track him.”

“Are you for real?” Dean could kiss the man, because after three weeks of absolutely zilch on the whereabouts of Kevin, a spell would do the trick.

“Yes very much so, as I mentioned before the base has research that goes back thousands of years. We will find something that can help you locate Kevin and help us get Sam’s daughter back.”

“Okay let’s go then. The faster we get to Kevin the quicker we can come up with a plan that does not involve leaving anyone behind with Crowley.” Dean says as he stands up and already has the Impala’s keys at hand.

They can’t take Jack on the road with them, so they leave them at a neighbor’s house, with the promise of coming back for him within a couple of days. It is six pm and the sun is setting as the three Winchesters get in the car determined to get Amelia and Deanna back.

 


	7. On the Search for Kevin

Dean pulls the impala in front of a very strange structure. He steps out of the car and notices the door to what he presumes is the entrance to the bunker. The place looks old, like it hasn’t been occupied by anyone for years. “When was the last time anyone set a foot in this place?”

Sam stands next to Dean and he too assesses the entrance. “It looks like it’s been close down for 50 or 60 years.”

“But that can’t be.” Henry shakes his head because the more he is in this future the less he is liking things. Not only exists the possibility that he may never go back to his timeline, but to know that his life’s work and those of his mentors have been forgotten for so long is just unacceptable. “You mean to tell me that for 60 years there has been no Men of Letters?”

“Sorry Henry, but for us it’s the first time hearing that there was such an order, and we have been hunting since we were kids. Whoever was in charge back then most have died or they just stopped the research.” Sam points out after having done some research the night before on just who these Men of Letters were.

Dean starts to walk towards the entrance and says to no one in particular, “What do you say if we open this place up once again?”

Henry hands the key to Dean and when they enter the place is dark and it seems to be an underground base.

The three of them separate each with a flashlight on hand. Sam is the one that finds a power lever and once he flips it the entire place lights up.

“Whoa, I think we found batman’s cave.” Dean smirks as he looks around his surroundings.

“Huh, I can’t believe this place still has power.” Sam moves around the room inspecting everything. He notices that everything is covered in spider webs and some of the furniture and computer equipment is covered with white sheets. He lifts some of them and then coughs when he inhales too much dust.

“Well let’s also hope it has hot water, because I can definitely use a shower.”  Dean goes to explore the rest of the place and he realizes just how big the bunker really is. For starters he has passed more than five different bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, a big kitchen and a library big enough to have two levels full of books. ‘Sammy would love this’ he thinks to himself.

When Dean returns to the entrance area he notices Sam seating in the large conference table in the middle of the room and he is booting up his laptop, already ready to start the research.  Henry must be taking a look around. “This place is huge, do you know that it has a kitchen, and Sammy you should see the library, I’m pretty sure is all your dreams come true.”

“My only dream right now is to find Dea.” Sam’s voice sounds a little pissed, but he can’t help it. His brother is acting way too cheery considering the situation and he just can’t stop thinking that his poor little girl has been captured by demons.

“Hey! Look at me.” When Sam looks at him with an expression that could kill Dean feels confused and his next comment is very controlled and said in a soft voice. “Did I do something?”

“No Dean you haven’t done anything, but Crowley has our daughter and you are acting like a damn kid during Christmas by exploring this goddamn bunker.” Sam snaps.

“Sam are you for real?” Dean feels offended because he has been keeping his shit together to not worry his brother more than necessary, and he just can believe that Sam has such a low opinion of him.  “I am just as worried about Dea as you are.” He drops a book in front of Sam that has some useful information about locating non demonic beings. Despite what Sam thinks he was doing research while he was checking up the place.

“Maybe you’ll find something useful there. I’m going to go find Henry and see if he has found anything.” Dean leaves Sam on the table and he is trying really hard to remain cool about all this because it hurts to know that the person he loves most, doubts him so such. And Sam may not really mean anything by his comment but it hurts nevertheless.

“Dean….” Sam sees Dean walking away and he feels like such a jerk. Dean has been nothing but his anchor since he was four and especially now that their daughter is missing. He doesn’t know why he snapped, he is just going to have to make it up to him later.

They spent the entire night doing research and it is not until nearly 11pm that they find something promising.

“Here! I believe I have found the locating spell.” Henry puts the open book in front of Sam and Dean and moves towards the two man.

“The spell seems simple enough, but some of these ingredients are going to take time to acquire.” Sam inspects the spell and it is simply six lines of Latin recited over the ingredients. “Says here we need; the root of an oak over one hundred years old, the tooth of a rabbit, the tear of siren, freshly crushed Honeysuckle, a strand of hair from a psychic, and the photo of the person we are searching for. Some of these will be easy to find, but where are we going to get the tear of a siren?”     

“Ow. Dean, what the hell?” Sam yelps when he feels a slight pull from his head and sees that jerk smiling.

“Well you said we need a hair from a psychic.” Dean smiles as he holds at least three strands of Sam’s hair. Call it a little payback for earlier.

“Sam are you a psychic?” Henry asks half bemused by the childish behavior displayed by the brothers, and half curious.

“You could have warned me. “ Sam tells Dean and then gives his attention to Henry. “And no I’m not psychic. I haven’t had a vision since the yellow eyed demon died.” Sam says a little exasperated just remembering that period of his life.

“If at one point you had visions, we might be able to use your strands for the spell. As for the other ingredients there must be a storage unit somewhere down here, where ingredients are kept. ” Henry says to the guys.

“You mean to tell me we might not even have to hunt down some of these materials?” Dean is relieved because the sooner they get all this stuff, the sooner they can locate Kevin and get Amelia and Deanna back.

Henry straightens out and looks around a couple of times as if he could see the storage unit from where he stands. “Yes. Back in my time we had a similar setup; our research was kept in one room but we also had access to ingredients for enchantments.”

“See Sammy, everything is looking up already. Okay then lets search this place.” Dean separate and Sam is close in toe.

The Winchesters spend almost two hours breaking through locks without keys and another hour searching through all the drawers of the storage unit to find most of the ingredients. Thankfully they found a small bottle filled with what is label as siren tears. They are now only missing the fresh Honeysuckle, which they can pick up early tomorrow.

After a night of gathering information and the ingredients for the enchantment to locate Kevin, Henry says goodnight to the brothers and finds a room to sleep in. It is four in the morning when Sam finally looks up at the clock; he stayed up later than the others in order to foolproof the spell and the ingredients because he doesn’t want anything to delay what they must do tomorrow.

Dean is sleeping in the couch close to the conference table and he has a book on his chest. Sam hears Dean whimpering, tossing and turning and he knows that he is having another nightmare. He is not sure if it is about Purgatory or if it is about Dea. Sam gets up from the chair and walks to the couch where his brother is sleeping. Sam kneels beside Dean and gently pass a hand down his cheeks until sleepy green orbs stare back at him.

“Sammy?” Dean says as he moves his hand to his eyes in an attempt to clear his foggy sight. “What’s going on?”

“Come on lets go to bed.” Sam tells him.

Dean sits up and slowly stands at the same time that Sam does. “I thought you said that we couldn’t share a bed to keep up appearances for grandpa dear.” Is weird to think of Henry as his grandfather considering that all three Winchesters look to be only  couple of years older. If people ask, they might have to say that he is either their brother or a cousin.

“Yea well I changed my mind.” Sam shrugs and adds, “And our daughter is missing.” That is all the explanation he needs. Sam doesn’t need to say that he wants to be close to Dean because he wants reassurance and support for Dean to understand that that is what Sam needs. Sam doesn’t need to tell Dean that just by being close to him he feels safer than anywhere else.

They pick one of the bigger rooms and they strip down to their boxers before climbing into bed. They are lying facing each other and Dean throws his arm around Sam’s waist until they are as close as one.

“Is going to be okay Sammy.” Dean says to half convince his brother and half to convince himself.

Sam nods, and buries his face into Dean’s neck looking for comfort. He is rewarded with Dean holding him closer and receives a kiss to his temple. “I’m sorry Dean about before. I shouldn’t have snapped at you, I’m just so scared. If something happens to her… I can’t lose her.”

Dean repositions himself so that he is lying on his back and he positions Sam half on top of him. Sam’s face remains buried in the crock of Dean’s neck.  “I’m scared too, but she is still alive and I’ll get her back Sammy, I promise.  She is my daughter too; you got to believe that I would do anything to bring her home.”

“I know Dean. I was out of line before. I know you care about her just as much as I do.” Sam says softly already sleepy.

“Good, now let’s get some sleep tomorrow is going to be a long day.” Dean closes his eyes and both brothers fall asleep wrapped around each other.

 

Surprisingly Dean is the first to wake up. He is up and ready with the last ingredients and even managed to pick up some breakfast and a few healthy groceries that would make Sam happy. Dean sets the food on the table and heads back to the room to wake the still sleeping Sam.

Dean seats in the bed and slowly kisses Sam awake. Sam is quick to get with the program and what started it off slow it is quickly picking up speed, and Dean grabs a hold of Sam’s neck and hair to pull him in deeper which elicits some loud moans from Sam.

They separate. “Ummm, morning.” He hasn’t been woken up like this since he was dating Jessica. Sam can definitely get use to this.

Dean has his eyes half close and mouth half open from the intense kiss. “Sammy after we find Dea, how about we move this to the next level.” He hasn’t gotten laid since grandfather Winchester showed up.

“I say that is an excellent suggestion.” Sam kisses Dean once more before he notices that Dean is already showered and dress. “You went out already?”

“Yeah, I got up early and figured that I’ll let you sleep some more while I picked up the rest of the ingredients and grabbed us some food.” Dean stands to give Sam room to move off the bed.

Sam’s back faces Dean as he moves to retrieve a towel from one of the drawers, and figures he could go shower before the day begins. “Is Henry up?” Sam who is already in boxer, strips them off and wraps himself in the towel.

Dean smirks distracted by Sam’s naked frame and imagining how his body would feel beneath him, on top of him, in the shower, on a desk,by the wall. Sam turns to him and gives him a _‘what’_ look. Dean clears his throat because it is so not the time to be thinking about sex. “Uh, not sure. Probably, I did hear some movements in the library when I came in with the food.

Sam knows the look in Dean’s face. And he would totally indulge him if his thoughts were not so preoccupied about bringing Dea home. “Okay. I’m going to take a quick shower, why don’t you go see if Henry needs any help with the preparations. I want to get this done as soon as possible.”

Dean nods, and as he walks towards the door he passes his hands down Sam’s chiseled chest, just because he can and he walks out of the room to head towards the library. He hears Sam chuckle in the background.

Dean walks in the library and sees Henry bend over a book atop the table. “G’morning, how are you holding up?”

Henry looks up from the book he is reading and straightens out the suit that he was wearing when he first arrived. “As good as can be expected, after finding out that my son is dead, that I may never get back to my timeline and that my great granddaughter has been kidnapped by demons.”

Dean smirks and try to see the bright side. “It could be worse…”

Henry finishes, “And is raining outside.”

Dean shakes his head up and down in agreement. “I guess I see your point.” Dean moves closer to him and drops the bag of food and ingredients he had gotten earlier. “I brought food. I figure we can eat while we set up and wait for Sammy.”

“Were you able to obtain the fresh honeysuckles?” Henry asks.

Dean goes through one of the bags and pulls out a bunch of white and pink flowers. “Yep, you think these would be enough? I had to go to three different florists to find them.”

“Yes, these should be more than enough.” He takes the flowers from Dean’s hands. “Thank you. We have all the ingredients and I have been going over the spell in Latin. Once Sam gets here we can begin.”

Dean nods and he takes a sit by the table and begins to munch on his breakfast sandwich. Once Sam joins them, Henry places the freshly crushed honeysuckles, the rabbit’s tooth, a drop of a siren’s tear, a small piece of a one hundred year old oak tree and the picture of Kevin that Sam got from the internet, all into a stainless steel bowl. Henry sets the bowl next to a big map of the United States. No tracking spell can get them to Dea because Crowley intended it that way, but Kevin; they had a much better chance of finding him and as bad as it sounds, using Kevin to get to Crowley.

Sam and Dean stand around Henry and observe as he begins to recite the six lines in Latin.

Perducat nos ad deperditi  (Guide us to what has been lost)

Potest ut rursus (So that it once more can be found)

Nam quaero quae nocere non (I mean no harm to which I seek)

Da mihi ubi recondit (So show me where it hides)

Ostende mihi ubi jacet (Show me where it lies)

Mente vestigium ostende mihi ipsi (Show me the trail to the person in mind)

Henry finishes that last words and lights a match and drops it into the bowl. The ingredients flame up in cyan blue and all three men take a step back. A small light appears above the map and it spirals down until it touches a space in the map. And the the light ignites the entire map at once and leaves only a small piece.

“Huh, San Diego, California.” Sam says wondering what Kevin could be in doing in California.

“Right then.  I say we leave now that is early considering is going to take us at least a day to get there.” Dean moves from the table and is already making his ways towards the exit to go and retrieve his duffel bag.

Sam and Henry do not say anything but they too move towards the exit.

Once they have all they will need packed into the Impala they drive off to San Diego, California with Dean behind the wheel. Sam is anxious throughout most of the trip playing with _‘what ifs’_ in his mind. What if Kevin is not really there? What if they find Kevin, could they really just turn him over to Crowley? What if those damn demons have hurt his little girl? He feels a spark of anger move throughout his body and he shivers at the thought.

Dean first looks at Sam and realizes that his brother is in deep thought. He automatically knows that it has to do with Dea and that he must be feeling all angst and thinking about all the worst case scenarios. Dean glances at the rear-view mirror and notices Henry looking out the window and he takes the opportunity to take one of his hands from the wheel and place it in Sam’s thighs. He squeezes and asks the silent question _‘are you okay?’_

Sam turns his face towards Dean and nods with the silent response of _‘yea I’m okay.’_ Sam places his hand over Dean and squeezes as reassurance. “Why don’t we stop somewhere and get something to eat and I can take over the driving?”

They have been on the road for nearly eleven hours and they have only stopped once for a piss stop and to refill the car’s tank and grab some snacks. And if they are not stopping for the night they at least need something more to eat and add more gas for the Impala.

Dean takes the next right turn somewhere in Utah, in favor of finding a diner. They go in to the first one they see open and move to sit in the booth next to the window.

Sam sees the waitress move towards them and he automatically wants to hurt something because he can already see how she his eyeballing Dean and he is so not in the mood for sharing. Normally he doesn’t care if Dean flirts with women because he knows that that is a personality trait and that without it Dean wouldn’t be Dean. But today is one of those days that he will not stand for it, especially since he is already on edge with all the crap that has sneaked up on him after a year of not being on the road and a year without hunting.

The waitress walks seductively towards their booth. She is wearing a short jean skirt with a low top white blouse, just enough to show some cleavage. “What can I get you boys?” The waitress speaks to all three men, but her sight is targeted towards Dean’s direction. She looks at his lips, licks her own and then looks Dean in the eyes.  

She is around their age and she is definitely Dean’s type, but Dean is not stupid. He is sitting next to Sam and he could practically taste the discomfort and anger his brother is generating. “I want a cheeseburger and fries with a side of onion rings.” Dean doesn’t even smile at her and once he orders he looks away and allow for the other two men to order their own food.

The waitress is immediately disappointed but she takes their order and leaves.

“I believe that she is interested in you.” Henry says after he sees the waitress leave.

“Oh, is she?” Dean says knowing perfectly well that she is.

Henry looks away from the waitress and back to Dean. “Yes, she is. I mean is not like she was being subtle.”  Henry replies and he smiles.

Sam remains quiet during the whole ordeal because he doesn’t trust himself with the things that he might say and in turn end up doing. Instead after ordering his food he stares out the window and sighs as he tries not to pay too much attention to the conversation Dean and Henry are having.

Dean quickly looks in Sam’s direction and then looks back to Henry. “Yeah well, I’m not interested.” Dean moves his arm from the top of the table and for the second time in less than an hour he chooses to place it under the table and in Sam’s thighs to show him that he is there for him, like he has always been.

Sam looks over at Dean and he moves his hands under the table until he reaches Dean’s. He turns Dean’s hand over until they intertwine their fingers and he automatically feels relief and Sam smiles for the first time since Dea’s disappearance.

Henry notices the exchange and he frowns. He knows that something is going on between the brothers, but to suggest anything would be too preposterous. Instead he focuses on something that he can understand. “I have been meaning to ask, who is this Crowley character and what is so important about Kevin?”

The brothers break away from their brief tender moment and give their attention back to Henry.

Sam speaks first. “Crowley, he is uh… the king of hell. He has had a thing for us for years considering all the demons we have sent back to hell.”

Dean snorts and adds, “He and his spawns have tried to kill us more times than I can count with two hands. I can let him slide for trying to hurt me, but he his now going after my family. Next time I see him, he is going to wish that he never set eyes on a Winchester.” Dean’s voice sounded matter of fact; indisputable.

Henry nods automatically agreeing. These boys are his family and if they have a demon problem he is more than willing to risk it all to keep his family safe. “Well, you know you have my support.” Henry looks straight into Dean’s eyes as he speaks his next words.  “I know that I wasn’t there for your daddy, but Dean I promise I will do anything within my power to find this demon and get my great granddaughter back.” He looks to Sam to communicate the same message to him.

Sam feels relief to hear Henry speak like that. His family line is running thin as it is and for Henry to offer his alliance without knowing them says a lot about the type of person Henry is. “Thanks Henry, it really means a lot to us.”  

Henry nods, “Sam you don’t have to thank me we are family.”

Dean is finally warming up to the guy, because for a complete stranger to offer his help to save his daughter, although he is family, it means a lot to him.

Henry then realizes that the second part of his question has not been answered. “So what does the king of hell want with this kid Kevin?”

Sam continues, “Well Kevin is a _‘prophet of the lord.’_ Apparently he can read the word of God and he also happens to possess the demon tablet.”

“The demon tablet… as in The Demon Tablet?” Henry has only heard myths of its existence to actually know that it exist is beyond anything he could have imagined.

“Yep, as in anything that you can ever know about a demon and how to kill it all jammed packed into a stone tablet.” Dean replies to Henry’s astounded expression.

Henry cannot believe what he is hearing. “But it is not possible, the tablet has been searched for years and we believed it to be nothing but a myth.”

“Well believe it and that is why we need to find Kevin and fast.” Dean quickly adds.

The waitress comes back with their food and they all think of the implications of finding Kevin and being face with the decision of handing over the most powerful weapon they have against demons, to the king of hell. All three Winchesters eat their food in silence until Henry speaks again.

“We cannot allow for this demon to take possession of the tablet. We must get the child back, but we cannot risk the tablet into the wrong hands.” Henry doesn’t look at the brothers and instead his eyes trace the plate in front of him and he looks up when he feels two sets of eyes staring back at him.

“We know,” is all Sam says and the rest of their meal is continued in silence and soon after they are on the road again.


	8. This is my Fault

Is dark outside when they finally reach San Diego they spent the next three hours walking around with a picture of Kevin and asking all that passed their way if they had seen the guy in the picture. By some miracle they come across someone who recognizes Kevin’s picture and mentions that he had seen the kid. The stranger mentions that he has a boat near the cost and that he had seen Kevin once or twice stepping out a very beat up ‘floating scrap of junk’ close by. The stranger gives them direction to the boat and in less than 20 minutes the Winchesters are in front of the door.

Dean knocks and Sam and Henry stand next to him by the door. They hear no movements inside so Dean knocks again and again. He begins to worry that they are going to have to break down this pure steel door, but when Dean reaches to knock again Kevin’s voice comes through the door moments later.

“Who is it?” Kevin’s voice sounded cautious and there is a hint of fear.

“Is Dean, Kevin open up!” Dean exchanges a look with Sam and then he looks back to the closed door in front of him.

There is the sounds of one, two, three… four different clicks signaling that Kevin has finally unlocked the door.  Kevin stares at all three men, focuses on Dean and splashes him with a glass of holy water.

“Awesome.” Dean groans he knows perfectly well that it is a routine for hunters to check for demonic possessions. Doesn’t mean he has to like it every time one of them chooses him to sprinkle the water on. He moves his arm to his face and wipes the water with his sleeves. “Not a demon.”

“Right.” And at least Kevin has the decency to look guilty, well kind of. He moves aside and the three Winchesters walk in crossing the salt line and pass the devils trap painted on the floor.

Sam walked into the small living space and notices that the place is total mess. There is a pile of clothes at one corner and on the small sofa positioned against the wall. Cross from the sofa there is a table full of papers, empty food containers and other garbage and the wall next to that is equally filled with clippings of newspapers, pictures and other papers.  Kevin must have kept himself busy during the last couple of months. And he has apparently been in isolation and has not kept nor the place or his health in good condition.

Kevin looks horrible like he hasn’t had any substantial amount of sleep in the last couple of months, and he looks like he is suffering from malnutrition. He has lost a lot of weight, his clothes look baggy, his hair is mess, he has dark circles around his eyes and he looks like he hasn’t shower in days.

Sam shatters at the sight in front of him and he feels the guilt building up. He did this to him, he should have been here for Kevin or at least he should have made sure that he was okay. “You have been here all this this? How did you escape Crowley?”

Kevin gives Sam a hard stare and says, “I managed just fine, no thanks to you.”

Dean automatically intervenes when he notices that Sam flinches and is on his way to becoming all emo. They need to stay focus and get pass this. “Hey! He had his reason, and we are not going to get into that just yet.” Dean’s voice was firm and left no room for arguments. His voice softens as he continues, “Now you need go get yourself cleaned up, and Sam is going to get you some real food before we sit down and discuss the last few months.”

Sam nods, “Right. Yeah” and he extends his hands for Dean to drop the keys to the Impala.

While Sam heads out to get food and Kevin moves towards what can only be presume to be the bathroom, Henry and Dean stay in the main living space. Dean moves towards the couch and takes some of the clothes and drops it atop the pile on the floor. They would have to do laundry later. After clearing the couch he discards the empty pizza boxes on the table and the other food containers into a couple of plastic bags he finds laying around, after noticing that the garbage was over filled. Dean makes a disgusted face and has to hold his breath as he clean through all the garbage and piles it into a corner until he can go dump it outside.

Henry feeling left on a loop decides to mimic Dean’s actions and he too begins to clean a little. The place is a mess. “So he is a prophet.” Henry’s tone sounds accusatory and a bit judgmental and Dean picks up on it.

Dean stiffens and stops what he is doing for a second and then he continues to place an empty half gallon of spoiled milk into a garbage bag. “Yeah well, he wasn’t always like this.” Dean felt the need to defend the kid. “He had a normal life; a family, school, a girl friend… and then the supernatural happened.” Dean shrug deciding that didn’t need further explanation.

The supernatural and life as a hunter has taken everything from him and it has shaped him and changed him in so many ways and he understands that not everyone is made for the life. And Kevin, poor Kevin has been drag down into it and he is holding up well, all things considered.

Henry nods, but he only understands half of it. He knows that those who know the truth, their lives become automatically a hundred times harder, but he was a man of letter not a hunter and his experiences have been different. He has had a loving family and he felt rewarded for his life's work, but the more he learns from his grandkids the more he understands that this world his different; much more unforgiving.  He has had it easy compared to the lives that they have lived and Kevin was proof that not everyone can handle the life.

Dean and Henry continue to clean, and by the time Kevin has showered and shaved, Sam is back with the food. Sam sits on a chair next to the table, Henry on the couch and Dean remains standing close to Sam while they all watch Kevin devour his food. Kevin was seated at the clean table and he grabbed food from all the different containers of food that Sam bought. It is obvious that the kid has been deprived and quite hungry.

It didn’t take long for Kevin to finish all the food that could have easily have fed three healthy men. And after all the weird looks that he was getting from the Winchester for his table manners he pushes the last empty container out of the way signally that he is done and he shifts back on his chair. Sam quickly stands and discards the containers until the table is once again cleared.

Kevin is the first to speak after a few minutes. “What are you guys doing here? I figured that you were all dead.” Kevin looks at Henry then at Dean and asks, “And who is that guy?” Kevin points in the direction of Henry but he is still looking at Dean.

“Nope, can’t kill us” Dean thinks that over and then corrects himself, “or least we can’t stay dead.” Dean looks at Henry and then says, “Henry, he is…uh…”

Sam finishes for him, as he once more takes a sit by the table. “Henry is our grandfather.”

Kevin looks to Sam and his face all but tells that Sam has clearly lost his mind, because last time he was aware Sam and Dean didn’t have any more family and this guy definitely doesn’t look old enough to be a grandfather.

Sam sees the confusion and total disbelieve in Kevin’s expression and he quickly adds, “He is from the pass.” Kevin still has the look on his face and he sighs. “Look is complicated; he came using a blood spell trying to escape a powerful demon.” Sam arches an eyebrow, guess is not that complicated.

“Abaddon” Henry says. “But she did not come through the portal, so she is not a threat to this time.”

“Good, the last thing we need is more demons.” Kevin says and he still looks and feels tired.

“Dude what happened to you?” Dean asks as he shifts to face Kevin.

“Oh you mean after you disappeared and I got taken by Crowley?” When Kevin sees Dean nod and Sam flinch he continues to speak. “He had me under surveillance 24/7 and he wanted me to read the tablet for him. When I refused every time he thought it would be good idea to bring in some… motivation.” Kevin’s face change to one of sadness and he looks vulnerable for just a moment and far too young.

Kevin continues. “He brought in my girlfriend first and tried to use her against me, but I soon realized that she had been possessed and I knew that I had lost her so I continue to refuse to read the tablet for him.” Kevin stops for a minute as if to collect his thoughts and to control his emotions. “He got a hold of my mom and used her against me. I said that I would help him, but even then he killed my mom in front of me.” Kevin lowered his head for a moment until he speaks again. “I ended up learning a few tricks while I was reading the tablet, and send Crowley on a goose chase to find a Hell’s gate, while I killed the demons guarding me with one of the spells in the tablet.” He takes a deep breath and continues, “I have been hiding out since then, and reading off the tablet.”

Sam wanted the ground to open up and eat him whole, because all he seems to do is let people down. He pretty much ruined Kevin’s life when he did not search for him, and Dea is gone and he did nothing to stop it. “Kevin, I’m sorry man I should have been there for you. This all my fault, and you gotta believe me that I wish I could change things.” Even pregnant he could have done something, anything to make sure that Kevin was okay.

“Sam stop, you know that you couldn’t have helped in your condition, so stop beating yourself about it.” Dean puts a hand in Sam’s shoulder and squeezes.

Kevin and Henry have a confuse look on their faces. Kevin is the one to comment on what Dean just said. “Look Sam, I’m not angry anymore. I have come to terms that this is my life now… Wait, what condition?” For the last part he looks at Dean.

Sam does not want to have this conversation right now, and he looks almost embarrassed to think about telling Kevin and Henry that he was the one that carried Dea to term and that her other father was his brother.  “I… um…” is all that comes out before Dean interrupts.

Dean doesn’t want to explain what Sam’s condition was any more than Sam does. “Look that part of the story doesn’t matter right now, alright? We got more important things to worry about.” Dean shifts on his feet and tells Kevin, “Crowley is after you.”

Kevin faces Dean. “Dean, this is not exactly news to me.”

Dean nods, because he knows that Crowley has been hunting down Kevin since the moment that he learned that he was a prophet and could read the demon tablet. “Yeah well this time he took someone important to us.”

Kevin finally understands why they were all there. “So what he wants me in return for whoever he took?” Dean nods in his direction. “So who is it then, who they take?”

Sam is the one the answers. “They took my friend Amelia, and… my daughter.”

Kevin looks at Sam and is surprise by what he just said. He opens his mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. Well that changes everything, doesn’t it? “You have a daughter?” And when he sees Sam nod he looks back at Dean and Kevin sees him nod as well.  He is pretty sure that Sam would do anything to get his daughter back and Dean without question would support Sam. Kevin doesn’t necessary thinks that they will sell him out, but he does have to ask. “So that’s it isn’t it? You are going to hand me over to Crowley?” Kevin sounds resigned. I mean he has lost everything else, why not his life to save two others.

“Look man, we are not going to turn you over to Crowley.” Dean quickly adds, because although it is Sam's daughter life at stake, we are not the type of guys who betray our friends.

“Dean’s right. We just…you said that you have been transcribing whatever is written on the tablet right?” Sam sees Kevin nod. “We just need to come up with a plan, because there is no way that we are letting that bastard win.”

They spend the rest of the night going over their options, resources and formulating a plan that has the potential to work. But is difficult, how do they beat the King of Hell and still keep everyone safe?

 

They had drove back to Kansas to be closer to the bunker once this was all done. And the sun is halfway down the horizon when they make their way to meet with Crowley. Sam, Dean and Henry drive far away from the city and stop at an abandoned warehouse surrounded by nothing but trees and a dirt path. Sam and Dean step out of the car and walk around it facing the warehouse leaving Henry in the back seat, with instructions not to come out.

Sam is feeling a little jittery, and he looks to Dean he can tell that his brother is keeping it together like he always does, but he can also tell that he is on edge. “You think he’ll show?”

Dean looks around before he faces Sam. “Yeah, he’ll show. If he sees that we have Kevin, he won’t pass up on the opportunity.

Kevin had stayed close by, but not in the line of sight. Sam and Dean need to verify that Dea and Amelia are alright before anything else. Dean leans against the car and Sam is about to start pacing before they feel a presence and notice that they were no longer alone.

“Hello boys.” Crowley shows up dressed in all black as always and generating nothing but bad vibes. “Is good to see you again.”

Sam though that he could control himself, but just the sight of Crowley fired up all his bottoms. “You son of a bitch. What did you do with my daughter?” Sam launches himself at Crowley and lands a good punch before he feels strong hands pulling him back.

Dean pulls Sam away although he wants nothing more than to see Crowley bleeding. “Sam wait.”

“Ouch.” Crowley puts a hand on his face and notices a stain of blood. He pulls out a handkerchief and wipes the remaining drops. “Is that how you treat on old friend?”

“Screw you Crowley.” Dean responds.

“Isn’t that what you been doing Dean, screwing you baby brother?” Crowley puts the stained handkerchief away and smiles at Dean.

Is Sam’s turn to hold Dean back before he can launch himself at the demon. Dean wants to personally shut him up and his anger is so intense that he should not be blamed if he does something that he might later regret. Not only does this sonovabitch have his daughter but he is instigating about a subject matter he has no understanding in. He almost regrets that Sam is holding him back. But becoming violent now will get them nowhere.

Sam speaks, “Shut the hell up and give me back by daughter and Amelia.”

“Sensitive subject huh?” Crowley pause and takes a step to the side a little further from the boys. “You’ll get the kid and the girl once I get my prophet and what he stole from me.” He says in a serious tone, trying to look past the two brothers.”

“First take us to the girls and Kevin will willing go with you.” Dean says as he moves to no longer obstruct the view of Henry in the car and then adds, “We need to make sure they alright and you can have the tablet too. No funny games.”

Crowley looks at them suspiciously. “Right, and I’m supposed to fall for that?”

“Look I wouldn’t play with my daughter’s life.” Sam looks at Crowley with all his puppy eye glory asking to be believed with just one look. “Demons are the ones that lie. Just take us to them and you’ll have your tablet and you prophet.” Sam’s voice sounds voided of emotion and is almost believable that he doesn’t care what ever happens to Kevin or that Crowley would be once again in possession of the demon tablet.

Crowley squints his eyes and eyes the Winchesters carefully searching for the lie. Dean and Sam play their best poker face and it seems to be enough for Crowley. He figures that if they are lying, he is the King of hell and he could definitely take care of mere humans. “Fine.” Crowley snaps his fingers and two demons appear each holding one of Amelia’s arms who was struggling to also keep Dea in her arms.

“Sam!”

“Amelia!”

Amelia looks to be in good shape and she doesn’t seem to be hurt from Dean’s view. Amelia is wearing blue jeans and a white shirt that upon a second glance seems to be stained with red doublets. He notices a fresh bruise by the side of her upper lip. His yaw clenches and he wants to hurt someone badly. Kill all these damn demons and make them pay for hurting Amelia and for taking his daughter. Dean sees Dea and he is so relieved that she is okay. She looks to be accessing the situation, she doesn’t even seem scare. There is no doubt that she is a Winchester.

Sam takes a step forward then remains where he is and he too access the state of Amelia and Dea and he is so relief that they appear to be unharmed. “Are you okay? Is Dea okay?”

Crowley puts a hand up gesturing them to stop. “Not so fast. Kevin and the tablet.”

Dean tops the backseat door of the impala. “Kevin come out.”

Henry who is dressed in some jeans and a hoodie steps out of the car, obscuring his face. He stays behind the brothers. Dean grabs Henry by the arm and pulls him forward, and he takes out the demon tablet from the pocket inside his jacket. Dean looks to Amelia until he locks eyes with her and is hoping that he communicate reassurance to her that they are all going to come out of this okay.

“Now give us the girls.” Dean steps forward with Henry on toll and when he is about to hand the tablet over Henry takes off his hoodie.

Crowley extends his hands about to snatch the tablet, when he notices that the man in front of him is not actually Kevin. “What the hell?” Crowley is confused, because who the hell is this guy?

Henry quickly moves and attaches a pair of handcuff to Crowley, carved with devil’s trap. Just behind the two demons currently holding the girls Kevin emerged and drop a potion brewed from the directions from the tablet that prevents a demon from expelling out of their host and it paralyzes them temporally. Sam and Dean move pass Crowley and stab the two demons, and Sam quickly takes the girls back to the car while Dean helps Henry capture Crowley. The plan is executed in the blink of an eye, and before any of the demons saw it coming they have been trapped or killed.

Crowley lets out a laugh and he is seriously amused, because the whole situation is ridiculous. The King of Hell has been capture, he knows better than to underestimate humans especially ones that have been trained their entire lives to kill things like him. “I thought demons were the ones that lie.” Crowley tries to break free from Dean manhandling him and pulling him forward.

“Yeah well, we couldn’t upright let you on on our plan.” Dean shoved Crowley forward. “Now move!”

 

Dean blindfolds Crowley and guides him to the rental car Kevin had used to get to the warehouse. There is no way he would have that demon riding in the same car as his daughter and Amelia.

 

Sam is still running on full adrenaline and as soon as the two lower demons are dead he guides Amelia back to the Impala and he can’t move fast enough to get away from Crowley. He wants nothing more than hold his daughter but he first needs to get her and Amelia away from here and somewhere safe. Sam opens the passenger door and Amelia who is furiously holding on to Dea gets into the car no questions asked. And after closing the door Sam quickly moves to the driver seat and he drives fast leaving nothing but the impala’s tracks on the dirt road. He has to trust that his brother can take care of Crowley.

The first few minutes on the road fly and nor Amelia or Sam speak. Amelia is still in shock and is having a hard time understanding what just happened. And Sam is not doing much better and is almost in denial that the plan actually worked and his daughter is truly only two feet away. Sam finally finds his voice, “Amelia are you okay, is Dea okay?

“Yeah… “Amelia can still feel her heart beating fast and she is fighting for control over her emotions and not give into the overwhelming need to cry and breakdown. “Yeah, I’m okay. We are okay.”

Sam nods, he looks over to the two most important women in his life and he takes one of his hands off the steering wheel and places it atop of Dea’s chubby legs and softly strokes her skin. “Hi sweetheart, I’m so sorry baby.” Sam focuses back on the road and speeds up until they are back at the bunker in less than fifteen minutes.

As soon as they dismount Sam opens the door to the bunker allowing for Amelia to pass through. He takes Dea from her hands as they set foot inside. God Sam is so glad to have his daughter back in his arms and for the first time since she has been gone he feels like he can finally breathe. The last couple of days have been nothing but a complete torture. He hated having been separate for the first time from his daughter and then have her  kidnapped by demons because of him… if something would have happened to her or Amelia. Is better to not think about what ifs. They are both here and they are both safe, and Dean would take care of Crowley so that he  no longer have a claim over their lives.

Sam hugs Dea tightly, but not enough to hurt her. He takes a good look at her and begins his search for injuries. He runs his hands through her little body and then he strokes her baby cheeks. Sam presses Dea against his body once more and he looks up to see Amelia shaking. He opens his arms as an invitation and Amelia rushes to him, colliding their bodys and she holds on to Sam for dear life. “Is okay, I got you. I’m so sorry Amelia, I’m sorry. You are safe, I promise.” Sam kept repeating it like a mantra as he holds his daughter and his friend.

Amelia sobs in his arms and she is still shaking. God knows what sort of sick things she had seen while being under Crowley’s charge. Sam will make her feel safe again, he’ll make this better, he has to.  Sam knows that they probably haven’t had much sleep, considering that he hadn’t had much himself and he was not the one captured. He guides Amelia to one of the empty rooms once she settled a little and told her that she should get some rest that it is all over and that he would be just outside the door if she needs anything. Amelia wants to protest, but she truly is tired and when she lays on the bed she falls asleep almost instantly.

Sam takes Dea to his and Dean’s room. They have a joint bathroom and he runs the tub. Dea’s little clothes are filthy and he wants nothing more than to rid her of the traces of what transcribed the last couple of days. Dea doesn’t puts up a fight and she smiles as Sam undress her. Sam cannot describe his relief and utter happiness he currently feels to see his daughter smile despite what she has been through.

Sam kneels on the floor while he places Dea on the tub. “I’m so proud of you Dea. You are so brave aren’t you? Just like your daddy Dean.” Sam cups some water with his hand and spills it on Dea’s hair. “I don’t know what I would have done without you.”

Sam feels overwhelmed with emotions and tears are threatening to spill as he thinks of an alternative universe in which he would have lost Deanna. He would never allow that to happen. Dean wouldn’t allow that to happen. “I’m so sorry sweetheart, it won’t happen again. Your dads are going to protect you. It won’t happen again.” Is a promise, over Sam’s dead body would someone get to his daughter again.

As soon as he finishes bathing Dea, he dresses her with some warm clothes that he had packed and Sam feeds her a bottle of milk. He can tell that she is tired so after burping her he bounces her in his arm trying to get her to sleep. He does a shitty job at singing a lullaby, but either he isn’t so bad or Dea is just too tired to pay attention to the notes off key. Once Dea falls asleep in his arms he wants nothing but to keep holding on to her and never let her go, not even to put her down on bed. But he hears the main door of the bunkers open, Dean is back.

Sam places Dea in the king size bed and surrounds her with pillows. He passes a gentle hand through her hair and down her cheeks, he places a chased kiss atop her head. Is hard to just leave her alone even if it is to go down the hall.

As soon as Sam walks into the ‘living room’ his blood is boiling with rage. “Dean what the fuck? What is he doing here? I thought you killed that sonovabitch?” Sam launches forward and he wants nothing more than to finish the job and see Crowley experience his final death. Dean stops him, and his body is fighting really hard not to punch out Dean so that he can get to the demon.

Crowley is handcuffed by both his hands and feet. Henry is holding one of his arms and Kevin is on the other side. He has some type of sac over his head obscuring his sight to the surrounding. They couldn’t have Crowley knowing where the bunker is.

Crowley snickers at Sam’s outburst. “Problem in paradise?”

Dean pulls Sam back although he too wants nothing more than to see Crowley so dead and buried so deep underground and he would join Sam in doing just that if he didn’t think that Henry is right when he says that we can use him to locate all the demons topside. “Sam calm down.” Dean pushes Sam back enough that the others could not hear their side conversation. “We can’t kill him, we can use him.”

 

“Use him?” Sam shouts and shakes his head and lets out a laugh. Yeah Dean has completely lost it, because there is just no way that he is even considering letting Crowley live. Sam takes a deep breath. “He had our daughter Dean. Or have you forgotten?”

Dean is almost taken aback if it isn’t because he knows that his brother is just upset at the situation and his anger is not really directed at him. “Of course I haven’t forgot.” Dean sighs, “Look, I want him dead as much as you do, but we can use him to kill off the demons topside. Then, no more demons.”

Sam moves a few feet away from Dean and he shakes his head one more time. He knows that what Dean is saying makes sense and they should definitely take advantage of the situation; is logical. But Sam doesn’t want to be logical at the moment, he wants to be emotional and vengeful. He takes a step in the direction that Henry and Kevin had move to cage Crowley, Dean moves to stop him again, but is not quick enough and Sam walks past him.

Henry and Kevin have taken Crowley to the dungeon. Crowley is sitting the middle of a room chained by the neck, legs and hands. Under his feet there is a devil’s trap, taking nearly just enough to hold him in.

Sam barges in fuming with anger. That sonovabitch just smiles as he enters. Dean is on his heels, and Henry and Kevin are just finishing putting all the chains on Crowley, and move to the side when Sam comes near Crowley.

“You sonovabitch, I’m going to rip your damn spine out with my bare hands.” Sam yells at Crowley.

Crowley laughs, that lunatic laughs mocking their suffering, their desperation, and pain. He laughs like he had not been involved in a kidnapping and it has been all just one big joke. Sam goes straight for his jaw and he punches and beats him until Crowley’s face is bloodied up and Sam’s knuckles are bruised.

Dean is behind him yelling for Sam to stop. He manages to pull Sam off Crowley with the help of Henry. Meanwhile Kevin wants nothing more than to smile, because Crowley deserves everything that is coming to him. He has taken everything from him; his mom, his girlfriend, his studies, his home, his innocence. Crowley and the supernatural have taken everything and if he is getting some satisfaction out of seeing Crowley all blooded up, well no one can blame him for it. It is his right not to feel bad for the bastard.

“Sam, man stop. He deserves it, but you’re hurting yourself,” and we need him. Dean says to Sam as he pulls him back.

Sam is breathing heavily and Dean pull him to his  chest. He lost himself for a moment there, but it was his daughter who was kidnapped. It was Dean that he made seemed had died along with Castiel and Dick. It was Kevin who was taken from his grasp. Crowley deserves more than a good beating.

Crowley spits out blood to the side and there is some blooded saliva hanging from his mouth, his hands are chained and he tries to wipe his mouth cleaned, but can’t. “I see why you keep this one Dean, real feisty.”

A spark of fear crosses Sam’s and Dean’s face and no one notices but Crowley, who smiles again.

Crowley’s smile grew wider, ‘oh this is good’ Crowley thinks to himself. He sees it as a good opportunity to cause further torment.

“So how does it feel to be fucked by your brother?” Crowley is looking at Dean but meaning his words for Sam.

Sam is stuck in place and his anger is deflating and fear is taking its place and it is slipping through. He then takes a step back like was slapped but Dean is still holding him. He looks around to Henry and Kevin and he sees their stunned faces. Dean releases Sam like he is being burned by just touching him.

“Shut the hell up Crowley!” Dean growls, low and dangerous and his blood is boiling with rage.

Dean is staring Crowley down. But Crowley is loving the attention he is receiving, so he takes upon himself to instigate so more.

“I got to say that’s a neat trick, producing that bastard baby of yours. You probably had to make another deal. I wouldn’t be surprise if she has demon bloods in her veins, just like Sammy boy here.”

That is the last straw. Sam backs away again and what Crowley said is really getting to him and a million questions rush to his head. What if he is right? What if Dea does really have demon blood? What if the birth was part of demonic intervention? What if she turns out evil? Sam shakes his head in disbelieve, Dea is good, she is a good baby, she is not evil. “You’re lying,” he whispers barely audible.

Dean however, is done being diplomatic and reasonably thinking that they needed Crowley to finish off the demons topside. “You motherfucker, you take back what you said about my brother. And don’t you fucking dare call Dea a bastard child or demon spawn.” Crowley’s last words hit so close to home that he is done talking. He is now the one that launches himself at Crowley and continues where Sam left off in the beating. He doesn’t even notice when he pulls out his knife and is about to stab and kill Crowley when he feels strong hands hold him back.

Crowley is a bloody mess and if he had been human there is no doubt that he would have died right there in front of them, but he is not, and the fucker is still alive. Henry is the one the pulls Deans hand before his stabs Crowley and Sam is half numb by what he just heard.

Dean is mad as hell that he was stopped, and he storms out. When Sam can response he is close on Dean’s heels.

“Sam…” Henry says trying to stop him from leaving, because frankly he  wants an explanation as to what just happened. But Sam doesn’t stop and he does not dare lift his head to look at Kevin or Henry.

Dean doesn’t stop, not even when he hears Sam say his name so broken and desperate; like a prayer begging him so face this. Dean can’t stop. His head is running a hundred miles an hour and he needs a drink now. He walks out the bunker and storms right inside the impala and he drives to the nearest bar. He orders drink after drink, hoping to forget that now Henry and Kevin know that he was fucking his brother. He is fucking his damn brother. He shakes his head trying to clear it and drowns another shot of something, not even caring what it is as long as it is strong.

He is on his fifth drink and not nearly drunk enough and he can still think about how he is messing Sam’s life up. How although he doesn’t necessarily believe Crowley about Dea, they had no other information to prove that that is not case. “Fuck!” Dean curses out loud.

“You alright there sweetheart?” Says the bartender, who Dean would have considered smoking hot under different circumstances.

“Fuck off, I’m not in the mood.” Dean says back.

The bartender glares at him, “Asshole, no need to be rude.”

Dean doesn’t even respond instead he asks for another drink. And just as he lifts it to his mouth, across the room he sees a woman holding on to a child’s hand while at the same time she tries to get her drunken husband out of the bar. “Fuck, Sammy.”

Since he got on the impala and drove to  the bar he  has done nothing but think about Sam. Except that he forgot to remember that his brother was also affected by what Crowley said, probably worse off and probably drowning in guilt. He is most likely blaming himself for all of this, because that just who is; as if it didn’t take two to get into this whole mess.

Dean drinks the last shot, because it would be a shame to throw it out after it has already been paid for and he goes back to the impala and drives back to the bunker. He is such an asshole, not only does he leave Sam to be all emo about this whole situation, but he hasn’t even seen Dea since they got her back.

Right now, Dean wants nothing more than to see Sam and his baby girl.

Is late when he makes it back to their room. And Dea is still sleeping in the middle of the bed. She looks so innocent and fragile. He sees Sam seating by the table in the room, and he stands as soon as he sees Dean walk in.

“Dean…” Sam says, only half relieved. And there it is again, that voice again, broken and desperate for Dean to tell him that they will be okay after this. Sam needs some confirmation that he is not just going to leave him and Dea even though there is a possibility that she may have been born due to supernatural intervention.

Dean feels like such a royal asshole when he sees how broken Sam looks, like he was expecting not to see him again. Dean approaches Sam and he places both his hands on each side of Sam’s head. “I’m so sorry Sammy.” _I’m sorry about how I reacted, I’m sorry I left you, I’m not going anywhere, I got you._

Sam nods, but his eyes are asking a different question; _‘are we good, are we still together?’_

Dean brings their foreheads together and for a few moments they breathe in each other’s air. Dean, more softly and gentler than he would ever admit, places a chaste kiss on Sam’s lips.

So much relief flows through Sam’s body and he buries his head in the crook of Dean’s neck and he sighs. Dean hugs him for a few minutes.

Dean takes in the sight of the small sleeping figure on the huge bed, and he separates himself from Sam. Dean approaches the bed and sits. He places a gentle hand on her head and moves a strand of hair obscuring Dea’s close eyelids. He leans in and places a soft kiss on top of her head and whispers, “I missed you so much, baby girl.”

Dean keeps stroking her hair. “I’m so glad that she is okay.” Dean says and then lifts his gaze to look up at Sam.

“Me too.”Sam says and he joins his brother and the sleeping baby on the bed and he once again lays his head on Dean’s shoulder while Dean places his arm around Sam’s waist and they watch their daughter sleep. In this moment he  doesn’t care about what Crowley said or that they have been outed. Sam just feels so grateful to have his little family whole once again.

After some silence Sam speaks again, “Kevin and Henry know.”

And Dean knows what Sam is referring to. “I know.”

“They probably think that we are disgusting.” Sam says and it almost comes out as a whisper.

Dean squeezes where he is holding Sam at the hip and grips him closer. “Doesn’t matter. If they can’t deal with it, they know where the door is. Or we leave… You and me, okay?”

Sam looks at Dean and smiles. “And Dea. The three of us  against the world?”

“Always.” Dean says, and there is no doubt that that is a promise. He has always and will always look after his family. And Sam and now Dea are the most important charge.

They stay just like that for more than half an hour until Sam hears Dean’s stomach growl and he lets out a small laugh. “Only you would be hungry right now. You didn’t get anything when you went out?”

Dean elbows Sam for good nature. “No, and in case you’ve forgotten, is your fault that we skipped lunch.” And this feels like familiar territory, laughing about Dean’s constant need for food.

“Well at the moment it seemed more pressing to go over the plan that would get our daughter back.” Sam looks at Dean and smirks, “Why don’t we go and make something to eat, I know Amelia will probably wake up hungry?”

Dean nods and follows Sam on his way out the door. When they get to the main living room they see Kevin unloading several bags of food on the table. Well I guess they no longer have to worry about food. Kevin and Henry stare for only a few seconds before they look away and Dean speaks. Is clear that they are not going to be discussing the whole incest, baby, demons blood elephant in the room, at least not today.

“Kevin you are a life saver.” Dean quickly dives into the food until he finds something he likes, mostly fried foods, he leaves off the beer knowing that he has had enough for one night. “I’m starving.”

“I figured as much. When are you never not hungry?” Kevin says and he almost sounds casual, like the whole showdown at the dungeon had not just happened. He too takes from the wrapped food.

Dean shrugs, because yeah he is a grown man with an appetite.

They are in the main room with the huge table and Sam and Dean take a sit next to each other nowhere near touching, while Kevin and Henry sit opposite them. They eat in silence for a couple of minutes until Sam speaks up. “What are we going to do with Crowley?” And his intentions are clear, either they come up with something soon, or he will take care of the problem personally.

Henry looks up from his food and he looks serious and right to the point. “I mentioned to Dean that it would be a good idea to get him to talk. He is the King of Hell right?” All around him he sees nods. “Well I think that we can use that to our advantage. Get him to speak and reveal all the demons that have escape hell so we can hunt them down.”

Sam nods, yeah in theory it sounds like a really good idea if they no longer have to worry about demons being such a huge problem. “He is not going to cooperate.” Especially after tonight.

“Then we make him or kill him.” Dean’s voice sounds cold and unforgiving.

Sam automatically knows what he is suggesting, but torture just doesn’t sit well with him, even if it is the bastard. “You mean torture him?” And he doesn’t want Dean to lose another part of himself by torturing another soul.

Dean doesn’t look Sam’s way and good thing he is done eating because just the thought of having to torture another soul is creating knots his stomachs. “Only if he leaves us with no choice.”

“Dean…” Sam wants nothing more than to protect Dean and keep him from having to commit such an act. But Sam knows his brother, and Dean can be stubborn especially when it comes to saving people and not caring if he damages his own psyche in the process. With just his name, Sam hopes to communicate that he is there for him no matter what.

Henry knows that demons lie and right now is not the time to bring up the incident that went down on the dungeon especially when they have more pressing matter, and figuring out how to get rid of Crowley.

“I have been thinking…” Henry looks to each of them. “What if we make him vulnerable… human?”

Dean is very confuse because surely Henry did not just suggest that a demon can become human. “Come again?”

“You know that this bunker use to belong to the man of letter. Well since we got here I have been doing nothing but research, and trying to find some way to get back to my timeline.” Henry sees understanding plaster in his grandchildren’s faces. “I found something… some videos recorded nearly fifty years ago.” Henry stands up and the others follow.

The two Winchesters and Kevin are very interested right about now, because in all of their years of hunting they had not heard about what Henry is suggesting. They all follow Henry to the library where there is a projector set on the table facing a blank wall.

Henry moves quickly and connects the project to share with the men next to him what he has found. “I believed this to be impossible, if I had not witnessed the possibility through these films.”

Henry starts the first of film and there are two priest there and a demon sitting in the middle of the room, hands tied to a chair right at the center of a devil’s trap. One of the priest has a bible on hand and is saying a prayer in Enochian and asking the demon to remember his humanity.  Is as if he is performing an exorcism, but is like no exorcism either one of them has ever seen. The priest cut his hand and placed his injured hand dripping with blood to the demon’s mouth. The blood from a man who has confessed for his sins. With a drop of blood, white lights is reflected from the demon’s eyes and just like that the demon was dead.   

They have watched five different films and have spent nearly two hours at the library. The films have all ended in the same way; with the demon dying and the older priest disappointed that whatever he was attempting was not yielding results. The Winchesters and Kevin are stunned, they have never seen a demons killed quite like it.

“Okay, now this is the last film and it is also the most interesting.” Henry says and all eyes are on the projection.

On this last film there is a man there tied at the center of the of devil’s trap. The older priest is doing all the work, while the youngest only interferes if something was asked of him. The priest starts the prayer in Enochian and on his left hand he holds the bible with a rosary hanging from it and on the other he holds a metallic bottle. He spills what is presumed to be holy water on the demon and they all see him sizzle and smoke escapes his pores.

The demon is of dark skin and he appears to be around his mid-thirties, at least the meat suit he is wearing is. He screams when the water hit his face and then he laughs cruelly and mockingly. “You thinking this is doing anything to me?” He laughs again. “I’ve have killed, raped, and tortured people without remorse. You are wrong if you think that you can change me.” The demon looks at the priest straight in the eyes. “I’m going to rip your throat and kill everyone you have ever love.” The priest does not lose his resolve and continues to chant.

The older priest throws more holy water and continues to pray and he sees the demon flinch. The priest asks the other priest, the youngest, to hand him the blood. The youngest priest hands him a syringe with the blood and the oldest injects the demon. The demon screams and the prayers continue.

There is some time span between the first scenes and the ones that they are now viewing. The older priest is talking to the camera and saying that it was the second day of the trials. The second day began just like the first one with the prayers in Enochian, the holy water and the blood. The demon screamed but there isn’t any change in his demeanor or attitude, he is not cured. There is no change until day three where the demon seems to be getting weaker and when the priest attempts to speak to the demon, he sees the slightest bit of a pained and tortured human soul not demonic. Everything changed on the fifth day of trials. The same demon is on screen and this time after all the chanting, and sprinkling of holy water, the demon did not sizzle and when blood was injected the priest has a conversation with the human side of the demon. “Why did I killed those people? I am a monster.” The guy says.

The priest smiles because finally his years of research have paid off. “You are a man now. You have been saved.”

Sam looks stunned. “Did he just… cure a demon?”

Dean is just as dumbfounded and he opens his mouth, closes it and then says “Maybe.”

“We must test this. It could change everything.” Henry says and he is almost excited at the prospect of witnessing this with his own eyes.

Sam shakes his head, “But how is this even possible?”

“Well demons where humans once, they became demons so why can’t they become humans once more? “ Henry replies.

“In the tablet, there is this one passage.” Kevin gets up, “I’ll be right back.” He returns in less than a minute with a notebook and the demon tablet. He sets both items on the table and he opens his notebook. “Here… It talks about closing the gates of Hell forever.”

“Forever?” Dean ask because today is just the day of good news.

“Forever.” Kevin agrees and smiles.

Sam looks to Dean and then back to Kevin, and he would be speechless if his curiosity wouldn’t have gotten the best of him. “Close the gates of hell? But how?”

Kevin looks at his writing on the notebook. “From what I was able to translate from the tablet, there are three trials. The first is to be bathed in the blood of a hellhound.”

“Great.” Dean hates hell hounds, hates them with a passion. He still remembers being shred to pieces by one and all others that they have encounter have been nothing but a complete nightmare, of course the trials would include those demon spawns.

“And get this… that is not even the hardest one.” Kevin skims his note and flips the page. “The second trial is to rescue a soul from hell.” Kevin looks up and see the ‘are you for real’ faces from the other men. “I’m not making this stuff up.”

“And how in the world do we get into hell, snatch a soul and make it back out alive?” If the first trial is meant to be difficult, the second trial gets the cake because damn. Normal people run away from hell not make plans for marching right on in.

“And what is the third trial?” Henry asks.

Kevin reads through his notes. “Well it brings us back to the films… cure a demon.” Kevin closes his notebook and takes a sit by the table. “And then no more demons.”

No more demons, now wouldn’t that be something. “If there is a chance that we can close the gates forever, I say we need to take it.” Says Dean.

“Sam?”

“Amelia.” Sam stands up and approaches Amelia. “Hey, how are you feeling?”

Behind them, Dean is putting away the tapes and books that they have being using. There is no need for Amelia to be reminded about the supernatural.

Amelia shakes her head up and down, “Better. Where is Dea?”

“She is sleeping, but I should probably go back to check on her.” Sam says and moves to hug her.

Amelia buries her face in Sam’s neck and takes a deep breath. “Okay, I want to see her too.”

Sam and Amelia exit the library. Dean looks in their direction and Henry asks, “What are we going to do with her?”

“I don’t know, I need to talk to Sam. We might take her home tomorrow, but it might be better if she moves from that house.” Dean doesn’t want to think too much about what it means to return Amelia home. It would mean that Sam would soon have go too, especially since the only reason he left was to make sure Kevin was okay, which he is. And he would go with Sam and stay living an apple pie life with him and Dea, but if he wants a world free of demons, a world safe for his daughter he has to see through these trials. He is not looking forward to the conversation he would have with Sam.

 

Dean spends sometime in the garage messing with the Impala and it is nearly midnight when he deceives that the day has been long enough. Dean sees that there is no one in the main room so he goes directly to the bedroom and when he enters he sees Sam in sweats and putting on a white t-shirt, he looks fresh out of the shower. Dean spins him around until they are faced to face and he lays both his hands on Sam’s waist. “How is Amelia?”

Sam feels the warmth generated from Dean’s hands and he sighed in contentment. It has been a long day, a long couple of weeks, and just being the two of them now (well and the sleeping Dea in the bed) it feels nice. “She seems to be holding on fine. But she was really shaken up earlier. Dean you should have seen her she was so scared,” and is all my fault. Sam frowns because he knows that Amelia would not have been in danger if it wasn’t for him.

Dean shakes him a little because he knows Sam and he has his brooding, is all my fault, the world sucks look on his face. “Sam come on. This is not your fault.”

“It is my fault. The whole situation with Kevin, not putting up enough protection to wore out demon. I shouldn’t have left them unprotected like that, especially knowing our history and our horrible bad luck.” Sam says and he breaks apart from Dean.

Dean will have none of the emo crap Sam is so good at, so when he moves away from him, Dean moves with him. “Look Kevin is okay right?” Dean doesn’t wait for Sam to respond. “And you said that Amelia is dealing with things better than expected considering?”

Sam nods, “Is just if something were to have happen to her, to our daughter…”

Dean lifts a hand and touches Sam’s cheek and Sam automatically leans into the touch. “But it didn’t. They are okay, both of them.” Dean lets his hand drop and he starts to undress. “Let’s just go to sleep, it has been a long day.” He drops his jeans too and stays with his undershirt.

Sam lays on one side of the bed and as soon as Dean strips to his boxers he lays across from Sam and Dea in the middle.  Dea is lay on her stomach with her little sleeping face facing Sam. Sam lays a hand on her back and seconds later he feels an added weight.

Dean places his hand on top  of Sam’s on Dea’s back. Never in a million years could he have expect that he would have a family, not like this. Even when he was with Lisa and Ben, it never felt right, it never felt enough. With them he always felt the need to pretend to be someone else, he felt trapped and his actions became automated. And when they died, it hurt like hell because he felt responsible but for the most part he moved on. But he if were to lose Sam… or Dea, his world would end with them. This right here feels right, it feels more than enough and more than he could ever ask for. With Sam everything feels natural and Dea is theirs; a piece of Sam and him, theirs always.


	9. Amelia

Amelia wakes up the next day and she feels like she hasn’t slept at all, although she hasn’t done anything but sleep since she was rescued from the demons. But not even sleep can erase what it felt to have been away from home, trapped by the supernatural, and watch the evil things that those demons can do. To top it all off, she had no idea whether she would make it out alive. She was also in charge of one special cargo, Dea. She kept it together the best she could for Deanna, but in all honesty Amelia believes that Dea was handling the situation better than she was.

In all her life she had never seen someone get killed in front of her or gutted as a form of torture. Never in her life had she seen so much blood flowing from a still breathing body.  She wanted to scream and in more than one occasion she would close her eyes and she would tell herself that it was all a horrible nightmare and that when she opens then she would be back home to her husband, oh Don. She has finally gotten him back only to be taken from him once more. She remembers praying to God to give her at least one more day of life and that in that day she would get to see Don again.

Amelia has heard Sam talk about the supernatural numerous times when he would tell her about how he had rescued entire families from vengeful spirits, or how he would use himself as shield to save a person from being killed by a vampire or a werewolf. How he has been to hell and back and even to heaven. How he has seen angels and demons and even fairies. The world had never seem more exciting until Sam came into her life. And although he never made his stories sound like a walk in the park, it just made the world seemed bigger and more.   

But being taken by the supernatural is no adventure that she wants to experience again. There is nothing glamorous about blood and death and torture. There is nothing exciting about being a prisoner and not knowing when it would be the last day you would see the sun rise or the face of someone you love.  There is nothing good about being so freaked out and also being the only line of defense to keep a seven  month baby safe, or at least alive.

But even when she was rescued did she feel relieved. She just wants to get home and forget that this whole thing ever happened, set it behind her and move on. She swings her legs and gets up from the bed. She grabs a sweater from the chair next to the bed and she walks out the room. She finds Dean cooing over Dea in the main room and Sam across from them with the laptop open.

Sam looks up and sees Amelia across the room and he immediately stands up and goes to her. “Hey, how are you feeling?”

She buries herself into Sam’s arms and she feels like he is the only thing that is real and safe anymore. “I’m okay… can’t wait to go home.”

Sam hugs her tighter and nods. “We’ll get you home, promise.” He moves her with him until they reach the table in the middle of the room and he pulls out a chair and guides her to it. “I’ll get you something to eat.”

While Sam moves towards the kitchen Dean looks up to acknowledge Amelia. “Sam is right you know, we will get you home and we will make you safe again.” Dean moves Dea in his arms and gives her a little plush toy car that he had gotten on their way back from California. “You are going to have to leave that house.”

Amelia takes a seat across from Dean and Dea, and when she begins to think that her life couldn’t get more complicated she hears Dean speak. “But…” She shakes her head because these demons even after losing this battle, they are still winning.

Dean feels bad that she has been dragged into this life. Is not her fault that she was in the wrong place at the wrong time. “Is not safe for you there. Sam has already picked out some affordable houses that we can check out. But for now I think you should go stay with your dad. “

It also goes without saying that she would also have to leave her job and find a new office space. “Can I hold her?” She looks at Dea. Right now she just needs something familiar, something that has always brought her joy.

Dean looks at Dea as well and he can hear the plea in Amelia’s voice. He can tell that she is barely holding it together and he wishes that he could do more to bring her peace. He gets up with Dea in his arms and walks around the table until he can place Dea in Amelia’s arms. His phone rings as he steps away from her and Sam walks in with Amelia’s breakfast.

Dean looks down at the caller ID on the phone and it reads _‘unknown._ ’ Dean flips it open and he only hears one word. “Dean?”

“Cas?”

Sam has just placed a plate of food in front of Amelia with eggs and pancakes, and when he hears Dean say Castiel’s name his head almost whiplashes as he turns to look at the phone in Dean’s ears.  Sam straightens out and faces his brother. He looks Dean straight in the eyes and they have their internal conversation. _‘Cas is alive?’_

Dean simply nods, knowing exactly what Sam is thinking him. “Cas where the hell are you? How did you get out?” Dean is staring at Sam, but he is so relieved to hear Cas’s voice.

Cas completely ignores what Dean just asked and is straight to business. “I hear Crowley is after Kevin.”

Dean can see the silent question from Sam, _‘where is he?’_ Dean shakes his head _‘I don’t know._ ’ “Yeah we know. Kevin is safe and we captured Crowley.”

Cas can always tell when Dean is with Sam, because it is never _‘I’_ is always _‘we_ ’. “You found Sam?”

“Yeah man of course. Tell us where you…” Dean doesn’t get to finish his sentence before he hears a dial tone. “That dick hung up on me.”

“He didn’t tell you where he is?” Sam asks Dean.

Amelia is half listening to the short conversation, but she has heard the name Cas before. “Is that your angel friend?”

“Yeah, he was stuck in purgatory with me but I thought that he had… Anyways he made it out. He didn’t say where he is though.” Dean says looking at Amelia and then at Sam.

Sam touches Dea’s little hair locks in Amelia’s arms. “But he is okay right?” Dea is like his shield to all things stress. Because is great that Cas is alive, but why is he being so mysterious and staying away?

“I don’t know he didn’t talk much, just wanted to warn us that Crowley had his demons after Kevin.” Dean looks at Amelia once more and then Sam. “I don’t know if he knows something we don’t, but we should probably get you guys home.”

“I agree we should… wait.” Sam backs away from Dea to face his brother again. “Dea and I are staying here.”

“Sam…” Dean knows that Sam is stubborn, but he has to try. He can finally stay out of hunting and know he has a legitimate excuse to do so, for someone he would like to see protected from this world

“No Dean, I am not having this conversation again. We agreed.” Sam takes a deep breath because otherwise he knows that he would enter into a screaming match with his brother. “We agreed that we will remain together as a family.”

“Yeah and that was before the supernatural started following us around again. Now we have to figure out how we are getting Henry back, deal with Crowley and start the trials, and to add to the list we need to find Cas.”

Sam shakes his head. “No, you are not doing this alone.”

“I’m not alone alright? Henry and Kevin are here. We will figure this thing out, I need you and Dea safe.”

“No way in hell Dean. You know that we can better protect her as a team. So suck it up and deal with it because I’m staying and so is Dea and that’s final. I’ll let Henry and Kevin know that we are taking Amelia home.” And that’s that, Sam leaves the room with the final words and no room for disagreements.

Dean wants to be mad, because he is the big brother here and what he says goes. “Sam…” he yells after him.

“You know there is no use arguing with him once he has made up his mind.” Amelia says and she is yet to touch her food.

Dean looks in Amelia’s direction, “Yeah well I had to try.”

“I personally don’t like that Dea will be expose to this life, but she should be with both her parents. In all honesty I have never seen Sam happier than when he is with you. And I can almost guarantee that the same goes for you. ” Amelia bounces Dea a little and the she stands up to hand Dea back to Dean. “Take care of them Dean, and love them for me.”

Dean gladly takes Dea and nods to Amelia. “Yeah, I will.” And he knows that Amelia is right, he will never know happiness unless Sam is a part of it, and Dea of course. And he will protect his family against God himself, if he post a threat. “And thanks again… for everything.”

Amelia nods, “I should get ready” and she walks away.

 

I takes them twenty minute to get Amelia home and another half an hour to get her to pack some essentials to take with her to her dad’s. Dean holds on to Dea, while Sam packs some of his clothes and some of Dea’s things. They might have to make several trips to get the remaining things to take back to the bunker. Sam has called the school and informed them that he is on a temporary leave due to some family problems and that he would inform them when he would return to his classes. Sam doubts if he ever can.

They are all standing outside by now. Dean is placing Dea in her car seat and Jack is now also sitting in the back. They had picked him up from the neighbor’s house and Jack is part of the family too, he couldn’t be left behind.

When Dean finishes loading the luggage he closes the car door and places both his hands on the roof and stares at Sam and Amelia. Sam and Amelia have their backs to the car and are looking at the little house that they had been sharing for the past year.

“It was really good while it lasted.” Says Amelia not looking at Sam.

Sam nods because is true. He had been normal for one year and it was really good, but it was not enough. It will never be enough if Dean is not in the picture. “Yeah it was…” but Sam looks back to where the rest of his family is waiting for him and he adds, “but I have a feeling that it might get better.” Sam smiles at Dean. Dean passes his hands through by the back of his neck almost embarrassed by what Sam just said and he smiles back, before he moves to sit in the front seat of the Impala.

They wait until they see Don pull up on the drive away to take Amelia home. Sam hugs Amelia one last time and tells her that they would keep in touch as much as they can and to take her of herself, and threaten Don to keep her safe.

Sam gets in the car next to Dean and he closes the door. Before Dean starts the car he looks at Sam and places a hand on his thighs, _‘I’m right here.’_ Sam places his hand on top of Dean’s and squeezes, _‘I know. Thanks.’_ This is another chapter that ends in his life, but he has many others to look forward to.

 


	10. Soul Connection

They are halfway to the bunker when Dean hears a nonchalant “Hello” from the back seat. Dean steps on the breaks and the Impala comes to a sudden stop.

Sam and Dean react at the same time and both look at the back seat.

“Cas?” Sam’s voice sounds excited and relieved.

Dean in the other hand wants to beat the hell out of Cas.  “What the hell man, baby on board. You want us to get into an accident?” Cas needs to learn not to show up out of the blue specially when Dean is driving.

Jack starts barking at the stranger and Sam has to calm him down before he rips a piece of the angel. Jack settles down and lays down on the back seat very close to Dea, always protecting her.

Castiel looks at the dog then back to Sam and settles on Dean with a confuse expression on his face. “I am sorry, that was not my intention.”

Sam rolls his eyes, one would think Dean would be used to Castiel popping in unannounced. “You are okay? How long have you been back?”

Castiel looks at Sam and is glad to see that at least one person is happy to see him. “I’m fine,” then he lowers his voice, “over a month.”

Dean starts the car, and he almost jolts again because if Castiel has been back for over a month that means that he has been back just as long as Dean has. “And you didn’t think that getting a hold of us was important. We thought that you had… You know what, never mind. What do you want?”

Sam punches Dean on the arm without much force. “Dean shut up.” He then looks at Castiel, “We are glad that you are okay man. Dean is just wind up because it has been crazy the last few days.”

Dea is being all cute in the back seat. She tries to touch Castiel’s trench coat and she starts giggling even though she can’t reach him. Castiel looks at her and he tilts his head trying to understand the child, understand why there is a child.

“There is a child in your back seat.” Castiel is still staring at the baby, while Dea is still giggling because she finally reached the coat and is currently pulling from it.

“You don’t say genius.” Dean says, “You though I was talking figuratively when I said that there was a baby on board?”

Castiel gives Dean his best version of a glare. “Why is there a baby on the back seat?”

No one talks for ten seconds. “Her name is Dea… Deanna,” Sam looks over to Dean and Dean looks at Sam, is agreed. “She is our daughter.”

Castiel looks at Sam with a very confuse look. “Whose daughter?”

Same laughs a little nervous, “Our daughter.” He points to himself and then at Dean as he speaks.

“Our daughter?” Cas is confuse because is like Sam is trying to communicate something that he is just not understanding.

Dean is exasperated. They are having this conversation and he is not in the mood for bullshit. “Jeesh Cas, last time I saw you your brain wasn’t this fried… Our daughter, as in I put the goods in Sam’s oven.”

There is silence for a good thirty seconds.

Castiel is in deep thought before he stares at Sam and then speaks, “You carried her?”

Sam turns on his seat, he places a hand in Dea’s tiny feet and then looks over at Castiel. “Yeah, I did.”

“But that means that you and Dean had to…”

Sam’s ears and the back of his neck heat up and he nods knowing perfectly well what Castiel is asking.

Dean’s response is, “Yeah Sherlock unless you know of any other way to get a baby into someone.” He thinks this over because getting Sam pregnant is not exactly normal, “well generally that is how it happens.”

“But you guys are brothers.”

“Yeah, well.” Dean shrugs he is not going to apologize or justify it because he is finally coming to terms with the dating his brother thing.

“Wait, so you are more freaked out that we are brothers and not with the whole, me a male carried a baby to term?” Sam says, still looking at Castiel. Castiel knows something and he is definitely spilling or he will personally pry the information from him, forcefully if need be. All his research hasn’t provided any indication as to why he was able to get pregnant, and if is something demonic he needs to know.

Castiel looks at the brothers and he is silent for a few seconds. He didn’t think it was possible, at least not really.

“Cas, how is this possible? That I was able to physically carry her? Have you ever heard of anything like it, a male getting pregnant and delivering a baby?” _‘By their brother nevertheless,’_ remains unsaid.

Cas thinks it over and he glances at Deanna. He can see the resemblance to Sam and Dean. He faces Sam again, “It is extremely rare and I have only heard of one case, but I believed it to be untrue.”

“So what made us the exception?” Dean thinks this over, “never mind, when does weird shit never not happen to us?”

Castiel simply answers, “In that other case both males were soul mates.”

Sam narrows his eyebrows in confusion. “Soul mates?” Sam shifts in his seat and looks at Dean for a second before he looks straight head to the road in front. He tries to remember everything that he knows about soul mates, it just doesn’t make sense. “There has to be more than just being soul mates right? Or wouldn’t there be more cases?”

Castiel nods although neither Sam nor Dean see him do so. “Soul mates rarely ever meet and is even rarer for two males to be soul mates to begin with.” Castiel pauses briefly, “From what I have heard, it is only a selected few who can bear children, those with strong family lines.”

“Strong family lines? You saying that this happened because we are brothers?” Dean shakes his head and is confuse because surely that is not what Castiel is means.

“I don’t think so Dean,” says Sam. And Sam is already putting all the pieces together. “Is because we are Winchesters, because we were chosen.”

Dean narrows his eyebrows and looks to Sam with a _‘what the fuck does that mean.’_ But before he can ask, Castiel continues.

Castiel nods again in agreement to Sam’s conclusion. “Strong family lines as in the strongest, physically, spiritually, and mentally. I would say that you and Dean are the strongest family line. It is about endurance. The strongest physical connection; be able to battle the supernatural and even when face with death both of you endure and survive. A normal human would not last a day in hell without breaking, you Dean lasted ten years.”

Sam and Dean sit quietly listening to Castiel because they have never heard anyone describe their lives as such.

Castiel continues, “The strongest mental connection: knowing what is out there and again enduring. Going to hell and back and remembering yet not being consumed or destroyed by the memory. Sam, even when your walls came down.” Castiel whispers the last part and he sees Sam’s jaw flinch as he remembers what Castiel had done, but he continues.  “You regain your sanity and you created your own barriers to survive.”

“The strongest of spiritual connection…”

Knots form in Dean’s throat and stomach because is true what Cas is saying, but he is making them sound like some superior beings, and their not, they are just humans. “Sorry to break it to you Cas, but we are just fucked up there is nothing special about us, and we don’t exactly believe in God.”

Cas is lost in thought as he remembers all the information as he speaks. He then looks at Dean when it registers that he has spoken. “But you do believe in God, Dean. You believe because you are one of the only humans who have come close to seeing him. It is believing because you have seen what he has and has not done.” Castiel can tell that Dean is struggling with what he just says. “But the spiritual connection has little to do with God.”

Is Sam’s turn to be confuse, “If it is not about believing in God, what is it about?”

“It is about connections in general; the connection between one soul and another. It is about connecting as friends, family, lovers.” He pauses again letting the information sink in. “Sam, Dean, you are not just soul mates, you are friends, family and lovers and because of it you both share the most potent of all soul connections. A strong enough connection to create new life. It is a blessing and you should embrace it, not fear it or doubt it.”

There is only silence for the next couple of minutes. The brothers are in shock from what they just heard, because it makes sense. Since the first kiss Sam and Dean shared they understood that it was inevitable, that no matter what, it had to have happen. But hearing Castiel explain the why… is just a lot to take in.

Castiel says something about needing to leave, but Sam and Dean barely hear him. Dean doesn’t want to go back to the bunker and be reminded of what his life has become because of the supernatural. A bunker filled with lore on the supernatural, his young grandfather from the past, a kid prophet and the king of freaking hell in the dungeon. He has the only two people that would ever make him feel remotely normal a few feet away. He drives to a dinner instead.

 

Dean pulls up at the diner’s parking lot and Sam doesn’t question him. Instead he gets out of the car as soon as it stops and he moves to remove Dea out of her car seat. Dean lets Jack out and waits until both Sam and Dea are completely out and they walk together to the entrance. Dean ties jack to one of the poles and then moves to open and hold the door for Sam to pass with Dea in his arms. They sit on a booth with a window view of the parking lot. It is all very automated, because how much complicated can their lives get.

They don’t snap out of their trance until the waitress approaches their tables, with a baby sit on one hand and the menus on the other. She looks to be in her early thirties and she has a big smile on her face.

“Hiya. I gotta say y’alls the cutest couple.” Says the waitress with a heavy southern accent. “And the baby of yours is just the cutest thing I’ve ever seen in my whole live.”

Sam smiles and he finally finds his voice, “Thanks.”

And even Dean has to smile, because damn right his baby is cute as hell.

Sam thanks her again when she hands him the baby seat for Dea.

“You’re welcome sweetheart. Now what can I get y’all?”

Sam and Dean order their usual. Dean order his burger with fries and Sam his salad and some mash potatoes for Dea. They mostly eat in silence embracing the noise from the side conversations in the dinner. Sam takes a bite from his plate and in between bites he pretends the spoons is an airplane as he feeds Dea.

Dean is staring at them and damn is he lucky. He never really noticed, but Sam is devastatingly and utterly beautiful. And seeing him interact with the life they both created is…beyond words.

Sam looks up from feeding Dea and smiles. “Dean?”

He shakes his head _‘nothing.’_ Dean smiles and Sam tilts his head, trying to figure Dean out. But something must have clicked in his big brain because Sam’s smile grows wider and his dimples are a thing of miracles because his whole face is lit.

“What do you say we go out to the park today? Dea must miss it.” Dean says in the middle of eating some  fries.

Sam is still smiling, sue him if he finally has a reason to be happy since he too has the most important people in his life safe and sound and siting just a few feet away. “Yeah? She’ll love it.” Sam also loves the idea, as it will be the only normal thing they have done  since Dean is back and the supernatural followed him.

They spend the rest of the day at the park and leave only when it gets dark and Dea begins drowsing off. Dean doesn’t take them back to the bunker, instead he books a motel for the three of them. Dean is carrying Dea while Sam opens the door to their room. Jack rushes in and Sam sighs and sits on the couch facing the small television.

Dean deposits a sleeping Dea on the bed, and instruct Jack to stay looking after her. Jack lays on the floor with a clear view of Dea. Dean then sits next to Sam on the couch. Dean lays his head on Sam’s shoulder, it’s been a long day. He tilts his head until his lips touch Sam’s neck. He kisses him lightly, and then again and again leaving a small trail. Sam moans at the touch of Dean’s lips on his neck. They haven’t been intimate since Dea disappeared and Henry joined the group.

“You want to make out?” Dean says in a husky voice.

He chuckles when he hears Dean. “What are we in high school?”

Dean lifts his head a little and smirks. “So is that a no?”

Sam rolls his eyes. “I didn’t say that.” He snakes a hand around Dean’s neck and pulls him for a kiss. Sam lets out small moans as Dean enters his willing mouth. Dean places his hands on Sam’s hip and grips tighter until he has Sam half on top of him.

They fight for control while kissing. And their hands are everywhere trying to touch as much skin as possible. Dean moans and the kiss intensifies, Sam drags him down to the couch and Dean places a hand in Sam’s back. Dean’s hand reach the inside of Sam’s shirt and he pulls him further down. They are breathless and Sam moves to kiss Dean’s neck. Sam moans “ummm I love how you taste.” Dean shifts exposing his neck and giving Sam more room.

Dean moves his hands up and down Sam’s back until he reaches and caps Sam’s crotch and he can feel how hard he is getting.  He rubs his hands, Sam lifts his head and moans loudly and Dean smirks. Dean manages to open his fly before Sam’s places a hand to stop him. “ummm, Dean no.”

“Dean don’t stop?” Dean says all smug and he places his hand inside Sam’s pants and rubs Sam’s exposed skin.  

Sam’s body moves involuntarily wanting nothing but Dean’s hands to continue stroking him. “Dean stop, Dea…”

Dean doesn’t stop and he flips Sam over until he is the one on top. He kisses Sam and then lifts his head just enough to say, “… is sleeping, and you and me need this.”

Sam nods because it is so true. He really needs this, to be connected to Dean. “Yeah I do.” He pulls Dean for another kiss and then he opens Dean’s fly.

Dean places his hand atop Sam’s. “Let me,” he says. _‘Let me take care of you’_ is left unsaid. Sam doesn’t say anything he just drops his hand and Dean picks up both their cocks and begins stroking them. Dean moans like a freaking porn star at the contact and he arches his head back. But Sam pulls him back down until their mouths crush again.

In between kisses Dean says, “Missed you. Missed this.” He realizes that he means it as more than just missing having sex with Sam, but just being the two of them against the world.

Dean picks up his speed and Sam hardly has any breath to say, “Miss you Dean.”

The little noises that Sam is making does it for him and he shoots his load, and Sam does the same soon after. Dean removes one of his shirts and cleans both of them up and then drops the shirt to the floor.

Dean falls half straddling Sam and the other half hanging of the couch. He buries his face in the crook of Sam’s neck. “We need to find a babysitter soon.” Dean wants nothing more than to be inside of Sam and have the same flame as the other night ignited.

Sam hums his agreement and hugs Dean’s body. Dean is heavy, but he feels nice in top of Sam, a solid weight a reminder that he is awake and that this is really happening. He didn’t believe that his brother would really accept themas a couple, but he thinks that what Castiel said today put everything into perspective.

After a few minutes Dean knows that he is too much of a weight on Sam. He stands up and zips up his pants and reaches for the television remote. He then takes a hold of Sam’s head and lifts it enough for him to sit  down on the couch and then place Sam’s head atop his thighs.

Sam also zips up and gets comfortable. Once he is settled he can’t stop from asking, “Do you think Castiel was telling the truth?” What Castiel said makes sense in some weird way and weirder still is that he accepted the words as soon as they left Cas’s mouth. But he needs to know that Dean believes as well, it just seems important that he does.

Dean thinks it over and he moves Sam’s bangs from his forehead before he nods and says, “Yeah, I do. I don’t think even he can make something like that up. Plus it kinda makes sense you know?” _‘The way we feel about each other.’_

Sam nods, “Yeah it does.” He feels better knowing that he is not a complete freak for wanting his brother like this, that this is pretty much out of their control, inevitable and is meant to be a gift. They had Deanna to show for their union, and she is definitely nothing but a miracle. Sam grabs the back of Dean’s neck and pulls him down for a quick kiss. After the kiss ends Sam looks at the screen and they watch the TV until they are both to tire.

 

It is early noon when they make it back to the bunker. They had stop by the grocery store to pick up some fresh fruits and soft baby food for Dea. Sam steps inside the main room and he is holding on to the grocery bags, while Dean has Dea in his arms. Dea is making little slurping noises as Dean feeds her a cherry lollipop.

“Are you trying to make her hyper?”

“She likes it.” Dean places the lollipop back in her mouth and she starts bouncing in his arms and is doing grabby hands trying to reach for the sweet. “Isn’t that right De girl? Tell your dad that he is being a party popper.” Dean tickles her and is moving the lollipop towards and away from Dea letting her try to catch it.

Dea is still making grabby hands, “De.”

Sam would have drop the bags if he had not previously placed them atop the table.

“You hear the Sammy, she said my name?” Dean is smiling like a fool, all proud that Dea’s first word is something remotely close to his name.

Sam approaches the both of them and he is smiling too.

“Say dad Dea.”

Dea is not very interested in paying attention to Sam, she still wants her lollipop. “De,” she says.

“No, no say dad.” Sam is running his hands up and down her belly. “Come sweetheart say dad.”

“De, de, de, de.” Dea is bouncing in Dean’s arms and is excited that she is receiving so much attention.

Dean is laughing, like an honest to god laugh, full of joy. He is laughing at Sam who is trying to get Dea to say dad, but she is having none of being bossed around. Dean feels really good, better than he has in years, and he wonders what he ever did to deserve this gift; a family again.

Sam smacks him in the arm trying to get Dean to stop laughing. “Shut up Dean.” But Sam is smiling just as bright as Dean’s laugh. “You little traitor, “ Sam says to Dea and he tickles her. “Your first word…and I was the one that had to carry you.”

Dean’s laugh is dying out and he smirks. “Ah come oh Sammy don’t be upset that she likes me better.”

Sam snorts, “Right, and it has nothing to do with you bribing her with sweets?”

“Can’t blame her if she inherited a particular appreciation for the sweetest things in life. Can’t wait until I introduce her to the delicacy of pie.”

Sam shakes his head, because being around one pie addict is enough. “No way Dean, our kid is not developing your sweet addition.”

When Dean is about to give Dea the lollipop, Sam snatches it from his hands.

Dea really wants her lollipop and she starts making grabby hands again and saying _‘De_ ’ repeatedly to get their attention.

“I hope you know this is all your fault,” referring to Dea’s sudden interest for anything remotely sweet. “You’re lucky I love you.” Sam is smiling though, amused by Dean’s antics.

“Yeah?” Dean hears Sam say the L word and the word is almost foreign to him. He knows that Sam loves him, and he loves him back just as much, possibly even more so. But they have probably said the words less times than fingers in one hand. But this time is so much more than just brotherly love.

Sam doesn’t mean to say it, but is not like he wants to take it back either. He really loves Dean, he is in love with him, has been since the first time they had sex and the first time he saw Dean’s eyes in Dea’s. Sam looks into Dean’s face and he is no longer smiling, this is important. “Yeah.” He nods, “I really do.”

Just like a fucking teenage girl, Dean feels butterflies in his stomach from seeing the pure truth and sincerity in Sam’s eyes. He lifts his free hand that is not holding Dea and he cups Sam’s cheeks, he passes his thumbs over the skin and then his snakes his arms around his neck and pulls him down for a kiss.

Sam grabs hold of Dean’s hips and he gladly gives Dean entrance to his mouth. He savors the kiss, the sweetness, the gentleness, unlike any of their previous kiss driven by pure heat and passion. The kiss is a promise to each other. This is their life now.

 

Henry hears Dean’s laughter and he knows that the boys are back. They left to drop off Amelia yesterday and didn’t come back to the bunker last night. They didn’t so much as call to say that they weren’t going to make it, and he has been worried sick that something bad had happened. Maybe is his grandfatherly instinct to worry, and Henry chuckles to himself at the insanity of their situation. His grandsons who appear to be nearly the same age that he is, and how he doesn’t really know them aside from the last few days he has spent with them.

As he gets near to the main room he hears them discussing Dean’s sweet tooth and he smiles because John was just like that as a kid, and Henry always had to lock all the sweets in the house. When he finally reaches the room he is not expecting the sight the greets him. Sam with his hands on Dean’s waist, and Dean’s arm around Sam’s neck, while still holding Dea. And they are kissing. Henry is shocked. A million thoughts run through his head, ‘ _their brothers, is a sin, they are both man, what are they doing?_ ’

He knows that demons lie, but this, this is real. “So is true then, what Crowley said about you two?” His tone is accusatory, and it comes out angrier than he intended.

Sam and Dean quickly separate and are stunned when they realized that Henry had seen them kiss. “Shit,” Dean says and it is barely audible.

Sam didn’t want Henry to see them like this, but he is not hiding from this either. He takes one step towards Henry and a step in front of Dean who is still holding onto Dea. “Look, we know that this is fucked up, but you have to understand that we are not going to stop.”

Henry frowns, “But is wrong. You guys are brother, is against nature, against God.”

Dean comes out to the side. Dean didn’t want Henry finding out any more than Sam did, because although he hasn’t been very fond of the guy, he is still family. And a part Dean will always feel a sense of responsibility for not having stopped things with Sam before they went too far that first night. But that no longer applies, he is with Sam now, and he is going to defend that. He is going to defend this happiness he feels when he is with Sam and Dea. “Yeah, well I think God owes us.”

Sam look at Henry and his eyes are pleading for understanding.

Henry’s frown deepens and his eyes narrow. “And the child?”

Sam looks side way to Dean with Dea, “She‘s… she is our daughter.” Sam can see Henry’s confusion clear as day. “She is both of ours.” Sam blushes when he says, “I carried her.”

Henry pulls out a chair from the table and sits, because this is seriously a lot of information to take in. While Henry is struggling to understand how it is possible for a male to become pregnant and bear children Sam moves quickly to retrieve the photo album that was lying nearby, to serve as some proof.

Sam hands Henry the photo album and he is stunned. He sees it with his owns eyes and he could barely believe it possible. He looks up to see Deanna and he can see the Winchester’s genes. She is such a beautiful child and seeing her closely for the first time he sees Sam and Dean in her appearance.

Henry shakes his head trying to come up with some clarity. “But how? How is this possible? Man do not get bear children.” He sees Sam in the album and looks the pictures over and clearly noting the bulge in Sam’s stomach and Henry read and rereads _‘nine months pregnant,’_ and he sees the smile and Sam’s hand in his round stomach.  Henry looks up to the boys for an explanation.

Dean adds in, “Cas, Castiel, our angel friend…He says that it happened because we are soul mates, and something about strong family lines.”

Henry’s eyes widen, “You are soul mates?”

Sam nods, “Yeah.”

Soul mates! Henry is conflicted, because he has done plenty of research to know that soul mates share a resilient and an unmistakable connection, and they would defend their other half against the world if necessary. Soul mates share the strongest human connection possible. Regardless, Sam and Dean are brothers, but they have a child now, a child that is a part of both of them.  

Sam takes a seat at the table but not so close that Henry would feel uncomfortable. Sam glances at Dean and then he looks back to Henry, “We know that this is a lot to take in. And I know that you think is wrong, I respect that, but I’m going to ask you to respect our decision.”

Henry is staring at his hands in top of the table and he looks up when Sam takes a sit on the table. He looks at Dean still holding on to Dea and when he looks at Sam he nods. “Yes, okay.”

“Okay?” Dean asks, and he adjusts Dea in his arms. Dea starts to fall asleep, adult conversation must tire her out, or she could be crushing from the sugar.

“I won’t pretend to understand. I don’t know either of you well enough to understand how this…” he waves his hands to Sam and Dean, “relationship progressed. This is not my timeline and I don’t think it is right to pass judgment… I know that times change.”

Dean gets closer to Sam and he looks at Henry as he speaks. “Thank you, it means a lot to us. We don’t have much family but each other.”

Henry nods again and he stands up to leave. He doesn’t know how to feel about this thing happening to his family and he can’t help but feel somewhat responsible. It is his fault that he is nowhere close to getting back home, and that because of this he knows that he has destroyed John’s life.  He will not be there to guide John and in return protect his children from this unnatural progression in their relationship.

 _‘But they are soul mates,’_ his mind provides, _‘they have a child… together.’_  Henry really wants to understand. He leaves to tend to things that do make sense; a way to start the trials.

The boys see Henry leave, and Dean lets out a sigh and once again say, “Shit.”

“I know. I figure we had some more time before we had to talk about this. You think he is going to be okay? You know the whole not getting back to his time, only to find out that his only relatives are screwing each other.” Sam asks Dean as he face him and starts rubbing his hands up and down Dea’s back while she sleeps.

“Jeesh Sam, I was going to say that he is going to be fine, but when you put it like that….”Dean pauses for a moment and looks in the direction that Henry departed before he returns his gaze back to Sam. “I hope he is, he is a Winchester after all. Is what we do right? Get hit with weird shit and then get over it the best we can?”

Sam nods because there is no denying that that is exactly how Winchesters deal with tough situation, suck it up and move past it. “Why don’t I put Dea to bed and you makes us something good to eat?”

Dean lets out a puff of air, “What am I your personal cook?” And he hands Dea back to Sam.

Sam lets out a small laugh, “Like I don’t know that you secretly love to cook.” Sam sees that Dean is about to protest and he quickly adds, “Plus, do you really want me in the kitchen again?”

“Uh uh,” and Dean shakes his head, “no way, I trusted you with some simple spaghetti… never again.”

“Alright they weren’t that bad…” Sam sees that disgusted face Dean makes. “If you held your breath and swallow without chewing.” Saw lets out in a small voice and he sees Dean smile.

“Unlike you I do value our lives, so I am going to go make us something to eatable.” Dean says, and he receives a smack on his backside as Sam passes by him to take Dea to bed. “Tease.” Dean says to Sam’s back and he knows that Sam is smiling.

This is their life now.


	11. Epilogue

 

The next few days pass uneventful. Henry doesn’t necessarily ignores the boys, but he doesn’t particularly strike up a conversation unless it is necessary. Crowley is yet to reveal any information regarding the demons topside, and Kevin is the last one to find out for certain that Sam and Dean are now an item. Kevin takes the news to their relationship much better than Henry did, but he finds it just as astonishing that Sam had carried Dea. Regardless of how he feels about Sam’s and Dean’s relationship he says that he needs to go back to living by himself. He rents a car and he drives back to California and promises that he will keep in contact.

In the next two weeks the Winchester man work on completing the first trial. Henry volunteers to complete the trial, although they get nothing but protest from Sam and Dean. He tells them that it must be him, that they have a child to look after and they should be more responsible. And Henry can tell that his words have an effect on the boys. He feels that he let John down, but he can make it up to his grandchildren.

The first one is not as hard as they thought it would be. Apparently a lot of people like making deals with demons, and it only takes finding a person who has sold their soul to know that after their ten years are up, the hell-hounds would come on growling.  

For the second trial they spent an entire month trying to obtain intel about how to get to Hell and back. The Winchesters had to capture crossroad demon after crossroad demon to get the information until one of them actually spilled. The demon informs them that there is, for a lack of a better word, a rabbit hole in purgatory that would lead them straight into Hell and back. That there is a reaper that for a price would transport a person to purgatory.

Dean knows the horrors that is purgatory not to mention hell, and the three Winchesters spent three days debating why it is such a bad idea to even consider it and that they should find another way around this. But Henry is just as stubborn as Sam and Dean, and trying to convince him to stop at their attempts to close the gates of hell forever is just foolish and irresponsible to the human race. So Henry takes his trip to purgatory, finds the rabbit hole and rescues Bobby’s soul from damnation. Only that instead of going straight to heaven once rescued, Castiel deceives to step in and use his power to restore Bobby’s soul and body. To say that Sam and Dean are happy is an understatement.

Henry is getting weaker and the boys can tell that the trials are having a negative effect on his body. One day Sam notices Henry coughing up blood, apparently it has been happening for a while, but he has been hiding it well. Sam tells Dean, and Dean demands that Castiel works his mojo on Henry and cure him, but not even Castiel can repair the internal damage, the damage is irreparable.

The third trial is by far the most consuming not only time wise, but it requires a physical and emotion devotion and motivation. How does one cure the King of Hell, of demons? It feels wrong to have to essentially torture someone into submission, but Crowley is demon, he had it coming and all this pales in comparison to all the horrible things he has done. Plus if this all work, he will no longer be a demon, he will be human, blood and flesh and vulnerable just like the rest of us. One more spirit put to rest, or at least to what it once was before evil consumed him.  

The third trial is taking a bigger toll on Henry, and he looks pale and ill. He is using his blood to inject Crowley with and during the first three attempts there is not as much as a flinch; no reaction at all. They don’t give up, and attempt after attempt is proving fruitless until the seventh try some of Crowley’s humanity sips through and for a moment, there is no more screams, but a few tears as if he is remembering something from his past. He looks to be in pain, physical pain and pain of a different kind.

It is unfair that Crowley the King of Hell, the king of demons gets another chance at life, while Henry is sacrificed in the process. Sam and Dean tried everything to stop him from completing the final task, after they find out that Henry will have to die in order for the last spell to work. Henry knows that this is his destiny. He knows that all though he couldn’t save his John, his family has a chance, a chance to live in a world without demons.

The final spells is completed. As soon as Henry reads the words there is a wave of energy that surrounds them and moments later Sam and Dean are left with a human Crowley and their dead grandfather a few feet away. Henry receives a hunter’s funeral. The world will never know that Henry saved the world, that because of him there will be no more demons in this realm, and that all supernatural creatures were sucked back into the gates. He died a fighter.

 

They have been living in the bunker for nearly two months after Henry died, but Sam is still living out of boxes. Dean knows that he doesn’t feel at home, to him the bunker rocks, it is safe, is clean, doesn’t have lumpy finisher, no foul and spoil smells and best of all, very nice shower water pressure. But Sammy, Sammy doesn’t feel at home. And then that is when it dawns on Dean. Back when Castiel had taken him back to the past he took some liberties and invested all the money he had in his pocket and now it is worth a small fortune.

“Sammy keep your eyes close, we are almost there.”

“Dean what is this all about? You do realize that is Dea’s birthday not mine, right?”

“Shut up, course I know.”

Dean pulls up the road and he parks the car. He sees Sam trying to peek, “Sam, I swear it god…” He lets the warning hang knowing perfectly well that making Sam miserable would only bring misery to himself.

Sam lets out a chuckle and he smiles because he knows just how excited Dean has been since the morning. He is under the impression that they are going to do something special for Dea’s first birthday.

Dean gets out of the car, and he lets Jack out of the back seat and he pulls Dea out of her baby seat. He quickly moves to open the passenger door to let Sam out and he grabs Sam’s hand to let him know that it is okay to come out. “Keep them shut alright?”

“If I fall I’m totally going to kick your ass”

“Language Sam.”

Sam smiles, “You are one to talk.” Dea’s vocabulary has become more extensive and she has a tendency to repeat all the wrong words. It is a non-official rule to not curse in front of the toddler.

Dean guides Sam until they are a few feet away from the Impala. “Open your eyes.”

Sam opens his eyes and he is greeted with the sight of a beautiful two story house. It is painted white and grey with some hints of yellows. He realizes that the impala is parked in a dirt road and the only house seems to be at least three minutes away by walking. Sam looks at Dean and he can tell that he is looking sort of nervous. Quite frankly, Sam is nervous because he has no idea what they are doing in this neighborhood in South Dakota. “Dean? Whose house is this?”

Dean is still holding on to Dea. “Yours… ours.”

Sam shakes his head and smiles, “what?” Sam is amused because certainly Dean can’t be serious, they could never afford a house like this. But Dean’s expression told him something different. “You got us a house?”

Dean takes his free hand grabs Sam’s and squeezes. “Yeah Sammy, I did.” Dean looks at his brother and smiles, “And before you say anything, no I didn’t rub a bank, is all legit.”  Dean can later explain to Sam how he came up with the money.

Sam smiling dimples and all, “You got us a house.”

“Howsy” Dea says excitedly.

“That’s right Dea, daddy got us a house.” Sam coos Dea and tickles her belly.

“Yeah well,” Dean shrugs, “we have been through enough. Let’s not waste any more time.” And with that Dean kisses Sam with such passion and urgency that he feels that he is going to explode.

Sam and Dean’s life has seen nothing but the darkness of the night. The loneliness the night is accompanied by and the danger the lurk in the shadows. There has been no rest and there has been no mercy. There has been no light. Every day for the last  thirty years of their lives they have known loss beyond any one man can endure. They have been tortured, mistreated, persecuted, and killed more than once. They have known hell both figuratively and literally and  they have loss each other more than they can stand.  Everyday there was only the tiniest hope that anything would ever change.

Sam and Dean have been lost and broken for so long that this glimpse of a future seems but a dream. And every time this darkness they call a life gets closer and closer, they know that the dawn is coming and that Dea has provided that light. And that light is right there within reach and the moment that they wait for it to fully sip through, seems to be the darkest knowing that for once it is actually a possibility. It has always been darkest before the dawn. But when it finally hits them; that they have survived it all despite all the battles and struggles. Their future looks bright and promising for once. No more monsters, no more sacrificing, no more  dying until they are good and ready.

Dean pulls Sam towards the house, their house, and Sam walks without a second thought. After all they have been through, after all the fights and struggles, after all the deaths and sacrifices, they have survived. And all they have ever needed is each other...and a baby and a dog.

**The End**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have about four different one shots for this story. Stick around.

**Author's Note:**

> Images used for this fic came from Google, I merely edit them in Photoshop.


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